


Tony Stark is Not a Relationship Expert (But He is Still Doing Better than Phil Coulson)

by Misscar



Series: In A World Like This [3]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A Simmons without her Fitz is just sad, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Compliant, And Skye discovers this the hard way, Angst and Humor, Antoine Triplett is Peggy Carter's Grandson, BAMF Melinda May, Blackmail, But he's trying really hard, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Complicated Relationships, Declarations Of Love, Developing Relationship, Dom/sub Undertones, Domestic Avengers, F/M, Gen, How Maria Hill ended up working for Tony Stark, How Tony and Steve finally got their act together despite their own stupidity, Hydra (Marvel), Iron Man 3 Compliant, It's complicated Fitzsimmons due to Hydra, M/M, May ships Steve/Tony, Missing Scene, Nick Fury Lies, Nick Fury Plays Matchmaker, Oral Sex, Pepper Potts deserves another apology gift basket, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Phil finally makes good on that threat, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Sex Tapes, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor, Skye and JARVIS are BFFs, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, The secret life of Lola, Tony Feels, Tony Has Issues, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Is Not Helping, Tony Stark players matchmaker To Coulson, Tony does not like Sharon Carter, Tony ships May/Colson, Voyeurism, What was Tony doing during Winter Soldier, blackmail porn collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-10-14
Packaged: 2018-02-03 22:38:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 52,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1758701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misscar/pseuds/Misscar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark has never excelled at interpersonal relationships of any type, but there are others who are even worse at this than him, like that idiot who forgot to mention that he wasn’t dead any more. This is the story of what Tony was doing while everybody else was handling the SHIELD “situation” and how he found out Agent Agent was alive. Okay, maybe this story is more complicated than that.</p><p>This can be read as a standalone story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Day Everything Blew Up.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the companion piece to Complicated Love Stories from the District of Insanity, but it can be read as a standalone story. Because I got so many nice reviews and kudos, I decided to do more in this universe. This was originally going to be a one-shot, but it just got too long and I had a little too much fun writing Coulson & Tony banter. At a minimum, this will be 3 to 4 chapters. 
> 
> The story is cannon compliant for the MCU up to episode 22 of AOS, but will divert from there. (In other words, this story will probably be AU as soon as the new season of AOS starts.) That being said, this contains spoilers for everything before then including Winter Soldier.
> 
> Relationships: Tony/Steve, May/Coulson, Tony & Coulson, Tony & May, Steve/May (their relationship is mostly platonic in this story, but they slept together previously) and various background relationships past and present, including Tony/Pepper that is readjusting to becoming Tony & Pepper once more and FitzSimmons. I do love that complicated relationship, but they need their own story. 
> 
> Rated M for language, Tony being Tony, sexual content, and violence.
> 
> Other warnings: This story is written by a dyslexic person using voice recognition software. Prone to crazy voice recognition errors and changing tenses without even realizing it. My beta tries her best, so proceed with compassion.
> 
> Proofread by Grayson Steele

“I’m the first one to acknowledge that I’ve made a lot of mistakes; the rubble that is my former Malibu house is testament to that.” Tony said as he poured himself a drink from the bar. “There are a number of people who want my head on a platter including my own Board of Directors. It’s a small miracle I survived the 90s without an STI, legitimate paternity suit, or overdose.”

 

“No, just palladium poisoning a decade later,” the formally dead man in front of him sniped.

 

“Laugh it up, Director Agent. Look, I’m trying to explain the story of how The Calvary managed to save my ass after my latest complete and utter fuck up. The color commentary is unnecessary.” Tony snapped.

 

“Whatever you do, do not call her that. She literally nailed her ex-whatever to the ground before fracturing his larynx. He still can’t talk very well which is making interrogation slow.” The guy in the suit warned.

 

“According to my new head of international security, he was Hydra.” Ninja neighbor told Steve all about it during one of their epic email exchanges before Tony arranged this little trip. The Director just shrugged before taking a sip of his own drink.

 

“He was a lost kid who was following the wrong guy for what he thought was the right reasons. A guy who he thought rescued him from hell, only to put him in a new one. Unfortunately, that unwarranted loyalty led to Grant betraying the first group of people who actually saw him as something other than a tool.”

 

“Now, I know why you were chosen to take over this gig.” Tony said taking another slow drink. Steve would get mad if he got drunk.

 

“I hope Agent Scary doesn’t speak to Pepper anytime soon. If I do one more stupid thing, Pepper will probably attach my balls to the nearest wall, even without any encouragement. Personally, I’m surprised that she didn’t toss Steve’s I’m-sorry-I’m-fucking-your-ex flowers at his head.”

 

There was a business dinner last week that went probably as well as could be expected considering the circumstances. And yes, Steve did bring her flowers.

 

“What stupid thing did you do recently that could possibly lead to your ex-girlfriend nailing you to the wall by the genitals? And how does it relate to Steve at all?” The man asked.

 

“He’s my boyfriend.” That caused Director Agent to choke on the very expensive bourbon that Tony had bought for this particular conversation.

 

“How did that happen?” At least, the man formally known as Agent Agent did not say any variation of ‘but I thought he was straight’. Even without the tabloids covering his every single move, nobody has any trouble believing that Tony is an equal opportunist, but apparently Steve is the paragon of straightness. Then again, the guy in front of Tony was essentially unflappable and according to rumor slept with Hawkeye at some point.

 

“How did that happen?” Coulson repeated.

 

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. So after your death that was greatly exaggerated for the sake of…” Tony began, but was cut off.

 

“It was not exaggerated.” Director Agent argued. “I died. I was dead for days and then was in the shield equivalent to ICU for a month.” Tony is positive ICU is code for something too classified for the files that Natasha dumped on the web along with the fact that the Nikki’s handpicked replacement managed to survive getting stabbed in the back by Loki. Although, it seems like “survive” was the wrong word.

 

“I had 8 surgeries and everybody around me worried I was going to go off the deep end, which is apparently the real reason why I was ordered not to tell any of my friends that I was no longer dead.” Coulson told him angrily.

 

“We are so having a long, possibly loud conversation about that later, but not now.” Tony knew that one of them would just end up walking away if that conversation happened now and Tony needed to keep Director Agent occupied.

 

“So after your ‘temporary death’ and my almost death because that complete dick Pierce was looking for any excuse to nuke Manhattan, Pepper and I decided to make it official.”

 

“The press release said that you 2 just broke off your three-year relationship not filed for divorce.” Even while hiding from Generals, the guy was keeping up with tabloid reports about his love life. It’s almost enough to make Tony happy that he and Steve are keeping things quiet for a while.

 

“We never did have the lawyers put together the pre-nup.” Tony said with a sad smile as he finished his drink.

 

“We weren’t ready for a step that permanent and in light of what happened that was the right decision. Maybe that should’ve been the first sign that neither of us was expecting forever. I don’t know, but for a while there things were good.” Director Agent just gave him the look. Okay, maybe he was still keeping an eye on him, even though he was tucked away on his own plane doing the shield equivalent to busywork.

 

“Okay. Things were not that good. I may have been having my own near after life crisis, there were also panic attacks and additional multiple near-death experiences triggered by terrorists. Also, in hindsight that asshole Pierce managed to make sure Steve was doing black ops missions in the middle of nowhere when shit went down. But I’m not telling that story again because the last time I did it, Bruce fell asleep.”

 

“I’m not sure how that’s even possible when you’re speaking.” Director Agent just shook his head.

 

“I don’t know either. I’m very entertaining.” Coulson rolled his eyes. “It doesn’t matter because most of it is on the Internet now. So you’re aware, I had the arc reactor removed and I decided to hang up the armor or rather blow up the armor.” He continued to explain.

 

“Which apparently did not take given that you landed in the middle of my secretbase 45 minutes ago. Do I even want to know why this base is equipped to handle said armor?” The man questioned.

 

“Hey, you called me.” It’s probably best that the new director doesn’t know Tony designed this place personally. It may have happened during one of his post New York bouts of paranoia.

 

“I had no idea your number would be the second one in the toolbox.” Coulson argued.

 

“You’re trying to rebuild a covert agency to protect people without the government corruption that crippled the original organization. Of course, my private cell phone number is going to be the second thing on the list. Besides, Nikki has a thing for playing matchmaker. He’s the whole reason why the undercover agent formally known as May Phillips worked so hard to make me and Steve play nice. Now he’s trying to do the same with us.”

 

“You’re not my type.” Coulson said without missing a beat.

 

“No, you prefer beautiful warrior women, who could rip your head off with their bare hands,” Tony quipped. To Tony’s amusement and surprise, the director twitched just a little. Okay, Hill’s stories about the legendary “Really, we’re just friends” duo were true, even if Director Agent couldn’t remember everything.

 

“As glad as I am that you’re not dead, I already have a boyfriend. I mean, we could probably try talking him into a four-way as a thank-alien-super-drugs-that-you’re-not-dead present, but I’m not sure he would go for that. Although, you do both have a birthday coming up next month and mine was just last week.” By that point, Director Agent had his head in his hands.

 

“Stark, why are you here? I don’t even know why I missed you so much.” Tony smirked at that.

 

“I missed you too. We’re trying to catch up with me telling you the story how your beautiful warrior managed to set me up with your boyhood hero after I completely fucked up two of the most important relationships in my life.”

 

“She’s not my beautiful warrior. She doesn’t see me that way.” The director said a little bit too quickly. Tony smirked. It looks like he was going to be able to pay Scary Spy back after all.

 

“Oh yes, she is. Probably more so than the Portland cellist because Agent May actually knows you. I am even halfway convinced that she slept with Capsicle just because he was on your bucket list.” Director Agent was practically spluttering at that. He was either angry or Tony provided him with masturbatory material for the next month.

 

“Don’t be that upset about it. Think of it as a weird tribute to you. Apparently, she agreed to the undercover babysitting assignment because Nikki told her it was your last wish for her to help acclimate the Captain to this brave new fucked up world. You have a lot of last wishes.” He joked.

 

“That’s not possible. She hates undercover work.” Tony smirked again at that. “Nick Fury is a fucking liar.”

 

“You won’t get any argument there. Also, you would be amazed what someone will do for the person that they are actually in love with.” Director Agent didn’t have a comeback for that. His mouth just fell open for a couple of seconds.

 

“She did her job and got Steve to do something other than beat the hell out of a punching bag. She also got us to make nice after I was a complete dick, more than once.” Tony explained.

 

“That part I believe.” The director interrupted and Tony rolled his eyes again.

 

“As I was discovering that Steve was kind of cool to hang around with, Pepper and I were starting to fall apart. I was starting to resent her for not understanding what I needed and she resented me for not giving her what she needed. We didn’t trust each other enough to talk about these things. Also, apparently retirement doesn’t work for someone like me.”

 

“As evidenced by the fact that you came here in the suit. I like the upgrades, by the way.” Director Agent quipped but Tony ignored him.

 

“The whole thing made me restless. I was taking more meetings in DC to spend time with Steve and Pepper was anywhere but New York a good 90% of the time. I was also trying to live vicariously through recounts of Steve’s various missions, but it wasn’t enough. Then, Pepper discovered that I was tinkering with the armor again.” It was more like she’d found him during one of his four-day design binges, but Coulson didn’t need to know that.

 

“She wasn’t happy and suggested I spend the weekend where I really wanted to be and to figure out what it was I wanted. The answer turned out to be with Steve in his Georgetown apartment. I was mad. There was alcohol involved and I slept with Steve. He ran away. I was having Jarvis send Pepper designer shoe apology baskets and not explaining why as I avoided her by any means possible, then SHIELD blew up.”

 

Xxx

**6 weeks earlier**

Tony doesn’t exactly remember how long he’s been in his private workshop in the tower. There may have been an overseas business meeting or two since the Steve incident, but Tony really doesn’t remember. He left DC six days ago after Steve never returned to his apartment with coffee or anything else for that matter. He’s pretty much lost all sense of time since ordering JARVIS to send Pepper ‘I screwed up’ basket number eight and has been hiding in his workshop. (Steve almost got a coffee basket, but he decided not to send it at the last minute.)

 

The only reason why Tony wasn’t upset about not hearing from Steve since the incident was that Steve had been sent on some top-secret mission that Tony has yet to find any information for other than the fact it happened. He’s hoping that the fact that Steve has yet to call him after what they did Sunday was due to another full communications blackout rather than he never wanted to see Tony again because he completely fucked everything up. (He also really hopes the reason why Steve has yet to contact him was not that the mission had gone so badly that Steve was in a cave somewhere being… Tony shut down that train of thought. He didn’t want to think about that possibility.)

 

Tony is well aware he completely fucked everything up. He’s just not sure if he’s completely wrecked his relationship with Pepper and Steve or just his relationship with Pepper. He wasn’t even that drunk. He drank 2 shots and fed the rest to Steve without the man realizing otherwise. He only pretended to be drunk because in his own experience people tend to let him get away with inappropriate behavior if they assume he's only doing it because he's inebriated.

 

Of course, the fact that he was mostly sober means that there is no excuse for cheating on Pepper. Their relationship was already falling to pieces. They were fighting daily about every little thing, but mostly the new armor. There was also a lot of fighting about Steve, which, considering what happened now makes sense. Pepper felt his willingness to take almost any meeting in DC was an obvious sign that he rather spend time with Steve then her. It would’ve been so much easier if he could tell her about the design work he was doing for Shield, but he couldn’t. There were so many parts of his life that he couldn’t talk to her about due to her lack of security clearance or just because he wasn’t ready to talk about it.

 

Last Friday things came to their breaking point. She told him to go see Steve and figure out who he really wanted and not to come back until he knew the answer.

 

Tony had known the answer before he’d left. This wasn’t working. He loved Pepper and he was trying, but at the same time he was beginning to resent her and that wasn’t fair. He could run the numbers in his head 1000 times, but there was no simple equation to make this work, to fix it.

 

When Steve came along, he started to wonder if he wanted to fix things. He bagan to contemplate what fixing things actually meant. Did he want to fix their romantic relationship or did Tony want things to be the way they were before? He misses his friend Pepper more than his girlfriend Pepper. He missed talking to her the way they used to before the resentment, the panic attacks and the sex complicated everything.

 

He’s not sure it’s possible to go back to that, especially after last Sunday. Tony is fairly certain he burned that bridge down to the ground. Burning bridges is what he’s best at after all. He just wonders if he burnt his bridge to Steve as well. He didn’t know and the bastard had yet to call.

 

In all fairness, Tony hadn’t tried to call Steve either, but Steve did leave Tony to wake up alone in his apartment and deal with the plant next door, who pretty much hated Tony and the feeling was mutual. Her job was to keep Steve safe not to act like a schoolgirl with a crush around him.

 

It seemed obvious to him that “Nurse Kate” was a Shield agent at least more so than the previous occupant, “May Phillips”. A GS 13 State Department employee can afford a one-bedroom apartment in Georgetown, especially if her last tour was in a place where she didn’t have to spend a lot and had a decent savings. The only reason why Tony knew “May Phillips” was actually a Shield agent was because he remembered her losing it at Agent Agent’s funeral.

 

However, Nurse Kate couldn’t afford that apartment unless mommy or daddy or more likely “Uncle Nikki” was picking up the tab. The fact that Natasha keeps going on about her virtues in an effort to set her up with Steve makes it even more obvious. If Steve chose undercover Barbie over…

 

Tony’s internal monologue was interrupted by Jarvis letting him know that somebody was trying to break into his personal space. The only person allowed in his private workshop right now was Bruce. Not even his new assistant, Candy had access (that’s not her real name but she usually tries to bribe him with chocolate to do anything).

 

However, it can’t be Bruce because he is currently in Afghanistan handing out polio vaccinations, he thinks. It’s a Maria Stark Foundation initiative. He really wishes Bruce was here right now, even if the man would fall asleep in the middle of the story, again. He needs a friend to talk to about his complete fuck up and Rhodey would instantly take Pepper side.

 

He moved toward the lab’s access door and came face-to-face with an angry Pepper, who just happened to be holding a suitcase.

 

Shit!

 

She must know without him saying anything because Pepper knows everything. This was not good, but he deserved it.

 

“I gave you that override code for emergencies and…”

 

“Steve is missing.” Pepper interrupted.

 

“That qualifies.” Tony said as all the color drained from his face. “What do you mean he’s missing? JARVIS, why didn’t you say anything?” He asked the AI.

 

“I have tried to alert you of the situation for the last 75.6 minutes. However, all attempts have been futile.” The AI actually sounded annoyed. Tony remembers muting Jarvis or increasing the volume of whatever he’s been playing to drown out the voice of his AI. He’s been in a mood.

 

“Steve being in danger overrides all other commands.” As soon as he says this, Pepper gives him a sad little look. “I should have known something was wrong when he hadn’t contacted me for the last 6 days. Who knows what type a suicide mission Nikki sent him on? I’m going to kill Nick Fury.”

 

“Sir, I believe it is too late for that.” That’s when his AI bombards him with reports of Nick Fury’s assassination at the hands of the World Security Council (Tony did not find that surprising at all) and images of his recently redesigned Heller carriers crashing into the organization’s DC headquarters. Also, all of shield’s dirty secrets have been conveniently dumped on the Internet, including the fact that Hydra has been growing inside the organization since daddy dearest started it. He isn’t surprised considering the man believed Obadiah was a good person, so it was obvious that his ability to choose partners was absolute shit.

 

Tony believes his tech is being used in the attempt to kill off anybody who could possibly have a problem with a Hydra world order and that Steve is leading the resistance to keep that from happening, but he’s not certain. There are too many talking heads and Tony was uncertain of what actually happened, but it seems like they are just as confused.

 

“I need to get to DC now.” It’s the first thing he’s said in almost 15 minutes. It looks like the new suit is going to get a test run sooner than expected, but Pepper stops him before he can get anywhere near it.

 

“You can’t fly into DC right now. They will shoot you down the moment you get near Bethesda, especially because you may be linked to this in some way. I expect the FBI to arrive at any moment to question you about what happened. That’s the entire reason why Ms. Candace asked me to pry you out of your workshop after not being able to get you out of here herself for the last twenty-four hours.” Considering the serious look Pepper was giving him, she wasn’t joking. “And that was before we knew about Steve.”

 

“Then, I’m just going to have to avoid the Maryland suburbs. The ones in Virginia are so much nicer anyway. Why do you think I still have the house in Arlington?” He quipped. He needed to get to Steve now, regardless of what Pepper thinks.

 

“So James has a place to stay whenever he has a Pentagon assignment since you destroyed an entire floor of the Pentagon City Ritz-Carlton,” Pepper sighed.

 

"That and I like the eggplant Parmesan from the Italian place down the street across from Freddie’s. I have no memory of the Ritz-Carlton thing.” Pepper stood there shaking her head.

 

“Because you weren’t the one who had to clean it up. You put a hole in the ceiling and that was before you had a metal suit. The real reason you still have the Arlington house was so that you would have a place to stay when you made some excuse to visit Steve. Because of the Ritz-Carlton incident, you are banned from most hotels in the greater DC metropolitan area.” Tony decided it was in his best interest not to mention that he mostly has been staying at Steve’s apartment when he was in town.

 

“Jarvis make arrangements for me to get into DC the normal way.” He said, ignoring Pepper’s angry stare. She probably knew that he was still going to fly to DC on his own and this was just for show.

 

“DC has been declared a no-fly zone and most air-traffic has been grounded on the East Coast; however, Amtrak is still servicing the city at this time. Ms. Potts has already arranged for you to be on the next Acela. You will be allowed to bring any specialized equipment necessary for rescue operations.” Tony translates that to mean Amtrak has no trouble with him bringing a suit with him. If it was for anything else – anyone else, he wouldn’t even consider getting on a commercial train, but it was Steve and he needed to get to DC.

 

“You have 55 minutes to get to Penn Station. Just in case you have a seat on the next normal train to New York as well. Your assistant and Mr. George are waiting for you outside.” She said, handing him the suitcase. Mr. George was Tony’s new East Coast driver, although not that new. He was his father’s security guard when Tony was a kid.

 

“Thank you, Ms. Potts.” Because what do you say to a person who is absolutely perfect, but not perfect for you.

 

“If you were missing in DC, I would want to get to you as fast as possible despite everything going on right now.” The way she said it told Tony that he wasn’t fooling anybody by hiding in his workshop.

 

“You know, don’t you?” Tony is sure that she does because Pepper is the smartest woman he knows.

 

“That you’re in love with Steve? I just got that.” Pepper said keeping her voice as controlled as possible. “That you’re sleeping with Steve? I’ve suspected it for a while. I can’t think of any other reason you would voluntarily take a meeting with the head of DOE, NIH, or the EPA.”

 

“It didn’t happen until…” He started to defend himself, but what was the point? It didn’t matter if he slept with Steve for the first time last week or six months ago, it was still cheating.

 

“I honestly didn’t care if you were sleeping with him as long as I didn’t have to pick up his dry-cleaning in the morning or read about it in the tabloids. Just sex I could handle.” He couldn’t detect any sarcasm in her words, except for the part about dry-cleaning. In hindsight, he realizes asking his assistant to clean up after your one night stand was in bad taste.

 

“I should’ve never…”

 

“No, you shouldn’t have. I’ve always known who you are. I wasn’t expecting to change you. After nearly a decade of trying to get you to board meetings on time, I’m well aware that some things are impossible.” Pepper said sadly.

 

“Apparently my being monogamous is one of those things?” He said, running a hand through his hair.

 

“That’s not it. You didn’t just sleep with Steve, you fell in love with him.”

 

“It was only--You’re right.” He acquiesced because he wasn’t going to win that argument, no matter how much he tried. “This is different than when you had to take out the “trash” pre-Afghanistan. Don’t come in here and argue that you haven’t tried to change me because you have. We haven’t really been arguing about Steve, we have been arguing about that.” Tony said pointing to the new armor.

 

“I know. And it wasn’t right. I just -we can talk about this later. You have a train to catch.” Obviously Pepper didn’t want to talk about this.

 

“I can always drive, plus I really don’t want to take a train anyway. It’s not that far. We need to talk about this.” Because, really, he’s put this off for way too long.

 

“Not right now.” Pepper said opening the door to exit his lab. “The train is faster, even with the way you dri...” Her words are cut off by the sounds of bullets ricocheting off the wall and explosions from elsewhere in the building.

To be continued

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the first chapter. Also, thank you to everybody who left kudos, favorite this story, bookmark this story, or added it to your alerts. Every little bit encourages me to keep writing. I would love to get more of your comments. Reviews make the writer happy. Happy writers write faster. 
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: sexual content, voyeurism, and violence.

 

Since Tahiti or rather TAHITI, Phil has wondered what would happen when he was finally able to tell his friends the truth or at least some plausible variation of it. Would they be happy he was back or angry that he waited so long to tell them. Jasper was angry, but Sitwell was never really his friend. Although, what he was most afraid of is that no one would care. Some days it feels like Melinda is the only person who has ever really been his friend and even then she betrayed him.

 

So he had been surprised to get a hug from Tony Stark after the man crash their secret base (and even more so to receive a semi-serious offer of group sex). He also wasn’t expecting the man to bring him very, very expensive alcohol. (How did Tony manage to bring that in the suit?) He certainly hadn’t been expecting to sit there drinking said alcohol while Stark explains the story of – okay; he was not entirely sure what story Tony was trying to tell him. He is still not certain how Tony and Steve got together or Melinda’s role in it.

Phil would be talking to her later about her allegedly having sex with Captain America during an undercover assignment - one he knew nothing about. She would have told him about Steve because they’re friends and friends tell each other those things.

Instead, he heard another story about how Virginia “Pepper” Potts was the most remarkable woman he has ever met next to Melinda. She was definitely the most patient. If Stark did something like that to him, Phil would’ve brought out the Taser-the big one. Forget the Taser, an ICER would be involved.

“So while my team and I were being shot at by “SHIELD” drones and discovering that somebody I have known for nearly 3 decades was the same person who had me kidnapped and had a member of my team practically murdered just to find out why I am not dead, you were hiding in your lab because you cheated on your girlfriend? A girlfriend who just happens to be one of the best individuals I’ve ever met.” Phil said slightly upset. He was really tempted to use the ICER on Stark.

“At least we agree on that.” Tony said. Phil griped the ICERin his hand and glared angrily at him. “According to Pepper, the Steve thing only counts as emotional infidelity, which was-- oh, don’t look at me like that. Being locked in the lab is probably the only reason I’m still alive right now. As soon as we opened the door, “Mr. George” and my assistant started shooting at me and Pepper. Jarvis had to activate my new don’t-let-the-evil-people-get-my-tech protocols. I had to come here in my second post retirement suit.”

The attack didn’t surprise Phil at all. He knew that SHIELD and other agencies had people strategically placed at SI. Phil remembered George from a file he read years ago.

“This guy who used to give me candy as a kid was actually a Hydra sleeper agent. That was equally as traumatic as being stabbed in the back by close friends, possibly literally.”

“Apparently, he missed.” Phil remarked dryly.

“He missed me. He shot Pepper in the shoulder after she disarmed ‘Candy’ and I shot Mr. George- if that was his real name -in the chest with his sidekick’s gun as Jarvis was blowing everything up and moving specs elsewhere.” Phil would ask how he was able to do that, but he was sure training with the new boyfriend was probably involved.

 

“He was your dad’s SHIELD appointed bodyguard. He was assigned to him when your father decided to take a smaller role in the organization after you were born.” Stark snickered at that as Phil started to explain. This was all in Stark’s file Phil read when he was first assigned to keep an eye on the man post-Afghanistan.

 

“He stayed on to watch you and Mr. Stane after…” Phil stopped speaking because he wasn’t sure how much Stark already knew about his father’s death. Phil knew that information was leaked to the web, but he wasn’t sure if Tony read it yet or if Tony would even want to. Phil has yet to touch the uncensored file regarding his own father’s murder.

“Hydra or as I like to think of it SHYDRA had my father taken out because he knew too much.” Stark finished for him. Apparently he did read that file.

“That was all over the news before I even made it out of Manhattan. I wonder if George went to the Darkside before or after dad died? Considering George was the one in charge of keeping dad from driving completely sloshed, I’m going to go with before.” Stark said bitterly.

 

“Are you aware that the police report regarding your father’s death was fabricated to make it look like a drunk driving accident?”

 

That was another thing in the Stark file. The assassination was originally covered up because the situation with Russia was very precarious at that time, with the dissolution of the Soviet Union just days away or at least that was the official explanation.

 

Alexander Pierce was the director of SHIELD at the time, after taking over for Margaret Carter-Jones four years previous, because she resigned due to family issues (Coulson now knows this “family issue” was her youngest daughter giving birth at 16 and being ordered to resign because of it). So it’s highly probable that Pierce was covering up his own actions. Now that Phil was director of this organization, he did not feel like keeping unnecessary secrets. It is one of many ways Shield 2.0 is going to differ from its predecessor.

 

“Now I know they were taken out by SHYDRA’svery own Manchurian Candidate or rather Manchurian Winter Soldier, also known as my boyfriend’s mind wiped childhood best friend, who Steve is still trying to find.” He wanted to ask about that (especially because of the mind wiped comment) but Stark did not give him a chance.

 

“We all got fucked over by SHYDRA. You got stabbed in the back by old friends. Thankfully, it was just figuratively this time. Bruce was attacked by the unit that was supposed to be protecting the team of doctors he was working with and Clint’s partner tried to shoot him. Also, in my case, I designed one of the main pieces of technology they were going to use to kill all of us. You were at the top of the kill list with the rest of the Avengers.”

 

Phil just looked at him shocked for a moment. It was one thing for his predecessor to consider him an Avenger, but for Tony to say that was another thing entirely.

 

“Not to mention, I had to spend 5 hours in a car with my new ex-girlfriend trying not to get killed and/or arrested. Awkward would be an understatement.”

 

“Why did you take her to DC with you?” Stark just gave Phil an annoyed look at his question.

 

“I wasn’t going to leave her in the tower to get killed, especially given that she was already shot. She’s Pepper.” It was the same justification he gave for bringing Melinda with the team when they evacuated the Hub even though he was furious at her at the time. He couldn’t leave her in danger. No matter what, he just couldn’t do that even if he hated her. Not that he could ever hate her, even after TAHITI. That fact was part of the reason why he was so upset.

 

“It was a productive trip. I apologized about 15 times as well as placed an order for apology basket number 10. We came up with the wording for the press release about the breakup. We agreed that I would be staying in DC for the next 3 months to deal with the fallout and to give her some ‘space’. We contacted SI legal which started to come up with a strategy to keep me from being arrested for accidentally designing a piece of technology that was going to be used to massacre twenty million people and to keep other entities from using SI technology for questionable purposes. They also came up with a way to keep Steve, Natasha, and Maria Hill from being tortured in a cave by the NSA. Actually, we didn’t start working on the Maria situation until after she found me in Steve’s hospital room and only then because she blackmailed me.”

 

“She blackmailed you? What could she have on you that the press doesn’t?” Phil scoffed.

 

“The old SHIELD’s surveillance made the paparazzi look like amateurs by comparison.” Tony’s words made Phil remember looking over his own file with Skye and realizing that an organization he had given his whole life to (literally) was observing his every move and knew things about him that even Melinda didn’t know. It was disconcerting and he knew that this new Shield could never become that. “I hope SHIELD 2.0 is not planning on monitoring my sex life.”

 

“That will not happen mostly because I don’t want to analyze the data.” He joked. “Besides, why do I need surveillance on you when you will tell me everything I don’t want to know?”

 

“Because I’m just that interesting,” Stark joked before starting his story again.

 

* * *

**6 weeks earlier**

It only took 5 hours to reach the Georgetown hospital where Steve was being treated mostly because Tony broke every single traffic law between New Jersey and the District of Insanity. Maria Hill was kind enough to send Tony a pair of text messages during their drive. The first was about finding Steve and his being taken to the hospital. The second was Steve undergoing surgery to remove several bullets from his abdomen.

 

By the time they do get there, the place is covered with FBI and every other law enforcement agency in the DC Metro of which there are dozens. This makes sense because the district was in complete chaos. The air smelled of ash and dust. The Metro was shut down due to the fact that a large portion of Triskelion was currently resting on the Blue Line. People were wandering the streets confused trying to get home. There were dozens of abandoned cars in the street. Tony and Pepper ended up walking the last 4 blocks to the hospital. The whole thing reminded him too much of Manhattan post invasion. It was almost enough to induce a panic attack, but not quite.

 

Tony would have liked to believe the reason why he was allowed into the Georgetown University Medical Center was SI was partnering with the hospital to develop new bloodless surgery techniques. More likely, it was the fact that Pepper had a minimally treated gunshot wound to the left shoulder. She was currently downstairs being lectured loudly by an angry doctor about waiting 5 hours to receive medical attention.

 

Tony was thankful for that research investment at the moment because Steve wasn’t exactly compatible with normal human blood, therefore stopping the bleeding and restoring volume was the most crucial thing. The techniques that they were developing probably saved Steve’s life.

 

But he didn’t think about that as he saw Steve’s unconscious body lying in the bed. The best of Marvin Gaye was playing in the background, drowning out the sound of that equipment monitoring Steve’s vital signs. Yet at that moment no one else was there. Tony was thankful for a bit of privacy.

 

“Do you know how much of a fucking bastard you are?” He all but yelled at Steve who didn’t move. Tony walked towards the bed and continued his diatribe at a more reasonable volume. “First, you leave in the middle of the night after what was one of the better sexual experiences of my life and considering how much experience I have you should take that as a damn complement. You have the refractory period of a teenager and are very flexible for someone your size.” He joked as he grabbed Steve’s hand.

 

Tony leaned over and whispered, “You didn’t even wake me up with a kiss, let alone a blow job which would’ve been proper etiquette, especially with a mouth like yours. It’s like you don’t even need to breathe. It was so easy for you to take all of me.” There was still no reaction from Steve. Tony had hoped a little dirty talk would do something. He was frustrated enough that one tear rolled down his cheek.

 

Straightening back up Tony continues, “I wake up to a note promising coffee and that you would come back. But you didn’t come back. Instead, you manage to get yourself shot in the damn stomach and nearly drown in the Potomac and I still haven’t got my damn coffee you fucking asshole.” He was actually crying at this point as a cup of coffee was placed in his hand.

 

“It’s decaf. I don’t think you need caffeine right now.” Surprisingly, it wasn’t Pepper, but Hill.

 

“I always need caffeine. How do I know this isn’t poisoned?” He asked without looking at her. “I’ve already been shot at multiple times today by various SHYDRA plants at SI. At this point, the only SHIELD agent I actually trust is buried a few miles away in Arlington and I don’t mean Nikki. I’m almost happy Agent Agent didn’t live to see this.”

 

“If I wanted you dead, you’d be dead right now.” Hill said without inflection and Tony completely believed her. “Besides, if I was planning to poison you, I would’ve had one of the nurses give you the coffee.” She then sat down in the other chair across from him.

 

“Probably ‘Nurse Kate’;” He actually made finger quotes when saying the woman’s name. “She absolutely hates me. I had to suffer her wrath when she caught me sneaking out of Steve’s apartment Monday morning. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if she turned out to be Hydra or at the very least tries to kill me.” Tony absolutely loathes the woman, so he would enjoy an excuse to actually fight her.

 

“Because she caught you cheating on your girlfriend, with her great aunt’s sort of ex-boyfriend.” Tony didn’t even bother to act surprised that the late director would do something like that.

 

“Okay, first of all, the fact that she has a crush on Steve is just disturbing. That’s almost Freudian.” Tony shivered.

 

“Second, it really wasn’t cheating. Apparently, Pepper and I had an open relationship because she didn’t trust me not to sleep with other people, not that she ever told me that. That should be a reason right there to…”

 

“Because you did sleep with somebody else,” Hill cut him off.

 

“You can’t actually prove that,” Tony told her defensively. That’s when Hill placed an inferior tablet in front of his face. On the screen was surprisingly clear surveillance footage from Steve’s apartment of the man literally fucking Tony into the mattress.

 

Tony’s mind instantly went back to that night. He could still feel Steve’s sweat soaked body on top of his. Every single muscle pressed against him. He remembered the feel of fingernails digging into his hips, the scrape of blunt teeth against his neck and the feel of Steve inside of him.

 

Even someone without an extreme intimate knowledge of Steve would instantly recognize that it was him because nobody else has a body like that. In Tony’s case, his photographic memory held onto a perfect image of every piece of skin. It was something he could hold onto in the loneliness that would follow the inevitable ending of their friendship. However, you couldn’t exactly tell it was Tony underneath Steve, because he was face down that time. Did he mention Steve has the refractory period of a teenager?

 

He grabs the offered ear buds to hear what was going on (again of inferior quality). Because it is SHIELD, this particular bit of voyeurism porn has an audio track and from that you could tell it was him. The audio was essentially a litany of ‘fuck’, ‘harder’ and ‘I love your cock’ along with Tony chanting Steve’s name repeatedly.

 

“Thankfully, for you, the late director decided it was best that this be purged from SHIELD records five days before we had no choice but to air all of the agency’s dirty laundry, along with other pieces of surveillance that may be…”

 

“Use to blackmail Captain America into doing whatever you want.” Tony finished for her. At that moment, Tony is thankful for Nikki’s paranoia, because if Pepper found out about it from that, he probably would have arrived in DC with his own bullet wound.

 

“Instead, you’re using it on me or at least trying to. I don’t negotiate with terrorists and according to Fox News that’s what you are right now. Besides, Pepper already knows about what happened and honestly, this is not my first sex tape. My PR department has a contingency plan for this situation.” The new head of SI PR believed in being prepared for any possibility despite the fact that this scenario had been highly unlikely in recent years.

“Yes, but Steve doesn’t and honestly you can barely tell that is you in the tape. People are already questioning what he did today. Some are calling him a patriot; others consider him another one of those shield terrorists.” Hill said poignantly.

 

“That’s mostly Fox news.” Tony quipped.

 

“Imagine what would happen if a Captain America sex tape is released - a gay sex tape of the non-vanilla variety.” Sadly, Tony had to acknowledged that even in 2014 homosexuality still bothers a portion of the world and it would give certain countries that will remain nameless another reason to hate Steve. If nothing else, Steve deserved the right to come out on his own terms, not Maria Hill’s. “Who knew Captain America was into au… ”

 

“What do you want?” He asked roughly because he cares too much about Steve to let him be hurt like this.

 

“I expect the NSA, CIA, Special Forces, and/or the FBI to show up any minute to take me and probably Natasha to someplace that will make Gitmo seem like a Caribbean resort.” At that moment he wanted to ask about Natasha’s whereabouts, but common sense told him that it wasn’t safe for her to be here. There was also a good chance that she was already in somebody’s custody. He just hoped that she had enough sense to call the SI lawyers.

 

“You want protection?” He asked not surprised at all.

 

“I want a job and your protection. You wanted to privatize world peace and I want to help you. Besides, you’re the only one I know that has enough power to keep me…”

 

“From being tortured in a cave in Afghanistan.” Tony supplied for her. “I’ve been through that one. It’s not fun, especially the drowning. I still don’t like baths. Although how do I know you’re not Hydra. You just blackmailed me with a sex tape.”

 

“Because if I was Hydra, that tape would already be all over the Internet, or at the very least, I would have approached Pepper first. I also would’ve asked for something more than a job.” Hill explained.

 

“Good point. The lawyers are already trying to find a way to save me, Natasha and Steve from the joy of water boarding. We can add you to their workload. But you’re taking a polygraph.” Tony added that stipulation because he was really tired of his employees trying to kill him. Actually, he may have HR give everybody polygraphs.

 

“Of course, you’re already trying to protect Steve.” Hill rolled her eyes. “Fine, I’ll take the test.”

 

“Not when I should have.” Tony mumbled sadly.

 

“You didn’t just sleep with Steve because it was the easiest way out of your relationship with Pepper, did you? You actually care about him.” Hill asked looking at him strangely. Do people really think that little of him?

 

“I should’ve been here. He needed me and I was hiding in my lab like a fucking…” Tony was nearly in tears again and that was strange for him because he doesn’t cry, at least not in front of other people who could use it against him.

 

“Sleepers at SI probably would have killed you the moment you tried to leave the building or at the very least try to. I know they actually did and things were almost over at that point.” She said trying to make him feel better, but it didn’t help. “We called in another special team and they never got here. Agent May is probably dead. I don’t think Steve would be happy if we lost you as well.”

 

“You are talking about Steve’s ninja neighbor? The one before the descendent of girlfriend’s past moved in next door.”

 

“I guess you already knew.” Hill sighed.

 

“I set up a way for her to email him securely while she was on her new assignment.” Tony said just before losing consciousness.

 

* * *

**The Present**

“I can’t believe she actually use surveillance footage of you and Captain Rogers having sex to save herself. We were being hunted by Talbot and she screwed the rest of us over to save her own-how selfish-I can’t-this is why…” Director Agent is so angry he’s not even making sense anymore.

 

“Deep breathe Director.” Tony said trying to calm Coulson down. “There’s a reason why the pirate put you in charge of rebuilding an organization to protect the world from the crazy things that go bump in the night. And FYI, Hill is currently in New York making excuses to the board about why I’m missing whatever else I’m supposed to be doing right now.” The man in front of him stopped spluttering at that point.

 

“You care, Coulson, even when other people don’t, even when it’s in your own best interest not to. We push you away; you keep trying. You can still see the good in a self-absorbed playboy or a lost soul who screwed over the first people who showed him anything other than abuse and contempt. You have protected me from myself more times than I care to remember. Your ability to actually give a fuck when others don’t is your superpower. It’s what you do Director Agent.” He told Phil honestly.

 

“That doesn’t make what she did right.” Coulson complained.

 

“There’s no such thing as right with people like her, which is another reason why you’re the one putting Humpty Dumpty the agency back together again. Besides, working with me is its own special punishment, although Pepper is really her boss. Actually, Steve is her direct superior, so you know that she’s not going to be able to get away with a lot. For her penance, Pepper and I are using her as an intermediary between us. We are even playing up the post breakup awkwardness just to make it worse.” Tony said trying to placate Coulson.

 

“There were days when I saw it that way.” Coulson quipped.

 

“Also, you don’t have to worry about Talbot, even if you didn’t save the lives of most of the top U.S. military brass from the real Hydra. Definitely earning your Avenger title there.” Tony quipped. “The guy is currently being “held” for invading another country.” Tony smirked.

 

“What did you do?” Agent director almost sounded worried.

 

“Just a little international diplomacy. After Hill’s Canadian “adventure” where she knocked out a US general so you two could rescue the princess/hacker, to save her ass or as I like to think of it save your ass and keep Steve’s naked ass from being on the Internet, I may have tried to get the Canadians to hate me less by letting them know about Talbot’s occupation. Talbot will be lucky if he gets to resign in disgrace, Department H has a new secret base which they will personally thank you for. You have a meeting with their Deputy Director sometime in the next week. And SI has a lot of meetings in Canada next month regarding arc reactor technology. Really, it’s a win-win for everybody.”

 

“Am I supposed to thank you or should I ask why Canada hated you in the first place?” Coulson asked.

 

“You should, but I did it mostly for Bruce so he doesn’t have to worry about the bastard anymore. Also, I’m really glad I already knew that you weren’t dead before the ass hole called up demanding both your’s and Hill’s heads on a platter, otherwise he would have the government freeze all SI assets.” That was not a fun phone call. Actually, Tony was in the middle of enjoying the effect of super soldier serum on throat muscles when he and Steve were rudely interrupted (and Steve being the absolute Boy Scout that he is made Tony take the damn call, even though he was barely thirty seconds from cumming).

 

“That sounds like something he would do.” Coulson remarked.

 

“Unfortunately, that was how Pepper found out that you’re no longer dead.” That’s when Director Agent poured himself another drink.

 

“Pepper is not happy. You have lunch with her Friday. Expect another loud, angry conversation and Agent Scary already promised that you’d be there. Let’s just say she took the Steve thing better.”

 

He’s not even kidding about that. He got yelled at for a solid 20 minutes for not telling her. Apparently, the fact that he was trying to give her some space was not considered an adequate reason for not calling her immediately after he found out. Okay, she may have said something along the lines of “getting your brains or other appendages blown by Captain America is no excuse for not telling me something like this immediately.”

 

“Am I ever going to be forgiven for that?”

 

“Not anytime soon, Director Agent.” Tony said bitterly. “But it’s not like Pepper and I were the last people to find out about your Lazarus routine. According to Hill, there is a woman in Portland who still doesn’t know.”

 

“Maria Hill has a big mouth.” Coulson said slightly annoyed.

 

“That came out when she was trying to explain why she didn’t tell us about you being alive.” The director just shook his head. Tony decided it was best not to tell Coulson what else Maria told them. Let’s just say that if Tony runs into Director Coulson’s predecessor, there won’t be anything fake about his death anymore.

 

“Of course, she would use me to save herself, again. It’s what Hill does. Why am I not-- I will tell Audrey eventually, it’s just – well, here you are - not exactly having a hard time accepting that I’ve magically come back from the dead. You have pizza nights with super soldiers and argue with aliens. It’s not exactly easy to explain what happened to somebody…”

 

“Who is a civilian?” Tony supplied for him. “I get it. At least Pepper was somewhat initiated in my world, but anyone else would have been a disaster. Even then it still wasn’t enough. Her not accepting my world completely was the number one reason for our breakup. We live in interesting times. Right now, I’m dating someone who is old enough to be my father, but almost looks young enough to be my son, if I had done something stupid in college, because Steve survived being frozen in ice for nearly 7 decades. But the sex is good, so I don’t care if I have to explain 50% of my pop-culture references. Even then, I find some of this stuff weird.”

 

“I really don’t need any additional details about your sex life, especially with Capt. Rogers.”

 

“At this point, I think you have earned first name privileges.” For half a second Phil seems very sad.

 

“Okay, I don’t want to know what you’re doing with Steve. The description of the tape was enough. Wait, how did you even find out that I was no longer dead? I had Skye purposely…” Coulson started but Tony interrupted him.

 

“That’s what I’m trying to explain.” Tony said slightly annoyed. “You let me believe that you were dead for 2 years, so you can sit through this story. Where was I?”

 

“You were just knocked unconscious.” Coulson sighed.

 

“By Black Widow. Obviously, she wasn’t happy. She’s friends with Pepper and considers herself Steve’s personal bodyguard since your beautiful warrior left to babysit you or whatever.”

 

“She’s not my — just tell me your story and keep May out of this.” Coulson told him defensively. Tony smirked at that.

 

“But she’s the most important part of the story. Also, I’m pretty sure she’s yours. I did mention earlier that I knew that she was an agent from seeing her throw a tantrum at your funeral?” Tony asked.

 

“Okay, now I know you’re just making this up because she doesn’t throw tantrums.” Director Agent scoffed. Tony just looked at him sadly, because obviously the man didn’t remember the truth. He was already thinking of the worst jobs possible to give Hill for what she did.

 

“But she would for you.” There was Coulson’s ‘I don’t believe you’ face again. “She’s one of those friends. Natasha’s like that although I don’t think she wants to sleep with Steve, I hope. There was this one kiss at Pentagon City, but they were trying not to get killed at the time.”

 

“Stark!”

 

“After coming to, Natasha and Hill convinced me it was best to give Steve some space and let him contact me.” They “threatened” him with extreme bodily harm, but Phil doesn’t need to know that.

 

“She kicked you in the genitals?” But apparently he knew anyway.

 

“Among other places, but she didn’t threatened me with a Taser because that’s our thing.” Tony smirked.

 

“Of course,” Coulson remarked dryly.

 

“Also, instead of letting Steve know that I was there once he finally woke up like we agreed in exchange for my leaving, Pepper’s self-appointed assassin/BFF decided to set him up with undercover Barbie again. Actually that was the point of her throwing random girls at him. She saw what was happening between me and him and was trying to ‘distract him’. Although, since she actually knew what was going on with us, she should have at least tossed a couple of nice guys at him as well. I’m sure Agent Carter had a great-nephew or something.” That part was more mumbled to himself than anything else.

 

“Grandson, actually,” Colson corrected. “He was the one who tried to shoot you when you drop by my secret base. He goes by his stepfather’s last name because some people want to be known for something other than their lineage.”

                                                                                     

“I already like him better than undercover Barbie.” Tony quipped.

 

“I purposely changed all the access codes to prevent this from happening again.” Colson practically growls.

 

“Apparently, my biometrics are in the system. Also, your hacker and my AI are besties now.” No need to explain to Director Agent how that happened. “Needless to say, Maria Hill has lost her favorite blackmail material.”

 

“What did I do to deserve this?” Phil mumbled to himself.

 

“You died and forgot to tell me that you were not dead anymore,” Tony said annoyed. “I thought we were friends?”

 

“We are. Although, I don’t know how this relationship started.” Coulson closed his eyes and shook his head as he mumbled the last part.

 

“You were the one who wanted to debrief me so badly and that’s exactly what we’re doing.” Director Agent doesn’t even say a word; he just gives Tony a strange look.

 

“So after surviving Natasha’s vengeance for sleeping with Steve before technically breaking up with Pepper, I endured a CIA debriefing, a NSA debriefing, a FBI debriefing and two congressional hearings. Congress makes the SI Board of Directors seem pleasant by comparison and I still have to deal with them for the Hill thing if nothing else. I also had to deal with the Smithsonian being really angry that Steve “borrowed” his original uniform, the backup version, when I was the one who donated it to them in the first place. Although, the worst was being grilled by Mia Barnett, the PR goddess of SI.” Tony is actually terrified of the PR goddess and that was before he had to tell her about the Steve thing and the sex tape blackmail.

 

“That you probably never listen to.” Phil quipped. “I don’t remember a Mia in PR.”

 

“Mia, the PR goddess, came on board after your not-a-death and me getting my house blown up in Malibu. Actually, she was brought in to deal with that entire mess. At least her cue cards contain stories that are halfway believable. Seriously, bodyguard?” Phil did not even bother to respond.

 

“So anyway, after the PR goddess decided it would be good to use mine and Pepper’s breakup to distract the public from Hill’s congressional testimony, I pretty much gave up hope of Steve actually showing up at my door. I assumed that he finally figured out that I am too much of an ass for him to have a relationship with.” It’s probably best not to tell Coulson that he was too terrified to actually call Steve himself and not just because of Natasha’s threats.

 

“You did cheat on your last girlfriend.” Coulson said pointedly.

 

“Hey, this is my story.”

 

* * *

**Five weeks earlier**

**Stark house: Arlington Ridge**

**Arlington, Virginia**

 

“It actually worked.” Tony told his AI as he scanned the various news channels. Everybody was now talking about the demise of his romantic relationship with Pepper instead of the entireSHIELDfiasco. The current theories regarding the demise of their relationship included Tony leaving Pepper for a Brazilian supermodel and Pepper leaving him for a lot of different people including every single Avenger, even Natasha. Well, every single living Avenger anyway. Tony could see Phil being her type, unfortunately, he wasn’t exactly available.

 

“Hey, JARVIS, is it too early to start setting Pepper up with other people? Thanks to that new medication he created, Bruce can now have sex again. He would be better for her than me.” He’s pretty sure Bruce would at least talk about what was going on before running off to hide.

 

“Sir, I believe it is customary to wait at least ninety days before finding your ex-girlfriend new companionship.”

 

“You make it sound so cold, J.” He told the AI before returning his attention back to the screens in front of him.

 

Normally, Tony hated for the media to speculate about his love life, but he was happy they were all focused on something other than the fact that his technology was used in a major terrorist plot. He was actually happy everybody was talking about how he screwed things up with Pepper, everyone except Fox News. They were busy arguing that he had been in bed with Hydra all along and arranged to have his own father killed so he could take over the company. Apparently, he also faked his own kidnapping and the arc reactor that had kept him alive for many years was just some fake ‘accessory’. In addition, he manufactured all the climate change data to increase SI profit margins.

 

Just as he was about to turn back to the channel that was convinced Pepper had dumped him for Steve, which was so absurd it made him laugh, he was knocked to the ground by Steve’s former neighbor/sex buddy May Phillips, a.k.a. Melinda May.

 

Oh, he knew all about that ‘non-relationship’. He’d actually walked in on the couple once. One of their sparring matches turned pornographic and unfortunately there was no AI in Steve’s prehistoric building to warn him about that sort of thing.

 

Looking back on that situation now, Tony wishing he was a participant probably marked the beginning of the end of things with Pepper. Also, as soon as there is not a foot holding him down, Tony is going to have to check to see if Ms. Hill has that piece of footage as part of her blackmail porn collection. He wanted to get rid of those files but Mia told him not to, at least not directly. He was currently trying to find somebody with his skill set and a strong working knowledge of SHIELDsystems to take care of the problem for him.

 

“How did you get in here without JARVIS alerting me?” He asked the woman who now had a foot on his chest. That was still a very sensitive area for him. She was also pointing a gun right at him.

 

“SHIELD had a way to get into all of your properties without being detected. This one in particular since it used to belong to former Director Howard Stark. There’s an old entrance in your basement that you want to look into.” She smirked but it came out more like a frown.

 

“Don’t you mean Hydra?” He asked and her response was to press harder. Okay, he forgot she doesn’t like jokes, unless they’re coming from her Stevie Bear.

 

“I’m not Hydra. If I were, you would be dead right now. This is a nonlethal weapon.” That’s when he recognized the weapon with its ridiculous name ‘Naptime Gun’ or whatever. Steve ‘let’ him play around with his. “Also I wouldn’t have bothered to remove the backdoor that SHIELDput in your security system or let you know about your father’s secret passageway which might allow someone with less altruistic motives to get in here.” At that point, she removed her foot from his chest and actually helped him up. However, she still kept her weapon on him.

 

“I’m pretty sure I heard this argument from Hill a couple of days ago.” He decided it was in his best interest to keep her talking. The Arlington police would be here within five minutes anyway and if that wasn’t soon enough, he always had plan B.

 

“I’m trying to find Maria Hill,” Agent Scary started to explain. “I need her to help a mutual friend of ours. But if you prefer, we can talk about the fact that you screwed my friend 2 weeks ago and haven’t called him since.”

 

“I think Hydra would have been preferable. The Team Steve people want me dead just as badly right now. Steve’s friends are scary.” He rubbed his chest where her foot was moments earlier. “Have you talked with Steve recently? It seems like you know what happened.”

 

“You slept with him, he ran away and you have been hiding in various locations since.” She summarized, weapon now at her side.

 

“You also forgot about multiple assassination attempts, Steve almost dying, and your agency imploding around you. Also, as you said he ran away from me and I did try to see him when he was at GUMC, but I was banned from contacting him until he’s ready by your younger, but equally scary counterpart.”

 

“Considering her skill set, Widow figured this would keep you away from him, but she’s unaware of Steve’s history. Steve comes from a time when men, especially of your station, would use him to get off and then go back to their wife or girlfriend.” Until she mentioned it Tony forgot about the stories of Steve’s pre-super soldier sexual encounters. He wouldn’t see Tony giving him space as being considerate, but as a reminder of what happened in the 40s.

 

“Steve won’t see the lack of phone calls as a good thing. You have to make the first mo--I don’t have time for this. I’m sure the cops will be here in two minutes.” She mumbled to herself.

 

“Actually, it will be 16.4 minutes. The Arlington police force is somewhat overwhelmed by recent events.” I.e. they’re the ones who are dealing with the smoking crater of ash that was theTriskelion.

“You didn’t need to tell her that.” He hissed at the AI.

 

“I need to know where Maria is because… Phil Coulson isn’t dead and I’m trying to make sure it wasn’t Hydra that brought him back. If you care about him at all, you will help me find your newest employee because she may be the only one left alive who knows what really happened to Phil.”

 

That’s when Tony used plan B to knock her unconscious before she could pull her night-night gun or whatever. Plan B was a grenade shaped like a knickknack that contains the same Dendrotoxin as her gun. He decided to modify it after spending some time with Steve’s version of the gun making it less noticeable for situations like this.

 

“Not Hydra, just delusional. If you were going to have a nervous breakdown, this would be the time to do it.” Tony said, checking on the unconscious body in the middle of his living room.

 

“Cancel the cops. Tell them it was a false alarm or something. Maybe call Doctor-- do I have a DC shrink?” Tony asked Jarvis.

 

“Doctor Suarez, formally of SHIELD, but she resigned nine months ago. She is currently Captain Rogers’ personal psychologist.” Who Steve never goes to, but the AI doesn’t say that part out loud.

 

“Call her and explain what’s going on.” Tony sighed.

 

“Done, sir.” Jarvis affirmed. “Should I contact Captain Rogers?”

 

“No. I really don’t want the first time we speak to each other in two weeks to be about his ex-girlfriend or whatever losing it over Agent Agent.”

 

To be continued


	3. A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to Find Maria Hill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everybody who read or review the last chapter. I am really sorry for the long time between updates. First, I went back and wrote a sort of prequel to the story called Lie Detector Confessions of a Reluctant Legacy. It’s mostly a gen story where the only pairings are Peggy Carter/Gabe Jones and Antoine Triplett/OMC, but it does give a lot of background for things that will happen in this story and the possible next story in the series.
> 
> After I wrote that short story, my computer got sick. Okay, it accidentally fell off my desk. I took it into the shop on June 23 and I was supposed to get it back on July 8 (Director Coulson’s cannon birthday). The geek squad determined on the 12th that my computer was too broken to be fixed and I got a replacement computer which I’m currently trying to reconfigure. 
> 
> For a lot of my other stories, I've been writing the chapters on my iPhone and just proofreading at work, but that didn’t work for the style of this story. I tried, but I gave up. Thankfully, about 20 minutes later they called me and told me my computer was being replaced.
> 
> I don’t cover as much material in this chapter as I hoped to, but I wanted to get something out as soon as possible (and the chapter was so long at that point that I was starting to get a sore throat). On the bright side, that means this story will probably be five or six chapters. I still hope to be done before September 23.

"Is anybody else worried about AC being alone with Iron Man on the bus?" Skye asked looking up from her laptop. Trip was half convinced she was trying to break into the bus’ surveillance system so she could keep an eye on Director Coulson. Nope, it wouldn’t surprise him at all. Skye was very protective of the director.

 

Actually, everyone on this team was very protective of every other member of it. It was a big departure from before (except when he was running ops with his cousin Sharon). He had cared about his former partner, but unknown to him, he had been working with a man who had no trouble murdering his underlings. The agents of the Playground seemed more like family than anything else.

 

Skye brought food or protein shakes to Simmons when she got too engrossed in her work while trying to figure out a way to help Agent Fitz. The engineer has been in a coma for the last three weeks after essentially saving Jemma’s life when Ward tried to kill both of them. Simmons current behavior reminded him way too much of his Grandmother Peggy’s actions in the weeks after his grandfather died. Trip had a feeling that something big happened between the two when they were stranded at the bottom of the ocean, but Jemma refuses to talk about it. Nobody will push, not even Skye.

 

Many times he has seen Skye just sit there in the Playground’s lab with laptop in hand just listening to Simmons’ latest theory on how to help their friend (even when Jemma was pretending she wasn’t on the verge of tears). He would often do the exact same thing.

 

But it wasn’t just Skye, once or twice he has seen Agent May doing tai chi as Director Coulson reads files aloud in the background. She has always been his sounding board. Actually, Trip is almost positive she is the de facto deputy director at this point.

 

Because there wasn’t anything for him to punch at the moment, he helped Skye mine the SHIELD files dumped on the Internet for useful things (as well as some files that Maria Hill had on the Stark servers that only Agent May knew about). He didn’t have her computer skills, but he was good at analyzing data (unless it involves coming to the conclusion that you’re working for a psychopath, who is killing off your friends). Although they were no longer on the FBI most wanted list, they didn’t have the resources to run around the globe taking care of the problems on their own at the moment. Therefore, any good Intel was forwarded to their CIA contact also known as is Aunt Marcy Carter-Jones.

 

They were not just using her because she was family, but because she would take intel about an attacker with lion paws for hands seriously. Anybody who grows up Carter-Jones was well aware that there are stranger things in the universe than their grandmother’s wartime boyfriend practically being his age due to accidental cryogenic freezing and that was before the alien invasion.

 

Trip and Agent May have been training Skye to make sure she can defend herself against threats like Ward. Even though the man was currently housed in a highly classified government detention facility, there were plenty of other hostile agents just like him. It only took Trip a couple of days to realize that Agent May running you through her training routine was her way of showing you that she actually cared.

 

Director Coulson asked Trip to accompany him when he went to interrogate their former colleague Ward for any useful Intel. When he first joined the team, Trip would have assumed he was invited because the director was worried that if Agent May went they would not get anything useful before she killed him. Trip realizes now the true reason is that the director wants to spare the rest of the team from facing the man who betrayed them all in one of the most painful ways possible.

 

The first interview was not that productive mostly because Ward’s larynx was still healing. They really didn't get anything useful unless Hydra is using a bakery and a daycare next to a fertility clinic as cover for some nefarious scam, not even the location of Agent Hand’s body so they could return it to her wife.

 

Actually, the traitor mostly talked about how he manipulated the team in to trusting him. Trip is personally shocked that Colson did not start breaking Ward’s fingers when the man started mentioning things like only saving Simmons life to get the team to trust him or the only reason why he slept with May was to keep her from realizing his true intentions. Trip never saw a man so close to killing someone, but not doing so when Ward confessed to using being under Asgardian mind control as an excuse to kill Agent May.

 

Director Coulson never physically attacked him at all. Trip and everyone else there would have looked the other way if he had, but it never happened. However, Trip was sure the director wanted to. Trip wanted to but his conscience, which sounded a lot like his grandmother at that moment, kept him from doing so by reminding him the guy wasn’t worth that type of reaction.

 

Even though he was the new person on the team, he knew that this protective spirit also extended to him. When Agent Billy Koenig used the excuse of “orientation” to ask too many personal questions about his grandmother, former SHIELD Director and co-founder Peggy Carter-Jones, Coulson stopped the interview. The director also had Skye looking into the highly classified files regarding Trip’s conception that may or may not have been a conspiracy to oust his grandmother and replace her with Alexander Pierce. However, for some reason that particular level 10 file never found its way to the Internet.

 

So considering the type of bond that he has with the team, he’s not shocked that he is now sitting around with Skye and Simmons talking about their unexpected visitor. No one was surprised or upset even that he shot at the Iron Man armor before it was confirmed that the person inside it was actually Tony Stark and not some Hydra agent in a knockoff suit.

 

“Director Coulson will be fine. Besides May searched both of them before they even walked into his office on the bus and she let the director keep his ICER.” Trip told Skye only semi-joking.

 

“A little less than an hour ago you were aiming your gun at him.” Skye pouted.

 

"An hour ago, I was under the impression that all the official Iron Man suits were destroyed. Hydra had access to _all_ of SHIELD’s files. They used that information to build the centipede soldiers. I can completely see them trying to build another Iron Man. Something similar happened before and the senator pushing for it was Hydra.” Trip suggested.

 

“And it was a disaster.” Skye defended.

 

“But it wouldn’t have been if they had access to Dr. Stark’s files. They could’ve passed it off as a legitimate SHIELD project, especially after Dr. Stark chose to focus on other avenues of helping people.” It was the first time that Simmons had spoken since Tony Stark invaded their secret base. He wasn’t sure if her quietness was caused by the incident reminding her of what happened five weeks ago with General Talbot’s invasion or if it was related to her normal reaction after a teleconference with Agent Fitz’s doctor.

 

Agent Fitz was currently at GUMC under the alias Leo Fitzsimmons, a 28-year-old engineer at Stark Industries in their DC office. According to the cover, Fitz was in a coma after supposedly falling overboard from his boss’ boat while sailing along the Maryland shore. Only one doctor knew the truth and she was the one who called Simmons every other day. The reason why this doctor knew the truth was she’d spent her entire life around SHIELD. According to family legend, she had been born in the conference room of the old New York office. The reason why he knew about this family legend was because the doctor just happened to be his mom, Stephanie Triplett.

 

As of three weeks ago, she was the doctor in charge of overseeing Stark Industries partnership with Georgetown University Medical Center. She took the job after his accountant father was promoted to the head of SI accounting and moved out east. It turns out his predecessor was a Hydra spy who was recently discovered when the entire company was forced to go through polygraphs. His dad got the job because CEO Pepper Potts wanted to put someone in the position she actually trusted. They knew each other from their early days with the company, before Ms. Potts had become Stark’s assistant. Part of him thinks this may be some strange conspiracy orchestrated by unknown forces, but right now Trip is not going to question it because he feels better knowing that his mom is watching out for Fitz.

 

“I doubt that even SHIELD could have got the specs on those suits. If Tony Stark did not want the information to become public, it was never going to become public. I have hacked into Stark Industries and I’ve only got in because Stark’s AI wanted me to find the files that were too dangerous for the great SHIELD data dump like how Coulson is not dead and dispose of them properly.” Skye almost sounded impressed.

 

Trip saw some of those files which in his mind explains why Stark Industries is footing the bill for Fitz’s very expensive medical care. Maria Hill was very good at finding great blackmail material and apparently Trip used to work for a bunch of voyeuristic perverts. Skye convinced herself that Stark was cheating on his girlfriend with a Captain America look alike and Maria Hill happened to have video proof that Stark wanted gone, but for various reasons he couldn’t be the one to do it. So he used Skye and allowed his AI to help. Trip knew better about the Captain America look alike thing, but the rest of her theory was probably true. However, he wasn’t going to mention something that his grandfather told him in confidence when he was a scared 13-year-old who just realized he wasn’t into girls as much as the rest of the guys on the track team.

 

"That same AI is currently keeping me from hacking into the security feed. J, I thought we were friends.” Trip struggled not to smile; he was right about what she was up to.

 

"Why are you hacking the security feed?” He asked shaking his head. “I doubt Coulson is in any danger from a man who hugged him."

 

“Well, somebody who I thought was my friend turned out to be Hydra, so I’m going to hack into the security feed just to make sure Coulson is safe with a guy who can make..." Skye abruptly stopped speaking when she’s interrupted by a British voice coming from her computer.

 

"Ms. Poots, due to recent breaches of Mr. Stark’s privacy he has chosen to temporarily disable all security cameras in Director Coulson’s office.” So that was her real name. No wonder she went by just Skye.

 

From the many visits he’s made to his father’s office over the years, Trip instantly recognized the voice as belonging to the JARVIS OS that practically runs the place. He just wondered how the proprietary operating system found its way onto Skye’s laptop.

 

“J, I’ve told you not to call me that. It’s Skye, only Skye.” She chastised AI as if he were a person.

 

"Ms. Skye, Director Coulson is not in any immediate danger. Mr. Stark sees Director Coulson as a personal friend and does not wish him any harm. He has no allegiance to Hydra, especially in light of the fact that they arranged for the assassination of his parents. He just wants to spend time with someone he was led to believe was deceased for the last two years.” The AI said trying to reassure Skye.

 

"Mr. Jarvis has a point. Dr. Stark seemed genuinely happy to see Director Coulson." Jemma said almost wistfully probably wishing for her own reunion with Fitz.

 

It took Trip a little while to remember that Tony Stark had at least five doctorates and deserved that title even if according to company lore he only requires people who pissed him off to call him doctor. Of course, half the time he forgets that Jemma has a set of doctorates herself. He knows that she has a tendency to fall back on formalities when she stressed which is probably why the title came out.

 

"I know. I just worry sometimes. I still think Billy should’ve been allowed to put Iron Man through orientation.” Skye told the others with annoyance in her voice.

 

Billy had wanted to put Stark through “orientation” the moment Trip put his gun away, but Director Coulson quickly said no and took Stark to his office on the bus because he liked it better. Agent Koenig was most likely sulking in the control room since he wouldn't get a chance to ask a superhero embarrassing and very private personal questions. After Trip’s very uncomfortable second interview, Director Coulson banned Agent Koenig from overseeing anymore orientations.

 

“If you cannot trust an Avenger to not be Hydra, then who can you trust?" Jemma said with a sad smile.

 

“No one.” Trip whispered to himself.

 

“Maybe he’s not Hydra, but he could still be planning to turn us over to Col. Talbot or somebody like that. Maybe Stark is here to convince Coulson to leave us and take some cushy corporate job like what Hill did. If he went through ‘orientation’, we could know that.” Skye pouted again. Trip is pretty sure Coulson possibly abandoning her is what Skye is really afraid of.

 

“The military is no longer looking for us, so we don’t have to worry about that. I doubt even Tony Stark could convince Coulson to leave now; rebuilding SHIELD is the Director’s personal mission. Personally, I think you only want Stark to go through orientation because you want to listen in on the conversation.” He smiled at Skye.

 

“I’m not going to confirm or deny that.” Skye said looking down at her computer.

 

“Fitz would have loved to be here.” Simmons sighed. “He really admires Dr. Stark's work. Fitz read all his papers in college. Actually, I think the veneration began before then. His mom was at MIT through a foreign exchange program when Stark was an undergrad there. It was just a year or two before Fitz was born.”

 

Trip was chuckling to himself with that last sentence. It was another strange thing he and Agent Fitz had in common. Not only did neither know the identity of their birth father, but apparently both of their moms went to school with the future superhero only at different times. In his mom’s case it was first grade (before the Stark heir was sent to boarding school) because from a security standpoint it made sense for the kids of two of SHIELD’s top brass to be in the same school for easy protection. Of course, he just found out about that a couple weeks ago. Apparently, Trip gets his ability not to talk about this sort of thing from his mom.

 

“Leo’s mom spoke about him all the time. Those stories were part of the reason why Fitz became interested in engineering and weapon design even if that sort of stuff went over his then stepfather’s head. The creation of Iron Man was the reason why Fitz decided to go to the Academy instead of accepting a position at Hammer Industries.” Simmons said sadly as both Trip and Skye wrapped their arms around her.

 

"We’ll just have to tell Fitz all about it when he wakes up. After Stark is done with his conference with AC, we will take selfies just so we can Photoshop Fitz into the pictures. It will be great.” Skye said with almost genuine enthusiasm. Simmons just gave her a halfhearted smile.

 

"If he wakes up," Jemma mumbled under her breath, probably assuming that no one would hear her.

 

“Agent Fitz is a fighter," Trip said trying to reassure her, but all that did was caused her to pull out of his arms.

 

"Your mother has run dozens of tests and she still can’t figure out why he’s not waking up." It’s easy to tell by her voice that she was on the verge of tears.

 

At that moment, Agent May walked into the Playground’s community room speaking on a phone that looked more like a normal cell phone than the secure phones they’ve mostly been using since the fall of SHIELD. However, he knows the agent well enough to know that she would not jeopardize their safety.

 

"Do you know who she's calling?" Trip asked the other two.

 

“She said she was going to contact Dr. Stark’s “handler”. I am uncertain who that would be since his breakup with Ms. Potts." Jemma responded calmly as she tried to compose herself again.

 

"You're supposed to keep him from doing stuff like this. Half of my team wanted to blow him out of the sky." They heard May practically yell which was disconcerting in itself because Melinda May does not yell.

 

“It could be former Deputy Director Hill.” Trip suggested. “Technically, she does work for him now. I wouldn’t be surprised if she gave him access. Stark did get in here as easily as Talbot did.”

 

“The first thing AC had me do was remove her from the system.” Skye told him.

 

“He's your boyfriend. Your problem." They heard May tell the person on the other side of the phone.

 

“I really hope it's not Hill.” Skye mumbled to herself.

 

“It would explain why he helped her avoid detainment.” Simmons suggested as she finally started to drink the protein shake that Trip had brought her. She never really eats well after her phone call with his mother and it is even worse than usual today.

 

“Actually, I think he only helped her because he was being extorted.” Trip told the other two women.

 

“I know. That’s why I hope it’s not her.” Skye said with half a smile.

 

“And you didn't think to talk him out of this ridiculous scheme of his?” They heard May sigh. “He already has you by the balls.” Simmons started to choke at that moment.

 

“She probably just meant that metaphorically.” Trip suggested even though he knew better.

 

“Mr. Stark is not in a romantic relationship with Maria Hill.” They all exhaled simultaneously at the AI’s words. “Agent May is currently speaking to Captain Rogers, who is presently in route to this location with Director Coulson’s ‘I’m happy you’re no longer dead present.” If Trip wasn’t a trained specialist, he would have choked on his own drink when he came to the realization that his grandmother’s wartime boyfriend was now dating notorious playboy, Tony Stark. The video was one thing; it could be easily dismissed as just sex (Trip only watched about five seconds before he came to the conclusion that he was about to watch someone his grandmother may or may not have had sex with have sex with somebody else and quickly cut it off before anything beyond kissing happened). Even though Stark was just slightly younger than his mother, he would have no trouble sleeping with the man if an opportunity presented itself, but dating was different.

 

“Captain Rogers? You mean Captain America is coming here?” He watches as Skye starts fixing her hair at that moment. Actually so does Simmons, but he saw that as a good thing. Jemma has been neglecting basic things like eating and hygiene since they lost Fitz. If they didn’t make her drink the protein shakes they fixed or force other food on her, she would quickly starve.

 

“And you made smart comments about me going in to fan boy mode over my grandfather’s old gear.” Trip quipped.

 

“It’s Captain America.” Both girls said simultaneously as if it explained everything.

 

“According to what we just heard, Captain America is not available, so the primping is not necessary.” Trip decided not to point out that if Tony Stark was not involved he would have a better shot hooking up with Captain America (if you discount the ‘Ick’ factor related to the fact that the guy may or may not have had sex with his grandmother).

 

“Jarvis just…” That's when Skye started choking on her soda. “That means the video files are-- there was wall s-- she was on – handcuffs were – Captain America really is the dude.”

 

“You watched the video files in their entirety?” He asked while Simmons simultaneously asked, “Are you okay?”

 

“Not really. Why are all the non-bastard guys gay, completely in love with other people, or some combination of the two?” Trip wanted to make some snide comment about his former fiancé being both gay and a complete bastard, but he had a feeling Skye’s question was rhetorical. “Seriously, how did this happen?”

 

“Directly after the battle of New York then Director Fury assigned Agent May to look after Captain Rogers by posing as his neighbor May Phillips. She was also tasked with keeping Mr. Stark and Captain Rogers on amicable terms.” The Jarvis OS explained.

 

So that was who Fury got to take over Project Adjustment after Trip decided he preferred to run ops anywhere but DC after his engagement imploded post invasion of New York. The original plan was for him to help his grandparents’ friend adjust to 21st-century life by moving in to the apartment next door with his new husband, Robin. Director Fury referred to it as a honeymoon assignment and wedding present that would allow him to adapt to married life and keep him in close proximity to his ailing grandmother. Instead of a quiet wedding, aliens invaded New York and his fiancé called off the wedding because he went to fight them. Trip decided that he preferred punching things on assignment in South America with his cousin Sharon than spending one more moment in DC.

 

“That does not mean dating.” Skye shouted at the AI bringing Trip back to the conversation at hand.

 

“Agent May did not assist with that until five weeks ago when she arrived at the Stark Arlington Ridge estate in an effort to find Ms. Hill. Agent May needed her assistance to assure then Agent Coulson’s well-being and she felt that Mr. Stark would be able to provide this information. In exchange for this information, she assisted Mr. Stark with getting Captain Rogers to realize that his intentions were admirable.”

 

Considering everything he’s seen over the last six weeks, Trip is not surprised to learn that when he assumed May abandon the team, she actually left to find help for Coulson. Unfortunately, she chose the wrong person to turn to for help.

 

“Considering what happened, I don’t think that was a very good deal.” Trip mumbled to himself. Yes, she did help the team rescue Skye after she sold them all out to Talbot, but it’s hard for him to respect a person who probably used surveillance footage of someone having sex to save themselves from prosecution.

 

“I didn’t know she was going to turn Providence over to Talbot as part of her plan to help Coulson.” May said joining the conversation. “Why did you allow Stark to install Jarvis on your computer?”

 

“I didn’t have a choice if we wanted those files and I think I now know why you really wanted those files. Apparently, the thing with Ward really was a downgrade. Can we show that file to Ward on a loop with him chained to a wall?” There was a certain amount of reverence in Skye’s voice but May ignored the comment.

 

“Captain Rogers will be here in 10 minutes to help us with our Stark problem. Can you let him into the hanger?” She said turning to Skye.

 

“Sure, no problem, if you tell me exactly how you managed to hook up Iron Man and Captain America.”

 

“The AI already told you enough.” Agent May replied stoically. The three felt it was best to follow Agent May silently to the hangar area.

Xxxxxxxxx

**What really happened**

**Five weeks earlier**

 

The first thing Melinda May realized when she regained consciousness was the person who knocked her out didn't think to restrain her in some way. For a genius, Stark was an idiot. Most people who made that sort of mistake ended up dead, but she couldn’t kill Stark (without a good reason anyway) because for some reason Phil and Steve like him.

 

According to Steve’s most recent email, Steve liked Stark to the point where they’d slept together even though Stark had still technically been dating Pepper Potts at the time. Okay, Steve was in love with Tony, but she knew that before she left for the bus. Because of what happened, Steve was worried that the billionaire did not feel the same way. She was not. She saw the way Stark interacted with Steve and it was something other than friendship, it always has been. She’s just surprised it took them this long for the situation to explode. Naturally, their relationship just had to explode the same time SHIELD did.

 

She completely understands why she was knocked unconscious. She hadn’t believed Nick Fury when he came to her and told her that Phil was alive after his presumed death six months earlier. Actually, she thought he had completely lost it until he brought her to Phil’s apartment and saw him with her own eyes and wrapped her arms around him. Phil not being dead was too good to accept without physical proof.

 

It would seem Stark decided to knock her out because he was afraid she was having a psychotic break, if the conversation she is hearing right now is anything to go by. She’s not mad that he did it, she’s just upset that she was distracted enough to let Stark render her unconscious. May has known for a long time that her emotional attachment to Phil Coulson had led to her making questionable decisions that could be detrimental. Even though she’d slept with Ward*, during the Lorelei incident she realized she could kill him if she had to. She knew she couldn’t say the same about Phil. That’s why the second specialist had to be on board, in the event of a worst-case scenario.

 

That’s why she was absolutely terrified of the possibility that someone like Alexander Pierce could have programmed Phil to become a weapon. Melinda was too in love with Phil Coulson to pull the trigger, humanity be damned. However, the still recovering bullet wound in her shoulder was testament to the fact that he didn’t feel the same way.

 

Fortunately, Stark was starting to believe that she was not crazy because whoever he was speaking to was confirming the fact that Phil was alive. She has heard this voice, but cannot quite place it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t Maria. That would make things too easy.

 

Melinda should have just went with her mother’s contacts to get information on the former deputy director’s whereabouts, but once she saw the email from Steve, she knew she had a better option in Stark. But again she hadn’t expected the man to render her unconscious.

 

“I’ve always said that Nick Fury was a habitual liar. I should not be surprised at all that good old Nikki faked Agent Agent’s death to get his top secret superhero boy band to stop acting like preschoolers." Stark practically growled at the other person he was speaking to.

 

“I can’t tell you anything I learned from patient files; however, according to the level 7 and higher rumor mill, Agent Coulson died on the table at least twice, so tales of his death were not completely exaggerated." That’s when Melinda realized that the other person Stark was talking to was former SHIELD psychologist, Dr. Suarez. She was one of the least condescending psychologists at the Triskelion. Dr. Suarez defected to Stark Industries some time during May’s time on the bus.

 

“Well, considering the SHIELD rumor mill completely missed the fact that a good portion of their colleagues were Hydra agents, I really don’t put much stock in their intelligence.” Stark snarked at the doctor just as Melinda made her way into the other room only to see that Stark was communicating with her via video screen.

 

“So fine, Coulson died for a little while, but the pirate neglected to tell us that he got better. Patches could have said something about it once we sent Loki’s ass back to Asgard.” Stark complained.

 

'No, he couldn’t, because Phil was still in the morgue at that point.' Melinda thought to herself. Director Fury said that he didn’t tell her until December 2012 because it took a while to get Phil stable after what they did. She still wonders if that was the truth or if Fury had other motivations for not telling her. If he didn’t need her to look after Coulson would she be just as ignorant as Stark to the fact that Phil was back?

 

“It was touch and go for a while or so I heard.” The doctor said quietly.

 

“Fine, maybe not immediately after the battle but eventually. Instead we had a funeral that I paid for, including the property damage done by Agent Scarier. I picked out a tombstone complete with the epitaph ‘He saved the world a lot’. I’m a little upset that I buried my friend when I didn’t have to.” Stark practically screamed.

 

This wasn’t the first time that Melinda came to the conclusion that Fury’s decision to keep Phil’s resurrection a secret was detrimental to everybody who loved Phil. Fury said it was because he didn’t want to put Phil’s friends through the pain of losing him again if something went wrong. However, she personally felt that she would rather go through the pain of losing Phil again if she could just have a few more minutes with him. She would be perfectly fine with him hating her for the rest of his life as long as he was still alive to hate her.

 

“But what about you? You have been as Stark Industries employee for nine or 10 months now? Yet, you didn’t say a damn thing until today. Considering that Steve’s special friend is going after Maria, it’s obvious she knows about Phil’s Lazarus routine. Why didn’t she say anything? Especially in light of the fact that my lawyers are saving her ass from being tortured by the NSA. I had a fucking right to know that Agent was no longer dead.” Stark was shouting at this point.

 

“I was under orders not to. We were all under orders not to tell you.” That excuse seems so hollow from someone else especially in light of the fact that Stark was on the ‘You can tell in case of an emergency’ list Fury created in case something went wrong. In her mind SHIELD falling to pieces qualified. Stark was the only Avenger on the list probably because of his resources and the special skill set needed to help Phil. If her suspicions proved true, Stark may be the only one who could fix Phil if he needed it now that SHIELD was gone.

 

“That's why I left. Those types of orders were detrimental to my patients." May scoffed at that. She had a feeling there was more to it than that. Maybe Dr. Suarez figured out the Hydra truth before everyone else did.

 

Of course, if not wanting to lie anymore was the main reason why the doctor left, she was able to do something that Melinda could not. She hated lying to Phil, but she did it anyway. She justified it by telling herself that if she wasn’t there Director Fury would have just assign someone else who would not care about Phil at all. She was willing to risk his hatred just to keep him safe and now she was suffering the consequences by losing him--by losing his trust.

 

“If it was so fucking detrimental to your patients, why the hell didn’t you say anything when you arrived at SI?” Stark shouted at the woman.

 

“Do you think that SHIELD just lets their psychologists walk away? I know too many secrets. I’ve already been debriefed by the CIA and FBI since my former employer was blown to pieces and all their dirty laundry aired on the Internet. Fury wouldn’t let me leave unless I specifically agreed never to tell the Avengers that Agent Coulson is alive.”

 

“Yet, you’re telling me now.” Stark sounded somewhat annoyed. “Do you need my lawyers to save your ass as well?”

 

“No, I am telling you that Agent Melinda May is not suffering a disassociative episode due to the fact that Agent Phil Coulson is still alive.” The doctor said in her defense.

 

“I don’t buy that. Maybe you’re finally telling me the truth because SHIELD is gone and so is Fury.” Melinda personally believes that’s more likely. It’s the main reason why she’s here.

 

“I still have an oath to--You didn't restrain her?” At that moment Stark turns around to see her standing directly behind him. His mouth slowly lowered in shock.

 

"That was supposed to knock a woman her size out for an hour. It's only been..."

 

“14 minutes and 44 seconds, sir.” The computer answered without prompting.

 

“Great, I'm going to have to redo the formula.” The scientists mumbled under breath. He almost reminded her of Fitz in that moment.

 

"You have an assassin in your living room and you’re worried about...” The video feed is disconnected before the doctor can finish speaking.

 

“Great, Fury even placed plants in the SI therapist’s office." She just glared at Stark at that moment.

 

“So I guess I should apologize for assuming that you were having a psychotic break. Agent Agent is alive and Fury lied. I really shouldn’t be surprised.” Stark was visibly upset at that moment.

 

“You don’t apologize.” She remarked quietly.

 

“Yes, but I don’t want you to kill me and I have no protection since I’m still rebuilding the armor after having to blow up the last version when Hydra plants started coming out of the SI woodwork. I don’t know why I ever wanted to unretire.”

 

“Because you don’t want the person you’re in love with to be in danger without you by his side.” Melinda wasn’t sure she was talking about him or herself in that moment. “I’m not going to kill you. Steve would never forgive me.”

 

"So, you actually like Steve and you weren’t just fucking him on Fury’s orders?" She sighed, remembering that they had this conversation before she left to take her place on the bus.

 

"I’ve done a lot of questionable things following Fury’s orders, but that wasn’t one of them.” Lying about Tahiti was one of those orders that she wished she never followed, but sleeping with Steve was never part of any mission.

 

“I was lonely and so was Steve. The woman he thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with was now a 95-year-old widow with five children from two marriages and a grandson that was practically his age. Worst of all, most days she doesn’t remember him at all. We were both in a lot of pain and he reminded me a lot of Phil. Both of them are optimistic people who only wanted to help...” She cut herself off there because she did not want to be this vulnerable with a possible threat.

 

“Do you really think Fury could force me to have sex with anyone?” She finished with instead.

 

“You’d be amazed at what the Pirate can make someone do, but I don’t think that’s the case this time. Agent Agent wouldn’t hang out with a person like that." She smirks to herself at his words.

 

"About a year ago Phil convinced a hacker working for a cyber-terrorist group called the Rising Tide to become a SHIELD consultant."

 

"Agent always had a habit of seeing the best in people." May noticed that Stark was still using the past tense. Just like her, it will take Stark seeing for himself that Phil is alive before he’ll believe it.

 

"The other reason why you’re safe is I need you to find Maria. Like I told you before you rendered me unconscious, Phil is in trouble and Maria may be the only one who can help him."

 

"Why? How does Phil’s safety relate to finding her?" Stark asked somewhat calm.

 

"Fury didn’t lie to you. Loki…” she took a deep breath before continuing. “He did kill Phil on the helicarrier. However, SHIELD was experimenting with several drugs that were able to restore him.” She said giving Stark a simplified explanation of the procedures performed on Phil. “One of those procedures involved implanting false memories and rewiring his mind.”

 

Stark doesn’t need to know that the procedure was done to mitigate some of the possible side effects, not that she knew what all of those side effects were. Only Fury knew everything and he was either actually dead or completely off the grid and she would not believe the former until she saw the body.

 

"And you want to make sure he doesn’t become the Manchurian Agent?" Stark asked without her needing to explain more.

 

"Essentially."

 

"And how does this all relate to Maria?” Stark asked.

 

"She was there when they were reviving Phil.”

 

“While you were off babysitting Capsicle and acclimating him to this brave screwed up world? By the way, you are a great actress. I really did believe your broken hearted act. Steve really believed you." He said bitterly. His accusation annoyed her.

 

"Undercover work has never been my specialty. I didn’t know until December of that year. Fury kept me in the dark for six months.” Melinda confessed. “I destroyed a room at the funeral home because Alexander Pierce had the audacity to come to Phil’s funeral and shake my hand and tell me that his death was for the greater good.” The memory made her sick and worried. Did he screw around with Phil’s brain?

 

“Considering that the man was Hydra, I’m sure he would think Agent Agent’s death was for the greater good. Agent Agent would fight him with his-- you actually think that he…”

 

"I don’t know. The only person Director Fury took orders from was Alexander Pierce. I have to know if he had anything to do with Phil’s resurrection. If Phil is your friend, you will help me protect him.”

 

"You could bring him here? I have all sorts of resources. SI is already funding most of GUMC. I’m sure I can find a neurologist that specializes in the paranormal. Actually, I think one of Pepper’s friends has a wife that…” He said before she cuts him off.

 

"He doesn’t trust me right now because he found out I lied to him regarding how Fury brought him back from the dead. He would not come with me, but maybe Maria could bring him here.” As far as she knew, Maria Hill was somebody that Phil still trusted. “If you help me find Maria, I can get Steve here to speak with you." She offered because it was her one bargaining chip and she didn’t want Steve as miserable as she was right now.

 

"Will this plan of yours involved kidnapping?” Stark deadpanned.

 

"If you will provide me with another one of your secure phones with access to my special email account just for Steve, I will send him an email that will convince him that not only are you serious about him, but you actually care about him and he should just swallow his pride and come see you."

 

"Like that’s going to work. If Steve actually liked me as more than a friend, don’t you think he would’ve shown up by now? Actually, I would be perfectly willing to have what you and he had going on as long as there was still sex and Steve would call me every once in a while. Also what happened to your phone? That was a prototype." Of course, he would be concerned about his tech.

 

“I sent Steve an email letting him know that I was alive and then I threw the device in some random river in Canada in case I was being tracked."              

 

“Considering you’re currently on the FBI most wanted list that was probably a good idea. Actually, come to think of it, they had a picture of Phil too, but I just thought that Talbot was a moron. The guy is still chasing after Bruce."

 

"The guy is a moron."

 

"Unfortunately he’s a moron with weapons." Stark scoffed.

 

"Steve likes you probably more than he should. He just didn’t want to completely destroy your relationship with your girlfriend. He wrote me a five-page email about the entire thing before things blew up. As soon as he's aware that you two are no longer together, he may show up here without prompting." She told him.

 

"That’s not a problem considering PR came up with the brilliant idea to use the implosion of my relationship with Pepper to distract everybody from Maria’s appearance in front of Congre…fuck!"

 

"She’s testifying on the Hill?” Why didn’t she consider that possibility before? With Fury dead/off the grid and Widow gone, Maria was the only one left to answer questions.

 

"Not exact-- I didn’t say that. Okay, yeah, she’s testifying in front of Congress, but not on the Hill. The briefing is too sensitive for that. However, I don’t exactly want to handover to you someone who has a blackmail porn collection featuring my only night with Steve. Maria may have as few videos starring you too, because who knows how long your former bosses had a camera in Steve’s apartment. Maybe you put it there." Stark accused.

 

Considering her line of work, she could have done something like that, but Fury told her that there were no cameras in Steve’s apartment except for a few outside at various entry points. They definitely were not in a position to capture something unless they had sex in the hallway. Considering Stark’s reputation and what happened between her and Steve in the training room that one time, it was entirely possible.

 

“I did not put a -- that’s how he figured--Fury was watching the entire…” She took a deep breath to control her rage. It wasn’t productive at this moment. She shouldn’t be shocked at all by the supposedly deceased director spying on her intimate moments with Steve, especially since Steve was her supposed target.

 

“Answer this question and I will help you: what is the real reason you’re here?” Stark asked seriously.

 

“Coulson.” She responded just as quickly as she did at Providence base.

 

“But why? Why is he so important to you that you will break into my house to find Maria Hill? Are you in love with Phil?”

 

“Are you in love with Steve?” She shot back instead of answering.

 

“I asked first.” The billionaire shot back.

 

“Yes,” Melinda answered once she realized that the truth was the only way to convince Stark to help her. “I’m in love with Phil Coulson even though I know the situation is hopeless and he hates me right now. I will do whatever I have to do to protect him because I’m always going to love him.”

 

"Jarvis help the lady out with Operation Get Captain America while I arrange for Maria to be distracted so you can sneak up on her after her meeting. Also take care of transport." She exhaled at Stark’s orders.

 

"Of course sir." The AI responded in the affirmative.

 

“Just for the record, Steve isn’t just some fucktoy for me or an easy way for me to terminate my relationship with Pepper like a certain other former colleague of yours argued. Pepper will always be special to me, but somewhere between arguing and too many trips to Five Guys, I managed to fall completely in love with Steve Rogers.” The way the scientist looked at her told May that he was telling her the absolute truth.

 

“I already knew that. It’s why I came to you.” She smiled as the billionaire left her with his AI to compose a letter to Steve.

To be continued

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoy your feedback, so please leave comments.
> 
> *Just a quick reminder/clarification, during the flashbacks to five weeks earlier May is still unaware of Ward’s true allegiances.


	4. Cars are Easier to Fix then People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read or review the last chapter. Also thank you to everybody who left kudos. Reviews and kudos make me happy and keep me writing. Jaki, I added extra Coulson & Tony banter in this chapter just for you. I was really stuck on how to make all the pieces for this chapter come together, but your well-timed review pointed me in the right direction.
> 
>  
> 
> Also a reminder, now that GotG is out and we are getting closer to season two as well as getting more details about Avengers 2, this story diverges from MCU cannon at the end of AOS season one. I may incorporate elements from the new stuff (similar to what happened in my ST: AOS story The Truth About Love), but only if it fits with what I have planned. However, that probably won't happen until I do the next story.

 

 

**Five weeks earlier**

When she finally climbed into the car with memory stick in hand, she was exhausted, sweaty and covered with dirt. May was relieved that Fury’s riddle actually paid off. It took her several hours and the borrowing of some equipment, but she now had what she needed - she hoped. Part of her knew that she should close the car door and leave. She wouldn’t be surprised if the guy who saw her exiting Phil’s grave called the police, but she needed to know the truth now.

 

May grabbed the tablet laptop hybrid Stark gave her off the passenger seat and inserted the portable drive into its’ appropriate port. Maybe if she hadn’t been so exhausted or focused on bringing up the data, she might have noticed Steve coming to stand beside her. Instead she doesn’t notice anything until he speaks.

 

“Did you really think you could come all the way to DC without seeing me?” She quickly closes out the file at the words and drops the device back on the seat. She checks her reflexive move to pull her ICER as recognition of his voice kicks in. She is surprised to find herself being enveloped in a hug. She wasn’t sure Steve would ever want to speak to her again after he learned who she really was. Her ex-husband filed for divorce before even allowing her a chance to explain once he found out she was a spy.

 

“I thought you would be busy with Stark.” Melinda said returning the embrace.

 

“You know?” Steve asked pulling out of the hug.

 

“Of course, I wouldn’t have sent you that email if I wasn’t okay with it. In a weird way, he’s good for you. How did you find me?” Instead of answering, Steve simply points to her tablet. Naturally, Stark would track her.

 

“Tony told me that your James isn't dead -- or I guess I should say our Phil is not dead.” He only sounded slightly annoyed.

 

“More like back from the dead and possibly brainwashed by Hydra.” Melinda quipped. “I’m here to find out if that was the case.”

 

“There's been a lot of that going on along with lies from all sides.”

 

“I didn’t mean to lie to you.” She doesn’t say she was just following orders. She knows better than to say that now. “Just to clarify, I didn’t sleep with you on Fury’s orders. That was something I needed to get through things and I think you needed it to.”

 

“But you did lie to me.” Steve seemed visibly hurt.

 

“Not entirely.” May closed her eyes. “My last name is May, not my first. Phillips was my last name when I was married. That marriage fell apart after he found out I worked for SHIELD. I really don’t get along with my mother for the reason I told you, but different agencies were involved. I had a very long ‘I told you so’ conversation with her recently.” It was a very long car ride from Canada and that was another part of the reason why she went to Stark instead of using her mother’s contact.

 

“What about James?”

 

“Phil’s middle name is James.” May started to explain. “We’ve been friends since the moment I became a member of SHIELD. I have been in love with him for a very long time. I think he’s the reason why I didn’t even bother to fight when I received the divorce papers. When you and I first met, I was still mourning Phil. Fury did not tell me about Phil not being dead until Christmas that year.”

 

“Is that why you forced me to see Tony afterwards?” He asked referring to her forcing him to go to New York after Stark had the arc reactor removed.

 

“Yes.” Melinda answered simply.

 

“Are you really in love with him?” Steve asked pointedly.

 

“Yes, but nothing has happened.” Melinda explained sadly. “Despite the second chance, I’ve been too afraid to act. Now, it’s too late. In an effort to keep Phil safe, I completely betrayed his trust and now he hates me. That’s the real reason why I pushed for you to talk to Stark before it was too late. Thankfully, you’re braver than I am.”

 

“You’re always brave.” Steve hugged her again. “I think he’ll forgive you once he understands why you did what you d…” Steve was interrupted by Stark’s AI which was slightly disconcerting because May swore that she deactivated all cellular and Wi-Fi capabilities on the special tablet. She should’ve known that any device created by a Stark would have the means to overcome such issues.

 

“Police have been called to investigate reports of vandalism at this location and are expected to arrive in 12.4 minutes.” The AI told the pair. “It would be best to leave now. Mr. Stark has already made arrangements for you to be reunited with your team via private transport.”

 

"I’ve discovered it’s best to listen to JARVIS." Steve said walking around the car. He picked up the tablet and settled into the passenger seat. With the AI’s directions they made it to the airport undetected. Upon finding Stark waiting for her on the plane, she wasn’t entirely sure that was a good thing.

* * *

 

**The Present**

“I’m trying to decide what’s more shocking, Melinda May hugging Captain America or seeing Captain America fly Lola into the Playground.” Skye whispered to the other two as they witnessed the superhero embraced their usually stoic colleague. Unfortunately, Captain America was dressed in civilian clothes and not his trademark uniform.

 

In Skye’s mind a fully restored Lola was the bigger surprise because honestly she never thought she would see the Corvette again. She assumed the car was a goner after Lola saved her and Coulson from Ward and Mike while he was still under the control of Garrett and Hydra.

 

The last time Skye saw the car, she was being towed away by Maria Hill because the former agent said that the technology in Lola couldn't fall into the wrong hands and she would take care of repairs. Apparently, taking care of it meant turning it over to Captain America or more likely his sugar daddy, engineer supreme boyfriend.

 

It’s moments like these that she misses having Twitter. Captain America is hugging one of her friends and she cannot even post about it. She really wished she could post about Captain America dating Tony Stark. There were a couple of homophobic kids from one of her group homes that she would just love to inform of the fact that the patron saint of the orphaned and the biggest bad ass ever were anything but straight.

 

“The car.” Trip whispered to her and Simmons braking Skye out of her thoughts. “I hope the security cameras are catching this.”

 

“I do too. I miss my Stark phone. I would so be taking pictures right now.” Skye lamented.

 

“Director Coulson’s admiration for Captain America is legendary. Actually, his love for all things vintage including that car is legendary. Did you hear the story about how his Captain America cards were used to get the Avengers to come together in New York?”

 

“We don’t talk about that story.” Simmons said hastily remembering the angry glare that she and Skye had received from May when the woman walked in on that particular discussion. Of course that was before they’d found out the TAHITI truth. A cute little story about how Director Fury splattered “fake” blood on Coulson’s vintage Captain America cards loses its cuteness when you realize that no fake death was involved. Of course, Trip didn’t know about some of the more painful details regarding TAHITI.

 

“I find the embrace and laughter more shocking.” Simmons remarked. If it wasn’t for the fact that she’d seen the blackmail porn tapes from the Maria Hill collection, Skye would have been just as surprised. Apparently, the pair had the type of relationship where more than hugging was involved. (There was also one recording that had May, the master of emotional control, breaking down in Captain America’s arms because she never made a move on a really good friend before he died. For Skye, it was proof that May actually has feelings.)

 

 

“Why?” Trip asked. “I’ve seen her hug you before.” The incident in question was right after a particularly bad phone call with the doctors treating Fitz. It resulted in Simmons wrecking her room and May being the only one who could restrain her. The scientist fell asleep crying in her arms.

 

“I’m not sure I would actually consider that a hug, but May has been part of the team for nearly a year so it would be natural for us to have that type of relationship. However, she’s never mentioned being acquainted with Captain Rogers.” Simmons said defensively.

 

“If I did my math right, they worked together for months before she joined you guys last year. When you’re running missions with somebody you grow close fast. It’s the nature of our business. Therefore, I’m pretty sure they’re friends. See, they’re joking about Lola.” Trip pointed at the two. They were no longer hugging, but Steve had his arm around her as the soldier showed her all the upgrades Stark made to the car. Oddly, he referred to Lola as being May’s car.

 

Trip was right; they really looked like friends in that moment. May was actually smiling, smiling. Skye isn’t sure that she’s ever seen anything beyond a smirk from the woman. The only time she ever relaxes is when she’s with Coulson. Seeing her like this was disconcerting.

 

Maybe they were friends. Skye couldn’t see how that was even possible. How can you be friends with somebody you used to have sex with? Skye knows for a fact they had that type of relationship. She didn’t think it was just a friends with benefits thing because she couldn’t see a guy from the 40s going for something like that. However, most of her Captain America assumptions have completely gone out the window since she realized that was no superhero look alike in those video files, so what’s one more. Biting, leather, and sex toys oh my.

 

Skye had never really stayed friends with any of her ex sex partners afterwards. Of course, she has a tendency to be drawn to complete assholes. In the grand scheme of things, Miles wasn’t that bad. Is it wrong that she's almost happy she found Eric's body before she allowed Ward to convince her that a quickie while their friends were trying to capture some potential super villain was a good idea?

 

If she thought about it, May maintaining a friendship with Captain America shouldn’t surprise her. May has always been able to separate physical urges from emotions. Despite having the thing with Ward, she had no trouble kicking his ass when needed and that was before she found out he was a Hydra puppet. Actually, the only time it was obvious that May had emotions that could be compromised was when Coulson was involved. Sometimes, Skye felt he was her only emotional vulnerability. She knows there’s something there, but can’t put a label on what that something is.

 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you again, Sir.” Skye turned around to see Trip actually saluting. Apparently, she was so wrapped up in her head that she missed part of the conversation and more important things like Trip and Simmons walking over to Lola.

 

“Please, you don’t have to do that. And it’s Steve not Captain Rogers.” The captain or rather Steve said extending his hand.

 

“Grandpa and Jamie would be offended if I didn’t try.” Trip joked as he grabbed the man’s hand.

 

“You served with his grandfather?” The captain just nodded his head at Skye’s question.

 

“Then maybe you could tell us who it is. He rarely talks about anything personal. With a first name like Antoine, I’m thinking Jacques Dernier.” She decided not to mention the bet that she and Fitz made about it before Ward screwed everything up because Simmons may start crying again. After a secure videoconference with Trip’s mom (who looks more like his sister) about Fitz’s status, she’s even more confident of her choice in their betting pool. Unfortunately, Captain America and Trip just start laughing at her.

 

“I’m a spy. We don’t give out details about our personal life unless we have to.” Trip remarked.

 

“Or completely make things up instead like enjoying board games or not being a lying asshole.” At that moment, she felt Trip’s hand gently squeeze her shoulder.

 

“My mom named me after one of her childhood friends but switched the name into French. Uncle Jacques may have suggested it, but I don’t know for sure.” He pauses and then whispers in her ear, “I’m not telling you that just so you trust me, but because I trust you.”

 

“So your grandfather is notJacques Dernier?” Trip just smiles at her before leaning over to whisper in her ear again.

 

“You owe Fitz two stuffed monkeys and a pizza.” The bastard knew about the bet. That’s so unfair.

 

“I served with his grandfather and grandmother.” Captain America confirms. “From the things May has told me, there is a lot of your grandmother in you. I’m sure she is proud of you.” Trip just smiled at that, it was a sad smile. She remembered Trip vaguely mentioning something about his maternal grandmother having Alzheimer’s and not remembering him half the time.

 

“Peggy Carter is your grandmother.” Simmons blurted out joining the conversation for the first time. She’s been so quiet these last few weeks and Skye hates it. It’s like Jemma was missing half of herself without Fitz being here. Skye doesn’t know how to make it better.

 

Trip essentially nods his head in reluctant confirmation.

 

“How did you figure that out?” Skye asked for a moment slightly shocked.

 

“Do you really believe I’m going to let anybody treat Fitz without researching their qualifications?” Skye knew she wouldn’t. In all honesty, Skye was surprised Jemma hadn’t asked her to do a background check on the entire hospital.

 

“Doctor Triplett received her doctorate under the name Stephanie Carter Jones in 1994 at age 24, two years before she changed her last name to Triplett. However, I didn’t want to assume anything because Carter and Jones are common last names, and both parties were married previously. Also former Director Carter’s children from her first marriage carry the last name Carter-Jones. However, the additional information from the captain makes it obvious that your mother is the only biological child Margaret Carter and Gabe Jones had together.” Simmons said very matter-of-factly proud that she reached the right conclusion.

 

“I’m impressed and your hacking lessons have been paying off.” Skye said proudly. May was giving her the look.

 

“Have you visited grandma recently?” Trip inquired before May could ask Skye anything about her special computer science lessons with Jemma.

 

“I went to see her two days ago after a particularly bad mission. She’s okay. The good days are good and the bad days are…”

 

“Unbearable.” Trip supplies for him and the captain just nods his head.

 

“If you want to see your grandmother, I can talk to Coulson about giving you some time off.” May suggested, once again reaffirming that she is an actual human being. “Of the five of us, you may be the only one who can walk around DC without being arrested.”

 

“Well for being a SHIELD agent anyway.” Trip quipped.

 

“I thought we were no longer wanted fugitives?” Jemma asked slightly puzzled.

 

“The military and CIA no longer want us. However, the FBI and the NSA are not as understanding; the same goes for the intelligence branches of several other governments.” Trip explained.

 

“The only reason why the military is no longer after you is Tony’s lawyers and apparently the CIA is more pragmatic than their counterparts. Other agencies are taking more time to convince. However, by the time you guys come to DC next week, things should be okay.” The captain said almost smiling which bothered Skye. Maybe the reason why Stark is trying so hard to clear Coulson’s name is because he wants him for SI.

 

“I haven’t spoken to Coulson about that yet.” May finally spoke.

 

“I thought you were going to…”

 

“I haven’t had a chance and we haven’t decided anything yet.” May said cutting off the captain.

 

“Why do I feel like there’s an entirely different conversation going on that I am missing?” Skye muttered to herself.

 

“Because they probably are,” Trip mumbled under his breath before turning to the rest of the group.

 

“It’s fine. I’d rather not run into my ex-fiancé right now. I don’t feel like hearing ‘I told you so’. Robin never completely liked SHIELD and in the end it’s why our marriage never happened.”

 

“Mr. Ray, correct?” The captain asked and Trip nodded his head. “I think he’s one of your grandmother’s nurses? Or rather he was. Evidently, Peggy punched him after he said some unflattering things about you when the news about SHIELD came out. She broke his nose.” The captain related smiling broadly.

 

“That’s grandma. I’ve always known that she is still in there somewhere.” Trip said returning the grin.

 

“You were engaged to a guy?” Simmons asked Trip slightly shocked.

 

Skye had already known that for a little while. She may have tried to sleep with Trip to get the taste of Ward out of her mouth during their fourth day at the Playground only to discover he was just ‘straight for OPS’. He was really nice about it. They raided Billy’s secret chocolate supply and watched trashy romantic comedies. At one point, he told her about this crazy mission where he had to pretend to be his cousin’s boyfriend because the person in charge of the mission had no idea they were related.

 

“Yes, my ex-fiancé was a guy and he was also a complete prick.” Trip told her bitterly.

 

“There’s nothing wrong with that. I mean there’s nothing wrong with you being gay, but it was very wrong of him to end your engagement for such a ridiculous reason--I have no trouble that you’re gay or bi or… Fitz dated a few guys at the Academy which is probably why I didn’t…” At that point during the babbling, tears began running down her cheeks. Trip placed his arm around her.

 

“I am a complete idiot.” Simmons said breaking down in sobs and Skye just froze. Computers were so much easier.

 

Thankfully before things could get more awkward, Iron Man drags Coulson into the hanger.

* * *

 

Steve had wonderful timing, Tony thought to himself as he slid his phone back into his pocket after reading Jarvis’s notification. Super boyfriend arrived at Coulson’s secret compound just as he told Coulson about finally striking a deal with Agent Scary. Coulson had essentially been silent since Tony started telling the story of how Ninja Neighbor broke into his house in Arlington.

 

“I don’t know what I find more unbelievable, that you knocked May unconscious and she let you live afterwards or that you only agreed to help her after she confessed that she was in love with me.” Coulson skepticism was deafening even if he hadn’t raised his voice.

 

“I don’t know why. You’re a very lovable guy. I flew a nuke into a portal just to avenge your death.” He decided it was best not to say something along the lines of ‘I’m probably only alive because Ninja Neighbor knows that you like me’. Truthfully, he doesn’t want to say this out loud because he doesn’t want to be proven wrong which seems highly probable considering the annoyed glare that he’s getting from Director Agent.

 

“I don’t think that was the only reason.” Coulson mumbled under breath.

 

“If it wasn’t for you, I would still be a self-absorbed ass. I think you helped me become more than that. You’re the heart of this operation. You see the good in everyone. It makes sense that Ninja Neighbor is in love with you.”

 

“I don’t believe you.” Tony wonders if he’s really saying ‘I can’t believe you.’ He is pretty sure the only thing that will convince Coulson is hard evidence which was conveniently waiting in the man’s email inbox.

 

“Agent May made the deal because she wanted to protect you and now that SHIELD is mostly ashes, I’m the only option.” Director Agent visibly bristled at that. “She wrote Steve a riveting love letter that convinced him that I’m not a complete dick and he showed up at my front door a few hours later. It took him a while to actually knock on the door, but eventually we were making out like teenagers. It all worked out.” And they ended up having sex on the staircase. He kept that remark to himself since he’s already been chastised once for over sharing.

 

“While you were making out with your new boyfriend, my team was being detained by an Air Force Colonel who has a tendency to go straight for bunker busters. And Skye, the one who is apparently friends with your AI, was in Hydra custody. I don’t consider selling out my entire team to Colonel Talbot as help.” Tony just closed his eyes. Maria Hill, the gift that keeps fucking him over.

 

“That is not my definition of help either.” Tony began. “My definition of help was stashing you and your team at one of my private houses overseas in a country without an extradition treaty until the lawyers figured out a way to get you all off the FBI most wanted list - which they’re still working on by the way. I think the CIA corroboration will help. Then I was going to put you in charge of my new crime-fighting nonprofit. I was thinking of calling it the Future Foundation.” Director Agent continued to glare at him.

 

“Okay, maybe we need to come up with a different name but we cannot exactly call it SHIELD because of the ‘branding issues’. Although, we could call it Captain America’s Shield or something like that, but I’m not sure Steve would be…” Because of the glaring, Tony decided it was not the time to let Coulson know that his childhood idol was upset with Fury for not entirely keeping his promise (frankly, Steve should know better by now, because Fury always lies). The only thing placating him was Tony and Agent Scary’s reassurance that any organization Coulson was in charge of was going to resemble what Peggy started rather than what the organization became in the end.

 

“Look, I really didn’t have a chance to talk to Hill before she went off on her Canadian adventure. Ninja Neighbor didn’t quite follow my instructions and knocked out one too many federal agents following Hill. Because of this, she was detained before I could speak with her. I’m not even sure she read my text message asking her to bring you back with her.” Knowing Maria Hill, she probably ignore the message on principle. Tony believes this is revenge for never doing what SHIELD wanted him to do in the first place.

 

“She tried to convince me to leave everybody else to the system and follow her to SI, but I wasn’t about to leave my team behind. That’s not my style.” Coulson explained.

 

“I’m aware it’s a package deal. I would take Agent Scary just so I would have somebody to watch Steve’s back during his mission to find the Manchurian Soldier. Sam has a day job and Steve’s self-preservation skills need work.” If it wasn’t for super soldier healing, Steve would still be covered in bruises after his last adventure. Tony believes this is the universe’s way of getting back at him for all the things he put Pepper through.

 

“Steve would’ve made me anyway. Steve would also make me take Peggy’s grandson regardless. Howard would have made me do the same thing if he wasn’t taken out by Hydra. He adored Jamie, Marcy, and Stephanie.”

 

His dad always got along better with the Carter-Jones daughters than his own son, except for Desiree. Desiree hated Howard. Sometimes Tony was positive that his father simply hated him because he turned out to be a boy. The guy wanted a daughter so much that stored somewhere in the DC house Tony has a pink baby blanket embroidered with the name he would have had if he’d been born female. It’s probably for the best he wasn’t, because two Avengers named Natasha would have been confusing.

 

“I’m personally mad that SHIELD found Skye first.” Tony told Coulson shaking off his own thoughts. “Also, I hear you have a biochemist who would make the perfect playmate for Bruce and according to Hill your engineer saved Steve’s ass with his mouse hole thing. That means he has a lifetime offer of employment at Stark Industries.”

 

“Unfortunately, Fitz is currently in a coma.” That must be the engineer.

 

“I know that’s why I’m paying for his hospital care. Wait, I thought his last name was Simmons.” Tony remarked. Although, the name Fitz is really familiar. He thinks that he may have went to college with somebody with that name. Suddenly, he remembers a 20-year-old British girl in Lola’s backseat.

 

“That’s it. Her last name was Fitz.” Tony said out loud without thinking.

 

“What are you talking about?” Coulson gave him a strange look.

 

“Lola.” As soon as he said the name, Coulson got a wistful look on his face.

 

“What does Lola have to do with anything?” Director Agent asked slightly annoyed.

“Ever since Maria Hill dropped the car off at my house as a peace offering at the end of April, I’ve been trying to remember the name of the girl I slept with in said car when I was in college.” Okay, now Coulson looked really pissed off.

 

“You had sex in my car?” Tony was expecting him to yell, but he didn’t. He just raised an eyebrow.

 

“Not recently. Steve refused to even let me give him a blow job in the car once I was finished with restoration.” Tony wasn’t even joking about that. Coulson’s expression just got darker.

 

“Stop looking at me like that. It wasn’t your car at the time. It was dad’s car back then and you know me and doing anything to piss off daddy. Come to think of it, it was a SHIELD car, so neither one of you really had ownership. I was maybe 15 and she was 20. She was this beautiful exchange student from England or somewhere around there and completely out of my league. I tried to impress her by borrowing my father’s car before I was old enough to drive. It worked.” Tony quipped.

 

“You do realize that was statutory?” His last therapist said something similar.

 

“It seemed like a good idea at the time and it wasn’t like Howard actually cared enough to press charges or so I thought. Anyway, I couldn’t remember her name except that it started with an F or a K. Now I remember, it was F…”

 

“Was her first name Kella?” Coulson interrupted.

 

“I think--maybe. What’s with all the questions? Do you really want to hear all about my sordid sexual past if it doesn’t involve Stevie Bear? That reminds me, did you seriously offer to give him a hand job in the middle of…”

 

“I’d prefer not to know about it at all,” he answered emphatically avoiding the hand job comment. “Except I’ve been hearing about little else for the last hour. What was the point of this conversation?”

 

‘ _To get you to remember that you told Pepper about having feelings for Melinda during your drive to the airport before all hell broke loose which is the real reason why you let the cellist moved back to Portland without trying to change her mind.’_

 

“To make you realize that Ninja Neighbor is completely head over feet in love with you to the point that she would break into my house and use her best friend as a bargaining chip because she knew I love Steve to the point I would do just about anything.” Tony said instead.

 

“You’re in love with Captain America?” Director Agent asked slightly shocked.

 

“I have an unbelievably inappropriate crush on Captain America to the point where I did things with his posters that I probably shouldn’t have. Evidently you did too judging by the fact that you’re starting to look a little pink.” Tony joked.

 

“I will not confirm that.”

 

“Captain America is perfectly crushable. I mean those arms and that ass made me realize I was into guys long before I was being dragged into the backseat of a vintage convertible.” Tony almost sounded wistfully. “But Captain America is not Steve. Steve is a prick when he wants to be. He’s supposed to be a tactical genius and yet he doesn’t always think things through. He will rush in head first if he believes it’s worth the risk. He curses like the Army man that he is. He hogs the covers and don’t even get me started on his inability to talk about his feelings.”

 

“Which is something your great at considering you couldn’t even tell your loved ones that you were dying,” Coulson said bringing up the Palladium poisoning incident.

 

“You have no room to talk because you couldn’t tell your loved ones that you’re not dead anymore.” That statement shut Coulson up very quickly.

 

“Fine, you don’t want to believe May is in love with you or maybe you do believe May actually cares about you and you’re…”

 

“Last time, I got two agents killed because I let my personal feelings get in the way which is why I don’t date other agents, anymore.” Coulson interrupted. Tony wondered if he was talking about the rumored Hawkeye incident. Clint still refuses to confirm that one.

 

“Except you are not an agent anymore. The old rules do not apply. You can do whatever you want.” Tony told him.

 

“Just because you slept with your CEO…” Coulson started

 

“Who I am still friends with even after our relationship went sideways. Your relationship with Clint even survived. In both cases, work never suffered.” Director Agent didn’t even flinch when Tony said the man’s name.

 

“Does he know?” Of course, he would ask that question.

 

“No, you get to tell him yourself. I’ve already dealt with Pepper.” Pepper was bad but, Clint may use him for target practice. He doesn’t even want to think about what Natasha’s reaction will be. Tony only told Bruce because of science and remarkably the disclosure did not result in having to rebuild the lab (again).

 

“Maybe for your birthday weekend we can have a ‘Thanks to alien DNA Phil Coulson isn’t dead’ party. We’ll have lots of alcohol. It will be great.” Tony already knew it would be as bad as ‘the birthday party that Pepper does not speak of’ hopefully with less property damage, but this needs to happen.

 

“No.” Director Agent answered emphatically.

 

“What about presents? Actually scratch that. Your present is already outside.” Tony said realizing it was time to hand over the keys to Lola.

 

“What did you do?” That’s when Tony dragged him out of the plane to see Lola with Steve and Agent Scary standing next to the car. However, Coulson’s attention was focused on the scientist sitting on top of the car’s hood in tears with the person Coulson refers to as Agent Triplett. With that last name, he must be Stephanie’s kid. (And the fact that her kid is probably about the same age as Steve, not counting his time as a Capsicle, made Tony feel like a dirty old man.) The car went completely unnoticed until the scientist apologized for crying on top of Lola.

 

“You brought Lola back?” He asked blinking.

 

“I distinctly remember telling you that I was restoring Lola for the sole purpose of giving her back to you. I’m sure I said that.” Tony said from the edges of the group.

 

“No, you didn’t.” What followed was Director Agent going into complete fan boy mode over Steve. Tony was watching the whole thing unfold with JARVIS’s new BFF.

 

“It’s like the Howling Commandos gear all over again.” His fellow computer hacker mumbled next to him. “He really needs to get a room.”

 

“That’s what I’m hoping for.” She just looks at him strangely.

 

“Not with Steve,” Tony told her before thinking better of it. “Well, unless I was watching.”

 

“And this was how old SHIELD got their blackmail porn on you.” The girl quipped.

 

“You saw the video?” He asked slightly worried. Steve couldn’t deal with that tape being made public right now.

 

“For someone in your 40s, you’re very limber.” She joked. “You don’t have to worry about me leaking the tape. If I wanted it on the Internet, it would be. Thanks to Coulson, I’m not that person anymore.” She reassured him.

 

“Director Agent is special that way. Did you happen to see the other…” He trailed off pointing to Coulson and May.

 

“The one where she breaks down over her dead friend … It was Coulson. Seriously?” Skye asked confused.

 

“Yes and I’m trying to play matchmaker.” Tony sighed.

 

“Getting rid of the competition. Very smart.” Tony chose to ignore the comment.

 

“How fast do you think you can get everyone else out of this room?”

 

“Quickly, but on one condition?”

 

“You want something other than a five-year-old laptop? Done.” Actually, that was already in the trunk because JARVIS deserved better living conditions.

 

“No, I want your promise that you won’t take Coulson away from us. We need him right now.” That almost sounded like a plea.

 

“I promise to do everything in my power to make sure Director Agent will be around for a long time.” He decided not to mention what all that might involve.

* * *

 

**Four days earlier**

Today was a bad day. He had yet another meeting with Congress or rather congressional staff members thanks to his new (and now former) assistant forgetting to mention Tony was personally doing the briefing. The congressmen would have showed up otherwise. To be honest, he’d rather deal with the staffers anyway. At least they actually knew what they were talking about and there was significantly less ass kissing on all sides. (Tony wondered if he could possibly poach one of the staffers for himself. He’s already gone through two assistants since Candy tried to kill him.)

 

After trying to explain for the thousandth time that he was completely unaware that Hydra had infiltrated SHIELD when he provided it with proprietary tech and that many of the agents were innocent and therefore should not be rounded up and shot like dogs for the sake of politics, all Tony wanted was Steve. Specifically, he wants to be fucked against the nearest wall by him or to do the same to him. He wasn’t picky.

 

The only problem was Steve was in Brooklyn looking for the ghost of best friends past after another potential Winter Soldier sighting. His boyfriend swore that he saw a glimpse of a metal arm when Tony dragged him to this old Brooklyn pizza place that had existed when Steve was growing up. This wouldn’t be horrible if Tony could return to the tower, but he was keeping his promise to give Pepper space.

 

Their dinner with her three nights ago was one of the most uncomfortable of his life mostly because his now former assistant conspired with Pepper’s assistant to play relationship counselor by scheduling them both to attend the same business dinner. (If he’d known Pepper was attending, he would have never allowed Steve to tagalong. Contrary to popular opinion, he’s not that much of a dick.) After Steve apologized profusely and gave her a large bouquet of flowers (which he still would like to know how Steve knew to bring), the conversation revolved around the appetizers and meal in general because everything else was too classified or too awkward. Tony decided it was probably best that he go back to DC.

 

In his defense, anything with Pepper was going to be awkward regardless (as proven by their private business lunch the next day to deal with the meddling assistants). Pepper was still upset about the Coulson thing and it wasn’t like they could actually talk about that in public (but it came up several times at lunch). Sleeping with Steve, she was perfectly fine with. She even made a threesome joke. (Seriously, why did he never consider that option before he ruined his chance by being an ass?) But wait a couple of hours—okay, two days - to tell her about Coulson not being dead and he was getting another icy glare. He had already sent her shoe apology basket number 10 for this alone. The last time he sent her the BIG basket was after he got the Malibu house blown up. Finding out from a cocky and idiotic Colonel that one of your friends was not really dead was probably equally traumatic.

 

Making matters worse, the business dinner just happened to be with the new head of accounting Jonathan Triplett and his wife, who had been named head of SI medical research at GMUC primarily because a patient potentially going crazy from being injected with a super drug made from alien DNA wouldn’t faze her. He didn’t realize until the dinner Stephanie Triplett was actually Stephanie Carter-Jones, who pretty much stopped taking his phone calls after the great kidnapping incident of 1986. (Maria Hill didn’t tell him how this event was tied to a SHYDRA plot referred to as Project NURSERY until the morning after this meeting. The list of ramifications is still more than he can focus on now.)

 

It wasn’t until they were in the guest rooms at the tower that Steve tells him he only asked to come along on this dinner was because he knew Stephanie was the daughter of Gabe Jones. Why couldn’t Steve have mentioned that on the way to dinner?

 

To further derail things, he couldn’t talk to Steph about the real reason he brought her into SI. They were in public (again thanks to the assistant not following his instructions to arrange for something at the tower) and the fewer people who knew about Phil’s resurrection the better. Tony didn’t want his reunion with the guy after so long to be a rescue op.

 

Add in the fact that he is now dating her mother’s ex-boyfriend (and somehow she figured that out without him saying a word) and of course the only safe area of conversation is going to be the cuisine. This is why HR was looking for another new assistant for Tony. Tony didn’t even fire her, Pepper did.

 

Because Steve was occupied with his great winter soldier chase (and he’d promised said boyfriend to cut back on his drinking), the only acceptable way he could decompress was to work on the cherry red vintage convertible currently in his garage that Maria Hill brought back from California. It had only taken him a few moments to recognize the cherry red darling as the one that had belonged to his father.

 

Tony and this car had history. He’d learned to drive in this car at 12 thanks to his mom, Maria, and Jarvis. He’d lost his virginity in it. He was almost 15 and she was a twenty something British or maybe Scottish exchange student that he’d impressed by borrowing his father’s favorite car just so he could see her one last time before she went home. He couldn’t remember the girl’s name, but he remembered the car’s involvement. He also remembers his mom grounding him for two months for ‘disappearing’ that night despite the fact that he was in college at the time. She’d been terrified he gotten kidnapped because it was only a few months after the Stephanie incident. Now that he’s an adult and he knows about his father’s role in SHIELD, he understands why the kidnapping of the daughter of his father’s old friend was so terrifying. Howard and Peggy Carter-Jones had a lot of the same enemies.

 

He punched a wall for the first time when he discovered that Obadiah sold Lola right after his parents died. He was furious. He just lost his mom and dad, he didn’t want to lose one of the few things he associated with happy times (not that there were many).

 

It wasn’t until Hill managed to bring the car back with her from her botched Coulson mission that he found out Lola Stark was a weaponized flying car that would make James Bond jealous. After his father died, SHIELD took possession of it because they couldn’t allow someone outside the organization, not even him, to have that technology. Personally, he believes they were mostly keeping the car away from Obadiah. Lola was coming back to him now because daddy dearest put in a strange provision into the original SHIELD bylaws. If something were to ever happen to SHIELD most of the proprietary technology, intellectual property, and patents would revert to Stark Industries. Apparently, Lola was considered ‘intellectual property’.

 

However, during her 23 year absence she was locked away for years until Coulson rescued her from an unknown storage facility and lovingly restored the car. According to Steve, during Phil’s not death the car went into the custody of Agent Scary. It annoyed Tony that he never went with Steve to look at his neighbor’s vintage convertible.

 

Hill probably brought the car back to get back on his good side. It didn’t work. There was lots of screaming, mostly about her and her cohorts keeping Phil’s resurrection from all the Avengers. They didn’t have to tell him the miracle drug details, he would’ve accepted ‘the dead for eight seconds’ lie that they were using for everyone else. That’s what he’d told Pepper and she believed it. Tony shouted at Hill for half an hour for that alone. Steve was particularly angry when he found out that they purposely kept May in the dark for the first six months for the sole purpose of trying to convince her to become the seventh Avenger.

 

Tony and Steve yelled at Hill for a full hour for screwing with Phil’s mind. He remembers saying something along the lines of “No wonder the other agencies can’t see the difference between SHIELD and Hydra because right now even I’m having a hard time seeing it.” He was beyond furious on agent’s behalf. It only got worse after Pepper told Tony about her last conversation with agent. Apparently their friend broke up with the cellist for another reason beyond not wanting to do a long-distance relationship and her name was Melinda May. Unfortunately, Phil doesn’t remember any of that because they fucked up and deleted too much.

 

As a mechanic, he wanted to fix Phil. The mind was not his area of expertise (Luckily, he had the money to hire people who were subject matter experts so that was okay), but Lola he could fix. After everything that’s happened, at least he could give the guy back his car even if a part of Tony wanted to keep it. Unfortunately, Lola Coulson formally Lola Stark needed a lot of work.

 

Working on Lola the last few weeks gave him a way to decompress after dealing with congressional kindergartners. Hydra had done a number on the vehicle. Restoring her flight capabilities was easy. He may have had a little too much fun upgrading her defense capabilities because he really would like Director Agent to stay alive for as long as possible. Lola would also be the first car to run on arc reactor technology. However, getting rid of the bullet holes without having JARVIS scour for replacement pieces all over the globe was a lot harder. After four weeks, the car was practically ready for delivery.

 

“Agent May is calling.” The AI interrupted as he was tightening one last bolt underneath Lola.

 

“Tell her that Steve’s in Brooklyn right now and just send an email.” Tony said absently inspecting his work.

 

“Agent May is trying to reach you.” The AI responded.

 

“Tell her to call me back later. I’m busy.” By busy he meant that he wanted to take the car out for a test drive. He wondered how far out of the city he would have to go to find someplace where nobody will notice a flying car. Maybe he should have added cloaking capabilities.

 

“She said to tell you that Director Coulson is currently waking up in the middle of the night to compulsively draw a design similar to the one made by Hydra operative John Garrett during the height of his psychosis. She sent you a picture.” Okay, that was bad.

 

“Put the call through.” Tony tells the AI worriedly.

 

“What’s going on? I thought Agent Agent was doing okay. He sounded fine when I spoke to him a few days ago, just snarkier. By the way, thank you for sneaking my phone number into Fury’s toolbox.” If it wasn’t for May telling him the truth, Tony had this feeling that they would be working against each other instead of working together. It was better this way.

 

“Technically it’s Director Agent, if you insist on using that nickname.”

 

“It does have a ring to it.” She just sighed before explaining that last night she caught Director Agent carving strange possibly alien symbols into one of the walls in the storage room. Considering the wall was covered in those designs, she thinks he’s been doing it for weeks possibly ever since they arrived at their current location. However, during daylight hours he doesn’t remember anything. He could tell that she was very worried about this. He was too, but he refused to show it.

 

“I could Instagram a picture to a certain Asgardian, but I think I’d have a better chance of getting a message to Asgard itself than the middle of nowhere place he is now.” Tony joked. Realistically, Thor may be the only person who would have a clue to the meaning of what Phil was writing.

 

“Be serious.” The agent snapped.

 

“Being a snarky ass is how I deal with stuff.” Tony told her defensively. “When dealing with the effects of alien biology, don’t you think that it’s a good idea to consult an alien?”

 

“The fewer people that know about this the better, at least for right now. I’m not even sure if knowing what the symbols are will actually help us. Have you spoken to Dr. Triplett about Phil’s underlying condition at all?”

 

“She hasn’t had time to meet because she’s dealing with another patient. Considering that patient is one of yours and she calls you guys every other night, maybe you should talk to her about it.” Tony said defensively.

 

“It has to be in person. Even this conversation may be too dangerous, but at least I know that both sides are secure.” He knew she was right. Tony heard about the kidnapping as part of Hill’s 101 excuses for keeping him in the dark.

 

“Then you should bring Phil here.” Tony suggested. He personally felt it was a brilliant idea. It shouldn’t be that hard to convince the others to come down for a few days.

 

 

“Too dangerous,” Agent Scary said a little too quickly.

 

“Lawyers are working on getting the NSA, FBI, and the governments of several other countries not too shoot the moment you arrive in DC. I’m sure you, me and Steve can deal with all the other threats. Also, you already promised to make Coulson have dinner with Pepper as soon as it was safe. I need that dinner to happen so she will stop being mad at me. I’m even working on building a cover for everyone on your team. I’m thinking of making you Steve’s new assistant.” In his mind, he could just picture her glaring at him. “In the meantime, I want to stop by to see Phil for myself.”

 

“No. Call me when Dr. Triplett is brought up to speed on the situation.” With that she disconnects from the call.

 

“Do you know where she was calling from?” Tony asked the AI.

 

“Of course, Sir. It was very easy to reactivate Agent Poots Wi-Fi capabilities on her laptop. She is calling from one of the bases that you helped design.” Tony smirked at that.

 

“Is there anything I have to do Friday that absolutely requires my presence?” Tony asked already making plans for a very special weekend getaway.

 

“You have a meeting with the Board of Directors at two that day. This cannot be rescheduled.” The AI left out that Pepper would kill him if he did not show up.

 

“Okay, let Maria deal with it.” Considering everything she’s done, she deserves to deal with the wrath of the board. Besides compared to Congress they are pushovers. “And call Steve.”

 

“Of course, Sir.”

 

“Hey, Stevie Bear.” He started before Steve had time to even say his name. “How do you feel about a weekend retreat to a secret not quite military installation? Agent Scary will be there. I’m sure you could talk her into a three-way or if we are lucky a four-way. Look, I know you haven’t found Bucky yet, but you need a break. This is slowly driving you crazy.”

 

“Tony, I don’t think that is such a great idea.” Steve sighed.

 

“Maybe not the group sex, but everything else is. Besides, I kind of want to meet this computer prodigy, Skye, in person. Trust me, it will be great and I think May needs you. Phil is getting worse.” Tony knew he would win with that statement.

 

“Ok.” Steve acquiesced.

To be continued.

 

 


	5. You Know What They Say About the Road to Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read the last chapter, left kudos, added the story to your favorites or is following the story. I did not get a lot of reviews, but to those who did, I really appreciate the feedback.
> 
>  
> 
> I apologize for the long time between updates. I had family visiting and I went to see my brother in New York. On the plus side, I did get to go to the Avenger’s STATION exhibit at Discovery Times Square. I didn't get to take any pictures inside because they were really taking the government agency thing seriously. However, in the gift shop they did have a Captain America shield that you could take pictures with along with a replica of Thor’s hammer. I also got a SHIELD lanyard (that I’m actually wearing at work) and T-shirt.
> 
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> 
> I decided to write the last two chapters in tandem because I wanted to finish writing before the season two premiere of AOS so I would not be overly influenced. It ended up being three chapters and a tag instead because I have a writing problem. Basically, I wanted to avoid the massive chapter we had last time. Anyway, the next chapter is drafted and undergoing the proofreading process.

 

Everyone was gone from the hangar except for Melinda, Lola, and himself. He wanted to help the distraught Simmons to her room, but Skye and Trip would not let him. Tony and Steve were also gone most likely making out in the hallway. It's better for him to think of Steve as Steve and not as Captain America (he would be less likely to have a repeat of his ramblings on the helicarrier). Tony did have a point there. Other than wanting to help people, Steve Rogers is nothing like the guy from his childhood comic books and that's not necessarily a bad thing.

 

Now he was alone with Melinda sitting inside of Lola, not sure what to say. His conversation with Tony left him with so many questions. With the exception of the ones raised by the fact that Tony slept with Fitz’s mom the year before the young engineer was born, all those questions revolved around Melinda May.

 

Did Fury really use his death to talk Melinda into going back into the field as Captain Rogers’ handler? Did she actually have a sexual relationship with Steve Rogers? More importantly, if she did have that type of relationship, why didn’t she tell him anything about it? She told him about the Ward fiasco.

 

The only thing he knew about what she was doing during the six months before Fury brought her to his apartment post recovery was that she was doing a detail at the State Department. Was that just part of her cover? That would make sense. Most State Department details were undercover missions.

 

On the other hand, it’s possible that the State Department thing was a lie. It’s entirely possible that she was doing something during the six months that Fury didn’t want him to know about. But Fury’s orders didn’t matter anymore. Did she not trust him enough to tell him, especially now?

 

Maybe Tony was making all this up. Phil still finds it suspicious that May allowed him to live after knocking her unconscious. That fact alone made Phil question the validity of Tony’s story even more than his assertions that Melinda May is in love with him. But why would Tony lie? However, Tony Stark is Tony Stark. It's difficult to understand why he does the things he does.

 

But if everything he says is true then... He wasn't sure what to do. The idea of Melinda May being in love with him was something so terrifying that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to deal with it. It’s easy to want something you could never have.

 

"Why did you tell Stark that I was alive?" After too many minutes of silence, this is the question that finally comes out. It’s one of the few questions that does not revolve around Melinda’s alleged feelings for him. “We were under strict orders...”

 

“At the time there was no SHIELD and as you pointed out to me, I was following your orders now.” Melinda said in her defense cutting him off mid-sentence. “You needed help and you weren't listening to me anymore. You didn't trust me anymore. Stark was the only one I knew who could get you help.” He looked at her face as she spoke and beyond her usual mask he could see fear and pain, but he could also pick up on her admiration for him. Could it be more than admiration? Did he want it to be more than that? Yes, he did. But could he deal with the consequences of it being more?

 

"And Maria?" He asked trying to escape his own thoughts.

 

"I went to her to find out any information about what they did to you at the Guesthouse. You saw what I found." He just nodded his head at her words.

 

He was more surprised than shocked that he was probably the one person who knew about the Guesthouse, but those memories were lost to him. Sometimes he wonder what other memories were taken from him. There were holes in his memories of the days before his death. For example, he remembers getting in a car with Pepper after he dropped the file off at Stark Tower, but he doesn’t remember anything they spoke about.

 

At night, he sees flashes of things that he doesn't remember in daytime. There are a lot of conversations with Melinda that take place in a room he doesn’t remember. He has visions of blue aliens and strange blueprints. Then in the morning when he opens his eyes things begin to fade away and all he has left are echoes.

 

"I didn't know that she was going to turn over Providence to Col. Talbot." From her eyes, he knows that she’s telling the truth.

 

"None of us did.” He places a hand on her. “Although considering what Stark told me, I shouldn't be surprised."

 

“He told you about old SHIELD’s special surveillance?" There was a touch of anger in Melinda’s voice.

 

"The blackmail sex tapes? Yes."

 

"I took care of it. I didn't want her to have that much power over me-- us."

 

"There was a tape of you?" He just looks at her for a moment. "So you actually slept with Captain America?"

                                       

"I slept with Steve.” She didn’t even look at him as she spoke. “You were gone and..."

 

"What does that have to do with you sleeping with Steven?" He asked defensively. He didn’t act like this when she told him about Ward. Of course, he always knew that her arrangement with Ward was doomed because the man’s ‘crush’ on Skye was so obvious. Actually, he had been surprised because he couldn’t understand why Ward was sleeping with May when he obviously cared for Skye. Of course, he knew now and he really wished he’d made good on his threat to send the guy to Alaska.

 

"You were gone and I had no idea that Fury was planning to bring you back. I was trying to let you go and put the pieces back together. I packed up your things and I handed in my resignation to Maria.” She wouldn’t look at him and this made Phil wonder if she was holding something back.

 

“However, Fury wouldn't let me leave. He told me that the best way to honor your memory was to continue on with your mission which meant keeping the Avengers together.

 

"So you became Steve's handler and you started sleeping with him? Do you have any idea how many rules that breaks? That’s even worse than Ward." Considering the angry glare he’s receiving, he might have gone too far mentioning their former team member turn Hydra operative.

 

“It’s impossible for any decision to be worse than Ward. I wasn't Steve’s handler. I was undercover as his neighbor... You know I'm not even going to explain this to you right now. I already confessed to Steve. This is none of your business." She said angrily.

 

"You may have come clean to Steve, but not me. There are a lot of things I don't know. You didn't tell me about TAHITI. You didn't tell me about working with Capt. Rogers or the fact you returned to fieldwork before I showed up at your cubicle. You didn't tell me about going to Stark after leaving Providence. What if someone followed him here? We have too many enemies. Tony said that he took care of Talbot, but I don’t trust that. Talbot has too many friends. Why did you even tell Stark about this place?" Phil nearly screamed at her.

 

“I did not tell Stark about this place. I have been an agent too long to do something that stupid. I explicitly told him not to come for those very reasons. I even yelled at Steve for allowing his boyfriend to come here.” Her body language told Phil that Melinda was telling the truth.

 

“Then how did he find us?

 

“When I had Skye remove the video files from Maria’s possession, Stark implanted the Jarvis OS on Skye’s laptop. I assume that was used to find our location. I will never do anything that would intentionally hurt y-the team.” She grabs his hand during her plea.

 

He catches her last minute were change. He knows that she was planning to say ‘you’ not ‘the team’. Phil is well aware that she will justify her actions by saying that it was to help him. This made him think back to Tony’s words from earlier? Was she in love with him? He would only know the answer to that question if he asked her and even then he would only know if she told him the truth.

 

“When we were on the plane, Stark said he would not agree to help you until you gave him the real reason why you were there." He paused, not sure how to word the actual question.

 

"Whatever he told you was a lie."

 

"So you're not in love with me and you..." Phil stops speaking when he sees the expression on her face. She’s terrified and quickly pulls her hand away from his. They've known each other for more than 20 years. He can read her like no one else. If she is this terrified, it means Stark told him the truth. Melinda May is in love with him. Fuck!

 

“Melinda." Phil tried to grab her hand again, but she pulled away. Actually, she gets out of the car so quickly that he doesn't realize it happened until she is on her feet again outside of Lola.

 

"Don't. I know that you can't love me. There is Audrey and TAHITI and this job and the responsibilities of being a Director. I don't expect you to love me, but I lived without you once and I can't do it again. I’m not going to stand here and let you tell me that there's no chance.” With that, she was gone and he was left sitting alone in Lola unable to say anything as she fled from the hangar.

 

Moments later Stark walks in the same door Melinda just used. Tony hands him a tablet and settles into the seat May vacated. It is filled with video files to prove Melinda was in love with him and explaining why she was working with Captain Rogers. If Phil had asked he would admit he came right at that moment because he’d been listening the entire time.

 

As a distraction from that line of thought, Tony says “You can’t be that surprised that old SHIELD had your former apartment under surveillance.”

 

“No.” And he wasn’t since he discovered that his SHIELD file contained all the places he liked to take Audrey to dinner.

 

Seeing Melinda May trying not to cry as she packed his belongings was not something he wanted to watch. As he brought the clip to a stop, Tony started to talk about his plans for his ‘future foundation’ and how they wouldn’t be watching their own agents. It was too much and Tony wouldn’t take the hint to leave him alone. Phil finally used his ICER on Stark 10 minutes later when Tony started talking about using old SHIELD patents to generate revenue for the new organization. Phil didn’t regret his choice; he wanted to be alone.

Xxxxxxxx

June 2012

“How can somebody that has no real life have so much stuff?” Melinda said to herself before she started to box up his vintage spy gear. She cannot believe that she is packing up those things alone. There really was no one else. Jasper would never help. He would just try to convince her to join that support group that Agent Garrett convinced him to join again.

 

Natasha didn’t even bother to come to the funeral so why would she help now. Clint had a pass as far as she was concerned and there may be some rule of decorum that states that you should not help pack up the things of your dead ex-boyfriend with your former fuck buddy.

 

Audrey couldn’t. Yes, she knew that Phil was a SHIELD agent, but not the full extent. She only knew that much because Phil was on the team protecting Audrey during a mission that fell between Coulson’s two attempts at Stark babysitting.

 

Melinda had been the one to call Audrey and break the news about Phil’s death to her. It would be a shame if she found out the way Melinda had from a news report where Tony Stark said too damn much. Melinda was sure no one else wanted to. It was the hardest phone call she ever had to make, but she did it. It was at that moment she realized that they both loved Phil, but Melinda wondered if Audrey could love the version of Phil that she knew.

 

Audrey didn’t know the history behind Phil’s scars, that he had actually killed someone, or even how he really died defiant to the end. Audrey couldn’t even come to the real funeral. Melinda argued that she should be allowed, but it would be too hard to explain to a civilian why Tony Stark a.k.a. Iron Man was giving the eulogy or why the head of the World Security Council (professional prick Alexander Peirce) attended the funeral of a supposedly lowly government suit.

 

Melinda wondered if Audrey even knew about this place. Did Phil ever take her here and show the woman his vast collection of historical spy gear. Could he? Phil had things that even the curators at the International Spy Museum would be shocked to discover actually existed.

 

The apartment wasn’t even under Phil’s real name but rather the alias James Chester in a building that was owned by SHILED or at least a subsidiary. Half the people in the building were agents and the other half at the very least have a secret security clearance at their respective agencies. Melinda had the apartment next door. He insisted that she take it once she was transferred to the Triskelion.

 

Even if Audrey could come to this place, it wouldn’t be right to ask her to come and help. She was currently on the other side of the country, back in Portland. She returned home because she was tired of Phil being gone so often or at least that’s what Phil told her the last time they talked. He told her how it was getting harder and harder to be with somebody when he couldn’t even talk about most of what he did all day and maybe he should just let the relationship fall apart on its’ own now that she was back in Portland.

 

She told him that maybe it was for the best and asked had he considered having a relationship with somebody who could know about the classified parts of his day again. She’d asked to gauge his interest in her.

 

Instead he reminded her about several of his previous failed relationships with fellow agents.She forgot his relationship history was even more sordid then hers including one particularly horrible relationship involving a fellow agent who sold him out. In her defense, it was the first time he told her any of the details. In comparison the thing with Clint that took months to return to professional after the situation blew apart was one of Phil’s more successful relationships with a fellow SHIELD agent. Even that was enough to make him never want to risk a dating a friend or fellow SHIELD agent again.

 

She hadn’t brought it up again and now she never could because he was gone. Melinda felt like crying. Actually one tear was rolling down her cheek.

 

“Phil had a full life. It’s just that the majority of it was classified. Fortunately, your security clearance was high enough for you to know him.” Even though she’s been out of the field for years Melinda was angry at herself for not hearing Director Fury walk in to the apartment especially because she was practically crying.

 

“What are you doing here sir?” She said looking at her former superior. She gave her resignation to Hill a few days earlier.

 

“Because we need this apartment for a new agent and Coulson would kill me if I let an underling pack up any of his vintage collectibles. Besides you shouldn’t do this alone.” He said grabbing one of the many boxes lining the room.

 

“I think he would already be upset about what you did to his vintage Captain America cards.” For emphasis, she pointed to the case where the cards were previously kept.

 

“You heard.”

 

“Maria told me after I asked for the cards.” She asked for the cards when she turned in her resignation only to find out that the director removed the cards from their special case in Phil’s locker and smeared his blood on the cards just to -- she cannot even finish the thought. Phil would be furious when he found out, if he were alive to find out. So it really doesn’t matter.

 

“Hill told me that you resigned.” He said as he started to remove the spy artifacts from the shelf she was working on earlier. And like that everything became clear. Fury was here to talk her out of her decision rather than help her with Phil’s things.

 

“I have been considering it for a while, ever since Bahrain. The only reason why I didn’t was…”

 

“Phil.” The director supplied for her.

 

“But he isn’t here anymore, so there’s no point in me staying.” She is just so tired of everything.

 

“What about continuing his mission?”

 

“The Avengers are together. They saved Earth. What more is there to do? And all he had to do was die to accomplish that.” The bitterness was audible in her voice.

 

“That wasn’t Phil’s mission. His mission was always to uphold the principles that this agency was built upon, to be the shield that protects humanity from the things they are not ready for. We still need you.” Director Fury said looking directly at her.

 

“I’m not sure I can do that anymore.”

 

“I think you owe it to Phil to try." She didn’t say anything as she started boxing up Phil’s vintage Captain America comic book collection. He had left most of this stuff to her, but she didn’t know what to do with the majority of his possessions. Should she keep everything or let it go into storage? She didn’t know what she wanted to do. The only thing Melinda knew for certain was she couldn’t sell any of it. These things were the only parts of him she had left and she couldn’t bear to part with any of it.

 

“I have a mission for you.” The director said after a few moments of silence.

 

“I don’t want another mission.” Melinda sighed. “I resigned. Even if I did take back that resignation, I’m not a field agent anymore. I haven’t been for years.”

 

“The Avengers have already scattered to the four winds.” The director admitted reluctantly.

 

“I gathered that since Doctor Banner and Stark were the only ones that attended Coulson’s funeral. Barton and Romanoff didn’t even attend.” She was upset about that. She understood why Barton would not want to be there. She barely wanted to be there because it hurt too much and they were never more than friends. Romanoff should’ve been there. Phil risked everything to keep her out of the Fridge.

 

“Romanoff was on assignment and Barton is receiving treatment for his injuries.” The director explained. She only found Clint’s excuse acceptable. Melinda was certain ‘treatment’ was code for psychological counseling or even quality time in a psychiatric ward.

 

“Some injuries can’t be healed.” Melinda’s positive that the events of New York will haunt the archer just like Bahrain haunted her every day.

 

“What do you want Director?” She has known the top agent long enough to know that even though Phil is-- was his closest friend, he wouldn’t be here without some ulterior motive. She’s not entirely sure that getting her to reconsider her resignation was his only reason for being here.

 

“The reason why we’re cleaning out this apartment is so Captain America can move in after his grand tour of America. I want you to continue living next door and help him acclimate to the 21st century. I also want you to keep all the Avengers on speaking terms - especially Stark and Rogers. There’s too much pigtail pulling going on there for me to deal with.” Her training is all that keeps a surprised expression off her face.

 

“Why?” She’s not a nurturing person at least not after Bahrain. Why would anybody put her in charge of acclimating Steve Rogers to the 21st century?

 

“Because it’s something that Phil would have done if he was still here.” That she could believe. “It was Coulson’s personal mission to look after Captain America and help him adjust to this time. He’s not here to do that, but you are. You’re the one person he trusted the most. Think of it as a last wish.”

 

“I can think of half a dozen agents better suited to this than me? I know former Director Carter-Jones has a niece who is an agent. Why not her?” It would make more sense for Rogers to work with somebody who has a connection to his past even if it was remote.

 

“She was my second choice, but she’s not available. She is currently running ops in South America with my first choice, Antoine Carter-Jones also known as Peggy Carter-Jones’s grandson. I originally gave him this assignment as a wedding present, but when the wedding fell apart due to the recent alien invasion he preferred running ops in South America. Agent Carter went along to prevent an international incident.” Melinda is shocked that Director Fury is allowing this. The director rarely allowed this type of special treatment.

 

“And you’re not forcing either to take this assignment? You never let anybody turn down a mission. Why are you letting it go this time? Is Agent Carter-Jones your illegitimate son that no one knows about?” May had said it for sheer dramatics, but she’d swear she saw the top agent’s eye twitch.

 

“His grandmother is a close personal friend and has been very helpful over the years, despite being forced to resign after the fallout regarding her daughter’s kidnapping and forced insemination at the hands of the Nursery Group. I know you’re familiar with what happened to her. You worked on the cold case after Bahrain.”

 

Cold case would be an understatement. Over 26 years later, they still do not know why Stephanie Carter-Jones was abducted on her way home on December 17, 1985 by individuals that SHIELD refers to as the Nursery Group because they were never able to learn the organization’s real name. 73 days post-abduction the teenager was found wandering the woods in only a hospital gown. She had managed to escape from a secret lab deep in the mountains of Appalachia after killing most of her captors in the process.

 

The 16-year-old was also five weeks pregnant. She recounted being subjected to numerous procedures as part of an experiment she heard referred to as ‘Project Nursery’ hence the name. According to part of the file that was normally redacted, Director Peggy Carter-Jones was forced out because she refused to hand over her daughter and grandson for testing at the Fridge’s predecessor. Even then, it took Howard Stark’s team of lawyers to keep her successor Alexander Peirce from getting his hands on Stephanie or her baby.

 

Melinda knew why the world Security Council wanted Stephanie Carter-Jonesand her offspring for testing. According to the files, Stephanie Carter-Jones was unusually strong for someone who never worked out (she killed five guards) and recovered from a broken arm in a third of the time it normally takes. During the time Melinda was working on the case, she came up with the theory that they wanted to pass Stephanie’s unusual abilities to others and she was abducted and later inseminated to study this, but she couldn’t prove it. Oddly, her immediate supervisor abruptly moved her to HR despite the director having asked for her specifically to look at this case.

 

“If anyone deserves special consideration, it is her grandson. It’s the least the organization could do.” From what she remembered from the file, he was right.

 

“I apologize for speaking out of turn.”

 

“I’m not your superior officer right now. We’re just two friends packing up the belongings of a third friend who is unfortunately not here with us.”

 

“I don’t think I can be here anymore." She wonders if he realizes that she’s just not talking about SHIELD. She’s not sure she can do life without Phil.

 

“I keep expecting to see him. It’s too hard to be there.” Melinda confessed.

 

“If you take this assignment part of your cover will be a detail at the Department of State. You’ll be the temporary Office Management Specialist for the Assistant Secretary for Democracy and Human Rights.” A detail at DRL as an OMS? She shouldn’t be surprised. There’s probably someone in the Bureau that he wants her to watch.

 

“Why the State Department? What about my ex-husband?" Phillips was still with the department. She had no idea if he was at the Truman building or somewhere overseas. They haven’t exactly talked since the divorce was finalized years ago.

 

“Your ex is still overseas. He’s the Bangkok DCM now. He also knows that if he ever wants to be an ambassador or something more he needs to be quiet about his former wife’s other occupation.” Sometimes she thinks that’s all her ex cared about. “Besides, you already have an established work history with the department during your time as a foreign service spouse.” She ran a lot of missions during the two years that she was married with that cover then everything fell apart.

 

“Which could make staying in character harder.” She pointed out.

 

“The Marshall wing of the building was where the Army was housed during World War II and has recently been restored. The Captain would find it familiar and you wouldn’t have to contend with any emotional ghosts.” The director explained. That’s when she realized the director was giving her a reprieve. Enough time to be away from the organization to regroup.

 

Her former husband was still there and a potential emotional ghost, but she did not mention it again. The ex-husband had nothing on Phil anyway. He would be easier to deal with. Her feelings for Phil were part of the reason why said marriage crumbled apart. Much more so than Phillips discovering that he was married to a secret agent, who comes from a long line of secret agents.

 

“I’ve been an agent long enough to actually retire, I’m done with this. I’m tired. I’m done with…” Everything. Life in general. She wasn’t sure.

 

“What would happen if Phil walked through that door and saw you like this? He wouldn’t want you to give up just because he was gone.” Maybe Fury knew more about where her head was than she thought. “He would want you to keep fighting.”

 

“That’s not going to happen because he’s gone.” She said bitterly as she angrily threw one of Phil’s collectibles across the room.

 

“In our business nothing is impossible.” He said cryptically. “I have to leave in a few minutes to catch a plane. You also don’t have to finish this tonight or alone. Captain Rogers probably won’t be moving in for at least another month. I’m going to be unavailable for a little while dealing with the fallout from New York, but I can finish helping you when I get back. However, if you change your mind call me.” He said placing a secure phone in her hand.

 

And with that she was left alone again with a stack of Captain America paraphernalia. Phil definitely had a Captain America crush. She would never forget that one time they got so drunk that Phil confessed discovering that he was bi thanks to a certain reaction to various Captain America posters. That was something that Phil would never want his idol to find out.

 

She knew Fury was right. Phil would want her to help integrate Steve Rogers into the 21st century. He would want her to keep the Avengers functioning. If they fell apart then Phil’s death would be completely meaningless and she couldn’t deal with that. If he was gone, it had to mean something. Before she could even think, she placed a call to the only number listed in the special phone. A moment later she heard a phone ring beyond the apartment door.

 

“You’re outside, aren’t you?” She said into the device once somebody picked up. At that moment, Melinda jerked open Phil’s front door to see Fury waiting patiently in the hall.

 

“I knew you would come to a decision fast.” The man said smugly.

 

“You don’t know what my decision is.” Melinda told him slightly annoyed.

 

“I know you would want to keep Phil’s legacy alive.” He said pulling out a set of keys.

 

“What’s this?” Melinda asked looking at the keys dubiously.

 

“Phil would want you to take care of Lola if something ever happened to him, but because it’s technically a SHIELD vehicle…”

 

“You will not hand over the keys unless I say yes.” She said it as a statement not a question. She knew Fury too well.

 

“Exactly.” He said placing the keys in her hand.

 

“Phil always believed that humanity--people were worth saving and you are people. Maybe one of the most important. You need saving as much as anyone else. I would be letting Phil down again if I didn’t try.” With that, Fury turned and strode away leaving her alone once more, but for the first time in weeks she felt like she had a purpose.

To be continued


	6. Helped Me Pepper, You’re My Only Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last chapter. Also, thank you for all the kudos.
> 
> Just a reminder that this story diverges at the end of season one of AOS although elements from parts of later cannon will be incorporated. Actually, the point of divergence is right before episode 1.19 where May decides to pay Stark a little visit. (It could be Fury giving May her special assignment as well.) From there, the butterfly effect takes over. 
> 
>  
> 
> Certain things from AOS season two and Avengers 2 will happen in the next story but others will not. I tried to cut down on the influence by getting this chapter written before the new episodes started to air but I ended up rewriting pieces of it to fit better. It’s so mixed in with things from my imagination that you may not be able to pick it out unless you have seen episode 2.1 of AOS or at least read the official synopsis for Avengers 2. That being said, this chapter does contain light spoilers for episode 2.1.
> 
>  
> 
> Additional warnings: I did end up rewriting portions of this chapter after proofreading. Also the wonderful Grayson Steele is on vacation and Heather, who normally does my Ugly Betty stories, graciously agreed to help so I could get this chapter out to you sooner. I apologize for more typos and shifting of tenses than normal.

 

As many years as she has worked with Tony Stark, Pepper should not be at all surprised that he did not show up for today's board meeting. Not at all. Neither is she surprised that he sent Maria instead. She just wasn't sure if he didn't show up because he was caught up working on a project.

 

Most likely, it was his flying vintage convertible that Maria got him as an apology gift. He mumbled something about perfecting cloaking technology for the vehicle last time they talked. Or there was a crisis in the Middle East that he had to deal with directly, or he was too busy being with Steve. With Tony, anything was possible and she wasn’t even entirely sure, which possibility she preferred.

 

At least, if he was caught up in Steve, it meant that he wasn’t doing something that could possibly get him killed. Contrary to what most assumed (Natasha and Maria) she wasn’t that upset about the Steve thing. At the very least, the two of them being together now proves that she wasn’t crazy or was just seeing things.There was something there between the two underneath the bickering and complaining. The whole thing reminded her of a schoolboy crush, especially when you consider all the Captain America collectibles, including the ones that were more porn than propaganda, that Tony had her purchase when she first became his assistant.

 

It was just easier to deal with this readjustment in their relationship with Tony being four hours away or about 20 minute by suit the way Tony flies, than being with him in person. Things were awkward with him. While she was okay with Steve, she was not ready to deal with Tony covered in bite makes just yet (or the snide remarks of the press, regarding said bite marks). Text messages and emails gave her some time to figure out what she was going to say, when the same couldn't be said of in person contact.

 

She was upset with him for keeping the truth about Coulson being alive from her. She doesn't entirely believe that Phil was only clinically dead for a few seconds. It felt like there should be more to the story but she's too afraid to question it. Pepper was also upset about him not telling her about sleeping with Steve right away. Maybe, it was her fault for not explaining the boundaries of the relationship. Maybe, the fact that they never talked about their expectations was the biggest problem of all.

 

Tony was mad at her for automatically assuming that he couldn't do a monogamous relationship. Considering he slept with Steve, she made the right call on that. However, the best friend side of her will take Steve Rogers over most of the brainless people that he fucked in the past. In a way that’s part of the problem because she knows that Steve Rogers will be there for a while and take over a lot of functions that she used to do. This was another thing she had to get used to.

 

Don’t get her wrong, she doesn’t hate Steve. Under different circumstances, they probably would’ve ended up really good friends. Maybe, they could still get there eventually, but not today. They had lunch together to days ago before Steve return to Arlington. He brought her flowers again. This time, they were her favorite. The last bouquet was meant for Jonathan Triplet’s wife, who just happened to be his ex’s daughter.

 

It was Tony’s now fired assistant that assume that Captain America could take over the meet and greet with the head of accounting and his wife/daughter of a long-lost friend, while she and Tony left for their own ‘romantic’ evening. She fired the woman for that ridiculous notion alone. There was no place for someone that manipulative at Stark Industries, especially after the recent purging. Lunch with Steve was peaceful but slightly uncomfortable. At least he didn’t apologize as much this time.

 

She had no prior history with Steve before Tony, other than a couple of lunches and dinners, all with Tony there. They were building things fresh. However, because of her lack of communication with Tony about certain expectations of their relationship she was building her relationship with Steve on a fractured foundation. He felt guilty for breaking up their relationship and she felt guilt not ending things with Tony earlier.

 

It was easier to pretend that Tony and she were like they used to be when she communicated with Tony via email. It's easier to mask being upset with each other through the written word. It's easier for them to get back to who they were before the Malibu fiasco, before New York, before they were a couple, before the Palladium poisoning, before Afghanistan, to get back to their friendship.

 

At least, this time around she will not be forced to pick up dry cleaning for his fucks of the evening. She’s pretty sure that Steve actually loves Tony, so there’s some consolation there. (There’s also more guilt for holding on to her romantic relationship with Tony when she knew it wasn’t working for her anymore.) So, under the circumstances it was better for Tony and Steve to be in DC, at least until they could work through things.

 

The downside of this current arrangement was she could not just go down to the lab and drag Tony out when he gets stuck in there for whatever reason. Steve could but they were too early into the relationship. Steve was still in the wanting to indulge Tony stage. Also, she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to pass that duty on to someone else, anyway. That meant that she was dependent on JARVIS for her Tony Intel.

 

"Where's Tony?" She asked the AI when she arrived back in her own office. She was also making her way to the bar. She had this feeling that whatever Tony was doing would require alcohol for her to deal with it. That was usually the case with Tony Stark.

 

"I'm not at liberty to say." The problem with being depended on Jarvis was Tony could program the AI to not answer her questions.

 

"Just please tell me it's not Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, or Ukraine for that matter.” Actually there were dozens of countries in a state of unrest. The world seemed to fall apart in the six weeks since the fall of SHIELD.

 

"He is in none of those locations." Jarvis replied but she was uncertain if she could trust the AI. He could only be as honest as Tony programed him to be.

 

"Okay, where is Steve?" She asked instead, certain that Tony was probably less restrictive on what information Jarvis could give her regarding his boyfriend. It was also highly probable that Tony would be with Steve.

 

"I'm not at liberty to say." The AI replied curtly.

 

"I'm assuming that they are together?" Pepper pinched the bridge of her nose and poured herself something very hard.

 

"Yes." The AI finally answered in the affirmative.

 

"Are they on a romantic retreat?" She threw back her shot at that question. Just because she's okay with Tony moving on to Steve, does not mean she will let him out of his responsibilities as head of R&D and the majority shareholder just so he can fuck around with his not quite 30 something boyfriend.

 

"I would not consider a secret quasi-military base the prime location for a romantic retreat." Jarvis quipped. That meant that Steve and Tony were doing something mission related not that they were really taking orders from anyone now that SHIELD was gone. At least, that was more excusable than the alternative. She just wished Tony told her that he would have to miss the board meeting. They could probably get away with rescheduling for superhero work.

 

Of course, the board probably wouldn’t be that happy that he was doing superhero work again. They were furious about the fallout from the SHIELD contract even though they were all smiles when Stark Industries first received the billion dollar contract.

 

"May I at least speak with him?" She asked pouring herself another drink.

 

"Sir, left specific instructions..."

 

“I don’t care. I want to speak with him now.” She cut off the AI before it gives another excuse. “Tony can't just not show up to a board meeting, at least not anymore. I may be in charge of this company but it's still his responsibility especially now that he has us taking over the responsibilities once held by SHIELD.”

 

She wasn't entirely sure how she felt about her company being dragged into the ‘international security industry’. On the one hand, she was happy to be protecting her friend from someplace worse than Guantánamo Bay, per Talbot’s threats (despite Maria’s participation in the great Phil conspiracy) but she was worried that someday this company may be destroyed because Tony takes things too far.

 

"Mr. Stark gave me specific instructions that you, Dr. Banner, or Dr. Triplet may contact him but no one else.” She wondered why Dr. Triplett was on that list but Jarvis continued before she could ask. “However, there is no need for you to contact him because Mr. Stark is calling you right now."

 

“Put the call through,” Pepper sighed. It is never a good sign when Tony calls her when he’s on a mission.

 

"I think I fucked up." Tony said the moment Jarvis put him through.

 

"What did you do to Steve?" She asked without even thinking.

 

"Why do you automatically think I did something to Steve?"

 

"Why else would you call me? Anybody else you would just send them an apology gift basket."

 

Although incarceration was another possibility, especially if the U.S. military was involved. James informed her that the Air Force is angry as hell because of the Canada/Colonel Talbot situation. There were people that were ready to make the guy an Admiral for the way he handled the ‘SHIELD terrorists’ but letting the Canadians know that he secretly invaded their country derailed those plans. Some people in power were upset that they lost the prospective head of their new counter espionage task force and it wouldn’t be surprising at all if they did something in retaliation.

 

“I am aware that money and presents doesn't fix everything." Tony mumbled under breath.

 

“I can’t believe you just said that. That’s usually your default for solving most problems.” In reality that was mostly pre-Afghanistan but she did not want to say that out loud.

 

“Money can solve a lot of problems but not everything. If it could I would've had a much happier childhood." He quipped. “Don’t get me wrong it does help. You're speaking to me again after the great Coulson fiasco. I like to think the shoe basket had something to do with that.”

 

“I have not stopped taking your phone calls, emails, or text messages.” Pepper took a long drink. She can handle Tony on the phone but in person was harder. But she doesn’t tell him that. “At least when we are not in the same state we don’t have to deal with our respective assistance trying to play matchmaker. It’s easier to deal with things when it is just us.” Pepper joked instead.

 

“I blame television for people thinking that they can fix complex relationship issues with a fancy dinner and a bottle of wine.” Tony remarked and she was rolling her eyes. Considering he thought that he could use a box of strawberries to accomplish the same thing she hoped he was being sarcastic.

 

“We should've ended our romantic relationship sooner. It's been falling apart for a while." Pepper nearly whispers.

 

“I thought we could fix things. And once I realized that I could not- I didn't want to lose you and now things are..." Tony stopped midsentence unable to continue.

 

“We are trying to get back to that friendship. That means I will listen to you explain why you fucked up as long as it doesn't involve your new boyfriend or me getting you out of jail.”

 

“I would’ve called Jen or Jane, if that were the case.” For some reason finding out that Tony would call PR or legal first made Pepper sad. Things really were different now.

 

“All the same, I will be happy to sit here and find out what you were doing that was so important that you missed a major meeting with the board."

 

"You're upset about that?"

 

"You sent Maria." Pepper was tempted to place her head down on the bar. Sometimes talking to Tony was like dealing with a five-year-old.

 

"Hey, the major reason for this meeting was Maria. I wanted them to know that she could be a trusted member of the Stark Industries family." Tony said in his voice usually reserved for handling the paparazzi.

 

"You were planning for the board to eat her alive." She knew all about the secret war going on between Maria and Tony. Maria was mad about Tony cheating on her, despite Pepper’s assertions that she didn’t see it that way and Tony was upset with her regarding the blackmail porn collection. Okay, Pepper was a little upset about that as well, which was why she agreed to participate in some of Tony’s mind games.

 

“I was planning for her to eat the board alive. She's dealt with terrorists and members of Congress. The board are kittens in comparison. Kittens that like to scratch your eyes out, but still kittens." In some ways Tony was right about that.

 

“Despite the fact it went find, you still should have told me what you were planning. Thankfully, they are less likely to think you're completely crazy. They are still questioning why you're taking in so many former members of a supposed terrorist organization." They were also questioning her regarding why she was going along with it but Tony didn’t need to know about that.

 

"By their logic, they should also be questioning why I rescued people from Hammer and Cybertek." Although in the case of Cybertek, the rescue was a bit more literal and most of those employees were part of Stark Industries before their loved ones were kidnapped to garner their cooperation.

 

“Really, I’m just trying to give talented people a reason to not work for the enemy. If we get our hands on revolutionary tech, all the better. Think of it as another type of philanthropy but with the possibility of some sort of financial return. That’s all the vultures care about anyway.”

 

“You know better than to try logic on the board." Pepper quipped.

 

"Because they have no logic or heart for that matter," Tony retorted.

 

"Where are you?" Pepper asked again trying to get back on subject.

 

“Steve and I decided to test out my latest project by taking it for a little joyride. We ended up running into an old friend. You know the one that we thought was dead for the last two years." Tony replied cryptically.

 

He's with Phil, which explained why JARVIS could not give Pepper an exact location. It also explained why Tony won't give a name. Maria explained in excruciating detail the many reasons why they needed to keep the fact that Phil survived a secret for the last two years including the fact that Hydra and certain factions of the military wanted to study the techniques used to keep him alive. That was another reason why she questioned the “dead for 40 seconds” story she was given. Something just doesn’t quite add up.

 

"So what happen?" Pepper sighed.

 

"I came to the middle of nowhere, which is closer to the district of insanity than I thought it would be, to drop off his afterlife crisis car that I completely rehabilitated. I also came to offer him and his team the same help we gave Maria." Tony started to explain.

 

“You’re already giving him that help. I know what you ordered the lawyers to do." She responded not really buying Tony’s explanation.

 

"Okay, I'm may have talk to him about the nonprofit and getting money for said nonprofit but he was kind of pissed at me. He doesn't want our Future Foundation to end up like its predecessor or maybe he’s upset about the private sector involvement. I don’t know."

 

"We are not calling it that.” During their lunch together after they dealt with the assistant unpleasantness, Tony told her all about his plan to start a nonprofit that would replace SHIELD. Really, she should've known that he was planning to get Phil to run it. It's not like he really trusted Maria, not that Pepper can blame him. Besides from a purely practical standpoint, the former deputy director of SHIELD cannot be in charge of the new organization because too many people will question her credibility.

 

"Agent bristled when I mentioned the name as well. But it's not like we can use the old name. Branding issues."

 

"Tony!" She said exasperated.

 

"Okay, that's beside the point. I came here for other reasons, some of which are too classify for even a stark-cryptic phone call. Do you remember Steve's sort of girlfriend May Phillips?"

 

"I think we had dinner with her once." Pepper said vaguely remembering the name. She remembered refereeing one of Tony and Steve’s early dinners with the State Department assistant. She admired the woman for keeping Tony and Steve on their best behavior when they were still antagonizing each other.

 

"You also saw her break three chairs at Agent’s funeral.” It took Pepper a second to figure out what Tony was talking about. However she did remember the incident vividly because she was the one who had to keep the funeral home from pressing charges.

 

“Apparently, she has a lot in common with Nat." Pepper was almost sure that Tony was trying to tell her that Steve’s former girlfriend or whatever was an under covered SHIELD operative and thankfully not one that was also a Hydra operative. That’s what her final conversation with Phil came back to her.

 

"Is her first name Melinda?"

 

"Yes. She was the girl that Agent told you about before everything went fucking crazy." Tony confirmed her theory.

 

"Look…I can't tell you everything but agent doesn't remember your conversation. I'm not even sure if he remembers acknowledging that he was in love with her." She knew Tony well enough to know that he was keeping something big from her by the tone of his voice alone.

"They did something to him?" Considering everything that Pepper has learned about SHIELD in the last six weeks she wouldn’t be surprised.

 

"Yes. And I tried to undo it by getting agent to realize that ninja neighbor has feelings for him but everything kind of blew up. Now agent is sulking in his private plane/office and I think Steve is currently getting beat up by the only woman I find more deadly than Natalie," he said using Natasha’s old cover name.

 

"There's something you're not telling me. You didn't just do this to get rid of the competition? I doubt Steve is going to leave you for a younger model." Despite the uncomfortable nature of that dinner last week she could tell that Steve actually cared about Tony.

 

“You are the second person to say that. That’s not what I’m doing. I already gave Steve an out weeks ago and he didn’t take it so I think were okay. Besides she's six years older than me, so technically, I’m the younger model."

 

"She is older than you?" Pepper asked incredulously. The woman looked younger than Pepper.

 

"That is what the file said before it was destroyed." Tony quipped. "I just wanted to fix things but it blew up in my face and now I’m calling you to figure out how I should actually fix things."

"What were you trying to fix?"

 

“Agent being alone and hiding in a bunker. I told you that I offered to make him the new head of the Future Foundation." Tony started.

 

"And I told you again that we are not calling it that." Pepper sniped.

 

"So Agent Scary ran away from Agent after telling him that she was in love with him." Tony explained.

 

"You know this how? Were you listening in on their conversation?" She wouldn’t be surprised if he did.

 

"That's not important." Tony said a little too quickly. Pepper was going to count that as a confession.

 

“You used JARVIS to spy on your friends?" She asked incredulously.

 

"Actually, Lola but that's not important."

 

"Who or what is a Lola?" She always got worried when Tony mentioned a new project that she wasn’t familiar with. Let’s put it this way, R&D has a betting pool on when Tony will develop a killer robot/AI that will try to destroy humanity. Actually, they have multiple betting pools of that nature going on.

 

"A very important part of my childhood." At that Tony started to tell her about speaking to Phil after May ran away. Steve followed behind May in an effort to calm her down and Tony went to help Phil. Tony’s idea of helping was showing the man a video file where May confessed her feelings for him while practically having sex with Steve and another file where she was practically crying as she packed up his things after Phil’s supposed death. Afterwards, Tony started to go into his plans for funding his new superhero nonprofit with Coulson at the head.

 

"Anyway long story short, he got pissed off and shot me with one of those special non-lethal guns I was telling you about. Funny, I was only out for about five minutes when I probably should've been out for an hour." At this moment, she downed her entire shot in one drink. It was too early in the day for Tony to do this to her.

 

"I would've shot you too. What the hell were you thinking showing a guy a video of the woman he's in love with having sex with someone else?” She was trying not to scream but it wasn’t working.

 

“First of all, I did not actually show him that video, I just told him about it.” Tony said in his defense. “The sex doesn’t happen until after her confession and I don’t think it matters because it is his favorite fantasy crush. That just makes it porn. I found the video enjoyable. Not that one because of the crying over agent but the others were… I would watch a video of you and Steve together.”

 

‘This is the reason why I did not think you could do monogamy.’ Pepper thought to herself but to keep this argument from getting worse she did not tell him this. “I’m not sure if he would agree with you.” Pepper said out loud instead.

 

“I think he was much more upset seeing the video file where the cranky pirate made her the official Avengers babysitter. This file contains her practically crying as she packed up agent’s belongings because the bastard decided to wait six, practically seven months to tell her the truth.”

 

“I’m not sure that gave Phil reason to shoo…”

 

“Okay, the shooting may have been caused because he didn’t like my plans for the agency we cannot speak of. He thinks I'm trying to take over.” Pepper started rubbing her temple at that point. She was starting to get a Tony migraine.

 

“That's what you've been doing for the last six weeks.” Pepper told him pointedly. “That's why you've been in DC dealing with those you refer to as congressional kindergartners. It's why you've been having the SI lawyers..."

 

"That's not the only reason.” Tony cut her off. “I'm trying to keep Steve safe. Actually, I’m trying to keep all of us safe. Half of Congress wants to put Steve and Natasha on trial and others want to lock both away in some secret prison without a trial. And you know the military wants Steve back. Either for propaganda purposes or as a lab rat, I’m not sure which. They consider him just another SHIELD asset, like the millions of other things that they’ve seized over the last six weeks and don’t know how to deal with. That was one of the things Colonel Talbot threatened me with after the Canada incident. Then again, Talbot was probably so fixated on agent because agent was the one who protected Steve from them in the first place.”

 

Sometimes she thinks that’s the real reason why Tony turned the soon to be former Colonel over to the Canadians and is so fixated on helping Phil. Of course, getting on better terms with the Canadian government can only help SI.

 

“I’m already well aware that certain entities are more interested in getting their hands on old SHIELD’s toys than keeping the peace.” Pepper sighed again.

 

“Thanks to finding daddy’s secret bunker underneath the Arlington house, the lawyers have a means to keep the dangerous tech out of the hands of idiots. I’m sure the board is happy about the fact we now hold the patent for the Quinjet. But Steve is not a piece of tech.” The bunker contained hundreds of hard copy documents relating to SHIELD including the original charter. Most of it not part of the data dump. All of it very helpful in putting things back together. “Too bad this wasn't four years ago, we would have had a really easy way to keep him out." Tony joked.

 

"I'm sure the military would have just ended ‘don't ask, don't tell’ faster." She replied dryly.

 

“I’m sure they would have. Steve did have the only desegregated unit in World War II." Tony mumbled to himself.

 

“Look, I understand what you’re trying to do but you can't fix everything Tony." She is well aware that Tony tends to treat people like his robots and it looks like this is another one of those cases. What Tony has yet to realize was that people are not robots.

 

“I understand that. If everything could be fixed, you and I would still be together." There was a hint of sadness and maybe remorse in his voice.

 

"We're still friends or trying to be. Maybe this is what we are meant to be. Tony, we tried but we weren’t compatible at least not as a romantic couple. You wanted to save the world with a spouse and kids by your side and I want a boyfriend who isn’t trying to save the world all the time in a way that may get him killed. When it comes down to it we weren’t enough for each other, I wasn’t enough for you."

 

She tried very hard to keep her voice even, but Pepper wasn’t sure she did a good enough job. At least over the phone he can’t see her hand shaking just a little.

 

“You’ve always been enough. I liked retirement. In it’s not like I could actually have kids or should for that matter. So I was fine with you not wanting any. Thanks to the Palladium poisoning it’s now really easy to deal with fake paternity suits.” Again, Tony was using his ‘faking it’ voice. She was very familiar with that voice because Tony usually used it whenever he was in close proximity to the board. But she always picked up on this sad look in his eyes every time they talked about his infertility. She knew he was in pain.

 

“If you liked retirement, you would have stayed retired. It wasn’t right of me to ask you --to expect you to give it up. Not just being a superhero but other things. You and Steve can adopt.”

 

“Not that I had the best example but that would be like painting a giant ‘please kidnap my child’ sign on their back. Talk to Jonathan’s wife about what that’s like.” Again statements like these make her wonder if Tony’s keeping something from her.

 

“Just being a billionaire makes you a target. The fact that you’re actually thinking about this issue makes you more suitable than most people.” She’s happy that he really is thinking things through.

 

“Why are we even talking about this? It’s not like Steve and I are-- we’ve been together five weeks and 20% of that time has involved chasing down the ghost of best friends past. Steve still has his own bedroom at the Arlington house. He would still have his own apartment if it was safe for him to live somewhere else. Can we get back to the fixing agent thing?” Tony sighed.

 

“Do you think there will ever be a time when it won't be awkward between us?"

 

"I don't know.” She wanted things to get back to a good place but she wasn’t certain if it ever will. At least not anytime soon. “Let me talk to Agent. I can’t promise that I’ll fix things but at least let me see if I can get him to not shoot at you again."

To be continued.


	7. Pepper is good at this, I Am Not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last chapter. The first part of this chapter was originally part of the last chapter, but because I did so many revisions after season two started I decided to send it back for proofreading. I even added an extra scene to this chapter. 
> 
> I was sort of planning something like this before, but I wasn’t sure if it was in character or not. However, what happened in the first episode proved to me that it could happen this way. I’m still amazed at how little I was Jossed by the shows so far. Even May and Coulson are giving off a married couple vibe. Episode 2.4 pictures anyone?
> 
> I decided that the Playground is located somewhere in the Panhandle of West Virginia or thereabouts. I already felt that this would be a great location for a secret base, but the first episode leads me to believe that they may be using a similar location. The Playground has to be in an isolated location that’s close enough to the DC Metro that you can get there quite quickly by car. An abandoned coal mine would be perfect cover and have flat space to land a plane, although SHIELD planes are special. However, the second episode leads me to believe that it’s supposed to be in Roslyn (or somewhere in the vicinity) but as somebody that lives here, I don’t think that would work. Also, I’ve already planned something else for DC. Go with my interpretation.

Phil sat at his desk with drink in hand not sure what he should do. Shooting Tony probably was the wrong thing, but he couldn’t take it anymore and needed to get away. Part of him wanted to take Lola for a drive but it was too dangerous even if there was nothing around except abandoned coal mines and mountains. Besides he couldn't leave. This was why he was hiding his office (the one in the bus, not the one in the Playground with views of essentially nothing), drink in hand watching the video files that Tony gave to him. This time he was focusing on the more recent file.

 

Phil is almost positive he has never seen Melinda actually cry tears of sadness before. She didn't cry after receiving the divorce papers and she didn't cry after Bahrain. She didn't cry when SHIELD imploded, when she realized that Ward was screwing them all over, or after what happened to Fitz. She gets angry not sad and even then her anger is channeled into something productive.

 

In fact, the only time he has ever witness her cry at all was the first time they saw each other after his resurrection when Nick brought her to his apartment unannounced. They were happy tears, so he doesn’t count those.

 

But seeing this exchange between lovers was heartbreaking:

 

“Sometimes at night when I’m alone I wonder what it would have been like to kiss him just once and have it means something. I was always afraid of ruining everything and then it was too late.” May confessed after taking a shot of the same type of alcohol that Tony brought Phil earlier. Without even saying his name, Phil was almost certain Melinda was talking about him. “First, he was with Audrey and then he was gone. Now, I wish I’d done it anyway.” He drained his entire glass when she said Audrey’s name. The last bit of doubt in his mind that this conversation was about him removed. It was about how much pain his death caused her.

 

“I understand,” Steve kissed her cheek gently. Thankfully, the gesture seemed more about giving comfort than overtly sexual. It seemed like their whole relationship was about comfort. Maybe that’s what she’d meant when she said it only happened because Phil was gone.

 

He shouldn’t be upset about this. He wasn’t upset about Audrey moving on and they were actually together at the time of his death. Yet, watching these two be so intimate with each other bothered him and only a small part of that could be traced to his Captain America crush.

 

“I don’t think you do because at the same time, I would have been just as happy to be Audrey’s bridesmaid if it just meant that Ph-James was still alive.” The fact that May was so distraught that she almost dropped cover scared him.

 

“I could deal with him spending the rest of his life married to someone else as long as I knew he had a really good life. As long as he was still with me, I could deal with it. As long as I still had his friendship, it would be okay.” That’s when Melinda may completely fell apart in Steve Rogers’ arms. The tears only subsided a little when she kissed the Captain so hard that he fell into the wall behind them.

 

He quickly stop the file. It wasn’t because of the sex that would most likely follow. He couldn’t keep watching because he couldn’t take seeing her cry like that. Tears were already running down his own cheeks. He hates seeing her in pain, broken.

 

He doesn’t know what to do now that he has proof that Melinda May is in love with him. These files are the most honest that he's ever seen her. Part of Phil was upset that Melinda was only able to be this honest with someone else even if he was the subject of such confessions.

 

This also raised the question of why she neglected to tell him any of this after he returned from the dead. Why was she keeping this from him? He understands why she kept TAHITI from him. Actually, why she did what she did makes even more sense now. The night everything fell apart she said she did what she did because she cared about him. And now that he has seen these two video files, he knows exactly what that meant. But what does he do now?

 

He's had relationships with other agents before and it's ended in disaster, almost dying, or reassignment. His relationship with Clint was one of the few that did not end up that way. However, their friendship was never the same and that made Phil very wary of risking another friendship.

 

His last relationship before Clint was what caused him to put a moratorium on dating fellow agents in the first place. Of course, he broke that moratorium for Clint because Hawkeye doesn’t take no for an answer. (Melinda May does not either.)

 

The incident involved a girlfriend, who sold secrets to a terrorist organization and then had him tortured for more secrets which resulted in him being forced to kill her. In hindsight, Phil wondered if she was actually Hydra and the entire incident was engineered to break his faith in the agency and go over to the Hydra side. The only thing that incident succeeded in doing was to make Phil decide to never date a fellow agent.

 

Except he broke that rule for Clint. He was grateful it didn't implode; they just didn't work. Basically, Clint said that Phil was meant for better things and felt that they should go back to just being friends. A short time later he met Audrey and he didn’t think about it again. If he broke that rule once, he could do it again. But did he want to deal with another fractured friendship? Maybe that’s the real reason for his reluctance.

 

At the same time, things are much more complicated now. He is trying to put SHIELD back together again. Other agents would soon be arriving (Isabella and possibly Dr. Hand, Victoria Hand’s widow). What kind of example would he be setting for his agents if he started dating his Deputy Director? Phil was going to make her his second in command because she was the only one he trusted in the position especially with things as precarious they are right now. They already made a deal; he was in charge of rebuilding SHIELD and she was in charge of him.

 

He didn't have time to think about this anymore because he heard footsteps approaching his office. He quickly grabbed his ICER and pointed it at the door.

 

“Don’t shoot or rather don't shoot again. I can only take being knocked unconscious once a day." Even though it was Tony, he still kept the weapon on him.

 

"You should still be unconscious." He said slightly concerned. May woke up in a fraction of the time it normally takes for somebody to recover from an ICER shot as well. Maybe something was wrong with the ammo?

 

He couldn’t ask Simmons to look into it because she was in a bad place as evidenced by her earlier breakdown. Without Fitz here, her heart wasn’t into this anymore. She hated not being able to visit the engineer even though they were less than 90 minutes away. Simmons was even more upset about the fact she couldn’t even let her parents know that she was all right. Phil was tempted to ask Tony to take her back to SI. At least then she could have of life where she could talk to her parents and spend time with Fitz. Part of his mission was to find people who were dedicated to their mission to help humanity and he wasn’t entirely sure about her right now. (Also today’s outburst proves that she needs psychological help that they can’t provide right now.)

 

"I think there's something off. I had the same problem with Agent Scary." Stark’s words echoed his earlier thoughts.

 

“I’m not apologizing for shooting you." Phil said finally putting the gun away.

 

“It’s fine. I don't blame you and I get it. You’re finally no longer under the Pirate’s control and you want to do things your way." That was probably the closest Tony Stark would ever come to apologizing.

 

"That's not exactly..." Phil started, but was cut off by Stark.

 

"The money from the patents is still yours or rather the organizations. I think most law enforcement agencies would be interested in ICERs." Phil could actually hear stammering. That was strange for Tony.

 

"You're out of the weapons business." Phil responded.

 

"I'm out of the killing people business. We still make things like body armor, flying suits, and other things to keep people from getting killed in the field. Anything that keeps an innocent kid from being shot to death counts. We can talk numbers in a few weeks. Pepper wants to speak with you." Tony tossed a cell phone at him.

 

“Are you using a regular cell phone in a secure facility?" Phil asked annoyed throwing the phone back to Stark. If they have to evacuate tonight because of Stark, Phil was going to shoot him again and this time it won’t be an ICER. “It was bad enough you showed up in the middle of the day.”

 

“Genius, remember. First, I came here in stealth mode. So did Steve for that matter. Your car now has cloaking technology and if you asked nicely, I may arrange for something similar for your bigger baby.”

 

“The phone?” Phil asked because even though they probably needed the cloaking technology for the bus, he wasn’t going to beg Stark for it.

 

“This is the Stark Tech 2792, a Stark-crypted satellite phone. NSA couldn't pick this up even if they knew about it. There’s a bunch of this stuff in the trunk of Lola. I figured you guys could use some..."

 

“Equipment not on the frequency monitored by Hydra or other agencies that hate us?" Phil supplied.

 

"Yes, just talk to Pepper." Tony said as he pushed the phone into Phil’s hand and promptly left.

 

"Tell me again why did you date him?" Phil asked pulling the receiver to his ear, hoping that she would not start yelling at him immediately for not telling her about being back.

 

"I was in love with him. I still love him. He's my best friend. As you know, sometimes it just doesn’t work out." Pepper explained with a sighed.

 

“Talking about your failed relationship with Stark is the wrong way to convince me that friends can become lovers.” Phil retorted.

 

"My romantic relationship with Tony did not fall apart because we were friends first.” There was a touch of annoyance in her words.

 

“Honestly, I think that's the only reason why it lasted as long as it did. If I wasn't his friend, I would've ended things after New York. That's when I realized I wasn't cut out to be the superhero girlfriend or more accurately I wasn’t cut out to be Tony’s girlfriend, but I kept trying to make things work because Tony was-is my best friend. It's just I realize we wanted different things and when Steve came along I realized it was better to let it go and try to get back to that friendship. By holding on to things, we were keeping each other from where we should be."

 

"How is that going?" Phil asked remembering the last time he dated a friend. They tried to get back to what they were before, but they never really did get there. Maybe things would’ve been different if New York had never happened, but it did. He’s really not looking forward to what will happen when Clint finds out the truth. It will be a small miracle if he walks out of that encounter without an arrow sticking out of a very important appendage.

 

He's not sure if he wants to risk what he has with Melinda. She’s too important to him. He needs her.

 

It’s not like it was in the old days. Even if things fall apart, they have to stay together. It's not like the organization is big enough at the moment to transfer to the other side of the globe so you don't have to see each other on a daily basis. They are the team right now and that’s not going to change until he can start bringing others into the organization again. (With the funding from Stark, he may be able to start doing that sooner rather than later.) Even then he was still the one in charge. They would have to keep working together no matter what.

 

"We're good with phone calls. In person is slightly more difficult, but that may have something to do with the fact that my assistant is trying to get us back together and we are bombarded with questions about why we are no longer a couple.” Pepper told him with a touch of irritation. “Even though things are currently strained, I don’t regret the fact that we did try. We had a good couple of years together. It’s better to try something and fail, then to never try at all."

 

"Have you considered getting another assistant?" Phil suggested ignoring the second part of her statement.

 

"HR has had to let go of 10% of our workforce in the last six weeks. Apparently, we were infiltrated by Hydra operatives, representatives from other terrorist groups, industrial spies, and government spies from other agencies. I personally blame Obadiah.” Pepper sighed. “Human resources doesn’t have the candidates to get me a new assistant right now."

 

"Melinda is a very efficient assistant. If she still hates me in the morning, I'm sure she would be willing to work for you." Phil suggested in all seriousness. Even though it would hurt him, he would let her go if that’s what she needed.

 

"I doubt she hates you."

 

"She is in love with me and that's the problem." Phil told her finishing his drink from earlier.

 

"Why is that a problem? Is it because you no longer feel that way about her?" Pepper questioned.

 

"It's not that I don't care -- what do you mean by ‘no longer’?" Phil asked slightly confused by her wording.

 

“Tony told me that you have gaps in your memory about things that happened right before New York. Someday soon we will have a very long conversation about you not telling me that you were still with us. Unfortunately, it’s not the type of conversation you have over the phone." Pepper’s voice was slightly higher at that point. Okay, she was very irritated. Actually, Phil was surprised she didn’t start yelling about that the moment this phone call began.

 

"I was ordered not to tell anyone." Saying that seemed so hollow especially after watching Melinda fall apart just minutes earlier. People were affected by his death. They had a right to know the truth.

 

Another part of him, who sounded suspiciously like Fury, reminded Phil it was for their own safety. Just how far would Hydra have gone to find out the TAHITI truth? Would they have kidnapped and/or tortured his friends? Was that the reason why he was told to stay away?

 

"Maria explained all the reasons why we couldn't know. I still don't believe half of them. I am very mad at my friend because of that." Again that was obvious from her tone.

 

"You are still friends after..." Phil was not sure how to phrase the question especially if she was unaware of the sex tape.

 

“I know about the blackmail sex tapes. I am mostly not mad or rather only slightly upset about it because the only reason why Maria had the tape was she removed it from the system to protect me. She didn't want me to be humiliated by everybody knowing that my boyfriend cheated on me with Captain America." Pepper explained.

 

“Even though I didn’t quite see it that way, I don’t feel like watching talking heads on V News speculate about my love life and my ability to be a CEO if I can’t keep my boyfriend happy. The network is owned by Tony’s prick ex-whatever Tiberius Stone and they enjoy dragging us through the mud a little too much. The fact that I consider Tony and I to be in an open relationship would give them just as much ammunition as actual cheating regardless.”

 

“If that is true, why did she take the footage of Captain Rogers and Melinda together?" Phil asked as he just doesn’t believe that Maria was that altruistic, not anymore.

 

"She didn't want Hydra to use it against him. She said that there were a lot of intense things on those files that would damage Steve’s reputation if it became public knowledge." Pepper explained, but it seemed too much like an excuse.

 

The way Phil saw it was Maria knew things were going bad and she took the files as a personal insurance policy. Considering they have already picked up chatter regarding a former SHIELD agent selling whatever they could to the highest bidder, he should be happy that she’s using something as relatively benign as a sex tape to save herself. It did less damage than her giving Providence over to Talbot.

 

"I don't want details. I'm starting to think the entire reason that Stark told me about Melinda being in love with me was to keep her away from Steve.” For some reason, Pepper started laughing hysterically.

 

“According to Tony that’s not the case and honestly Tony would just suggest a threesome.” Pepper said once the giggling stopped. “Do you want to know the story of why I'm not mad about the Tony/Steve thing?"

 

“Yes, mostly because it will probably take you less than an hour to explain." Phil sighed. He really did want to know because nobody could be that gracious.

 

“You gave me a ride to the airport and I was trying to get more information on the mission you wanted to send Tony on. Being the agent that you are, you distracted me by talking about Audrey and the break up. I guess it really wasn’t an actual breakup at that point. You were still technically together, but you were wondering if you should end things officially or follow her to Portland." Pepper explained.

 

“I don’t remember this conversation." He tried to concentrate on the missing moment, but it still did not come back to him.

 

"It happened though." The woman on the other side of the line assured him.

 

“I believe you.” He does because Pepper would never lie to him.

 

"The number one reason why you didn't want to leave was a fellow officer you called Melinda. She was your best friend, especially after things got awkward between you and Agent Burton post-breakup. I kept pushing and you finally admitted that you were in love with her, but you were afraid. You were afraid of what would happen if your friendship with Melinda became something more. You were afraid of a repeat of what happened with you and Clint. You were comfortable with Audrey. You knew what you were getting with her. She was not an unknown. At the same time, there was so much about your life you couldn't tell her so much she couldn't know. You told me you liked that aspect in the beginning, but as time went by it became harder to keep up the façade. By the time we reached the airport, I managed to convince you to tell your Melinda how you felt because it would be worth the risk if she felt the same way about you. Then you d—died and that never happened." Pepper choked up a little bit. It almost sounded like she was crying. Fuck!

 

"Things are too complicated to pick back up from there." Phil wished he could go back to before New York or even just before the fall of old SHIELD. Everything was so much simpler then. For example, he wasn’t on the run from people who wanted to use him to find out how to resurrect the dead nor did the FBI consider him a terrorist.

 

"Why are things so complicated?" Pepper asked.

 

"This line is not encrypted enough for that conversation." He wasn’t joking. Although, in all honesty, it was just an excuse. He wasn’t ready to talk about everything.

 

“I have this strange feeling that’s true."

 

“What does this long story have to do with you and Tony?" Phil asked slightly impatient. He has listened to too many long stories today.

 

“You have no idea how much your death affected me--us. I didn't want Tony to make the same mistake you did. Actually, I didn’t want to make the mistake you did, remaining in a relationship because it was easier than going after what you really want. In the end, I realized Tony and I were only staying together because it was comfortable, but we weren’t right for each other. We were making too many sacrifices to stay together. Tony was giving up being a superhero and of raising a family someday while I was putting up with someone who could not give me the emotional support I needed or any sense of normalcy and stability. When Steve almost died, I knew it was time to let go.” Pepper’s voice started to crack a little.

 

“At your funeral, I watched your Melinda completely destroy a room because your death hurt her so much. I saw her break down in tears. She really loved you and -- I didn’t want to see Tony do the same thing if Steve did not come out of DC alive. I didn't want to be the reason why Tony wasn’t happy -- I can’t be happy if Tony is miserable -- so I let him go." Since he was listening closely, Phil could hear the telltale signs of crying.

 

“I was not with Audrey because it was comfortable." Phil wonders if he was saying that more for his own benefit than Pepper’s.

 

"Does she know that you're back?” Pepper asked abruptly.

 

"I was ordered not to tell anyone." He repeated the ridiculous excuse one more time.

 

“Yes, but the person who gave you that order is now dead. I don’t think you need to follow those orders anymore. I think it’s easier for you to play the martyr than to move on with your life." He knew that Pepper was right in that regard.

 

"I see your point. I don't know how to proceed yet. If I didn't die, things would be so much simpler."

 

“Maybe things would’ve been easier, but that wasn’t the hand you were dealt. You’re not dead anymore and as long as you're not dead you can rebuild." Pepper said wisely. Phil knew that Pepper was right.

With a quick thank you, he ended the call. He knew what he needed to do. Phil quickly pulled up the system to locate May. Hopefully, she was still wearing her lanyard. It was time to rebuild, but first he had to let her know what she was really getting into.

* * *

 

 

It was surprisingly easy to get Antoine and Skye to leave her alone after they escorted her back to the room after her unfortunate emotional display in the hangar area. All Jemma had to do was remind Skye that she could monitor Director Coulson’s conversation with May from the control room without interference from the AI on her computer now.

 

She just wanted to be alone to think. Not coddled or treated like glass as she has been for the three weeks since almost dying. She loves her friends, but can’t take their concern right now.

 

She felt foolish even more so now that she is fully aware that it would be impossible for Agent Triplett to have non-platonic feelings for her. It was Agent Garrett that planted the idea in her head and she should know better than to believe anything he said.

 

Jemma barely listened to Antoine’s explanation of why he didn’t tell her about having an ex-fiancé who happened to be a guy. Basically, some of his friends from GLASS (Gay and Lesbian Agents Serving SHIELD also known as SHIELD’s LGTBI employee affinity group) told him that his new SO was homophobic and to keep his head down which is why he never corrected Garrett’s assumption. If only his fellow affinity group members had picked up on all the guy’s other horrible traits perhaps Fitz wouldn’t be in a coma.

 

Why did she never question what was going on? Why did she keep following rules that made no sense? Why did she not question things? Why didn’t she notice what was really going on? She’s a scientist. She’s supposed to notice things, yet she didn’t pick up on Fitz’s feelings for her. (She never picked up on Hydra or Ward’s treachery either, but that was a question to be meditated on at another time.)

 

She thought that he was in love with Ward and that was why he was having such a hard time accepting the man’s true nature. All the signs of a crush where there and it wasn’t like she ever saw Fitz date any girls, just guys. Well, only a couple of guys - Damien at the Academy and Kenny from accounting.

 

Besides her and May, who doesn’t count, Skye was the only woman he talked to. She was aware that there was a lot of stammering in the beginning, which was the same thing he did with Damien, but he also stared at Ward’s backside a little too much. Then there was Mike Peterson as well and Donnie too. Actually, she could make a laundry list of guys that Fitz has stared at longingly or tried to flirt with in his way. They talked about this sort of thing all the time and he never mentioned any female names.

 

It was only natural she was going to conclude that Fitz was solely homosexual. Again, as a scientist she should know better. There are no absolutes. She also had to admit she hadn’t wanted to consider the other reason why she was the only woman he wanted to spend time with.

 

With that faulty hypothesis in place, she didn’t see the truth of his feelings until their last few moments together. Even when he was saying the words, a part of her was still thinking, ‘I don’t think you love me. I am just convenient. You’re actually in love with Ward and because he completely screwed us over, you now think you have those feelings for me.’

 

It wasn’t until afterwards when she was tasked with gathering Fitz personal possessions that weren’t destroyed by Hydra that she found his journal. When she broke down and read a few entries, she realized his affections for her were genuine and not some reaction to Ward’s betrayal.

 

Now she feels guilty. Fitz sacrificed himself for her and now she’s just… She doesn’t know. She’s frustrated. She stuck here and she can’t help. She can’t even see him because apparently they are still wanted fugitives.

 

When she gets like this, the only thing that makes her feel better is going to Fitz is room on the Bus and playing with the sock monkey that she got him when they stopped being rivals and became friends at the Academy. She literally couldn’t stand it another moment and walks out the door. It was she who had put his room back the way it was pre-infiltration just so he would have a home to come back to once he was ready. (Jemma refused to read anything into the fact that Ward had all their personal possessions locked away in his own room.)

 

It wasn’t like his mom could create such an environment for him. They haven’t been able to contact her and not for lack of trying. No one can find her not even Maria Hill.

 

It figures that she wouldn’t be able to get to his room without running into somebody. Dr. Stark was in the living room of the Bus monitoring Director Coulson on his tablet. However, he quickly closed the application when he heard her approach.

 

“There's no need to stop your work for me. I was just -- actually -- I…” She couldn’t help but stammer. She was still bloody awful at lying especially in front of someone like Dr. Stark.

 

“No need for an explanation. I will not ask you where you were going and you will not ask me why I am spying on your boss.”

 

“Why are you spying on my boss?”

 

“I thought we were not going to ask questions.” He tried to deflect your question.

 

“Of course, Dr. Stark.”

 

“There’s no need for that. Otherwise, I will have to call you Dr. Fitzsimmons.” She frowned at the name.

 

“Shit! That’s not your last name. I always get confused.” The genius mumbles under breath.

 

“Are you the one who came up with the Dendrotoxin that can even knockout a super soldier or are you the engineer that saved Steve’s ass with the mouse hole thing? Both were genius inventions.” She’s not sure at the moment if she was staying silent because Tony Stark offered her praise or because he called her Fitzsimmons. Although deep down she knows it’s the fact that Fitz saved another life and he’s not around to… He’s just not around.

 

“Jarvis, help?” He called into his watch, but received no response.

 

“I’m Dr. Simmons. Dr. Fitz is my colleague. However, he…” She sniffled. She doesn’t want to break down in tears again in front of one of the greatest engineering minds of her generation. Once was bad enough. She despises this loss of control.

 

“The one in the-- Fuck! I am really bad at interpersonal relationships. Pepper is usually the one who saves me from…”

 

“Making a complete arse of yourself.” She supplied.

 

“That’s one way to put it. Unfortunately, Pepper is currently on the phone with Director Agent trying to convince him not to shoot me again.”

 

“He shot you?” She asked incredulously.

 

“Just with your special non-lethal gun and I was only unconscious for about five minutes.” Dr. Stark shrugged.

 

“They’re called ICERs. Fitz came up with the idea. It really should last longer than that.” She frowned, wondering why it was less effective on the doctor.

 

“I was thinking the same thing. I guess Fitz is your partner?”

 

“Yes. Fitz will be quite jealous that I got to meet you in person. He respects you greatly. He has read all your journal articles at least three times. You actually went to MIT with his mum for a semester the year before Fitz was born. She talked about you all the time when he was growing up which is how Fitz was first bitten by the engineering bug.” She felt better when she could relate happy stories about Leo.

 

“Was her name Kella Fitz?” The doctor asked.

 

“Yes, actually.” Maybe Dr. Stark actually remembered her. Fitz would be excited to know that, if she could tell him.

 

“I remember her very well. Actually, we knew each other … Was that why Agent … How many months after she returned from MIT did she have your friend?” Maybe if she wasn’t so excited about Dr. Stark speaking to her like an actual colleague she would question the strangeness of that question but she didn’t. She also did not pick up on the fact he was now perspiring.

 

“Not quite a year perhaps nine or 10 months. She must have met his dad afterwards. I don’t know. Fitz doesn’t talk about it that much because he has no idea who he was. But then again Fitz doesn’t tell me a lot of things… I mean who tells someone that they are in love with you just seconds before they’re about to give their life for you?” Her eyes flash up to Dr. Stark’s and she covers her mouth with her hand. “I didn’t mean to say that.”

 

“I’d say it’s fairly common, I tried to call Pepper when… That’s not… Why don’t you tell me more about you and your friend, maybe some of your inventions?” Dr. Stark definitely was not a genius in the interpersonal communications department, she thought to herself. Thankfully, for him she enjoyed talking about her work.

 

“We could be here for hours discussing everything Fitz and I have created together from new body armor to an antiserum for an alien virus. We are best when we work together, but…” But now they couldn’t. She hated feeling this lost without him. She was codependent on him and that wasn’t good.

 

“By the time we left the Academy, we were known as Fitzsimmons. We were brilliant together much better than we were apart. He didn’t want to leave the lab, but I pushed for it. I wanted adventure. I wanted to be in the field discovering new things before anyone else. Instead, we ended up in a box at the bottom of the ocean because someone who…” She stammered. She hated Ward so much, but she mostly hated herself for trusting him. The only time they ever saw the real Ward was when he was holding a certain Asgardian artifact.

 

“Grant Ward, who was an agent with our team for the last year, was actually a Hydra operative and he tried to kill us by ejecting a medical pod into the ocean with us still inside. Thankfully, we escaped.”

 

She didn’t want to say more than that. This was only partially because she really wasn’t at liberty to discuss former Director Fury’s involvement in the rescue. The majority of the reason really had more to do with her own preference not to discuss Fitz’s sacrifice. It still hurt too much.

 

There was also a strong likelihood that she would start cursing Ward. Jemma often wonders if the only reason why Director Coulson has not brought Ward to the Playground is that he’s afraid she may shoot him before they get any useful intel.

 

“I can relate. The security guard who used to give me candy as a child tried to kill me when everything blew up. Before that, the guy who became a second father to me after my parents died literally ripped my arc reactor out of my chest. This was after he had me kidnapped so he could take over my company.” There was a hint of anger underneath the bravado.

 

“I guess you can at that.” She said reflectively.

 

“We thought we would die down there, but we didn’t.” She said before going into the specifics of how they got out. Unlike everyone else, Dr. Stark could appreciate the science of it. He seemed impressed by Fitz’s creative use of the EKG machine. He was making detailed notes on a napkin. It felt good to speak science with somebody again. It almost made her feel normal. She was so wrapped up in relating the experience that she didn’t notice the Director run by them. Of course, Coulson’s departure happened at the point in Jemma’s story where Fitz sacrificed his own survival for hers. “Leo is my best friend and he just…”

 

Tony looked up from his notes. “No, I understand. Someday when you’re up for it, I have a story about building an arc reactor with a box of scraps in a cave.”

 

“I’ve read your file.” Superficially, she could see some parallels.

 

“Yes, but Dr. Yinsen wasn’t part of it.” Considering the dark expression that he was wearing, she felt it was best not to ask any questions.

 

“I’m kind of upset that Stark Industries did not find you guys earlier or rather first. We have better toys and unlimited funding.”

 

“And you weren’t being secretly controlled by Hydra.” She mumbled under breath.

 

“At least not after we lost Obadiah, may he not rest in peace.” Dr. Stark joked.

 

Presently, she wished she did work for his company, now that they were no longer producing weapons of mass destruction. She knew that they were working on things like artificial hearts and artificial blood substitute. She would find such work interesting. Compared to her current situation, she would have a wealth of resources and opportunities there. She wouldn’t be hiding or running around the globe trying to stay one step ahead of Hydra. (She knew that they would be leaving the Playground soon. They’ve already been here too long).

 

She knew that the man in front of her had protected former Deputy Director Hill from whatever Talbot was planning. She was sure that he could keep her from being deported or imprisoned. He could help her get through the system. She could leave hiding or at the very least she could tell her parents that she was still alive. She could even help with Fitz, if she could get assigned to the research going on at Georgetown Medical Center.

 

“Are you still interested?”

 

To be concluded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am literally proofreading the last chapter as I post this. If you want me to proofread faster, review. Give me a reason to stay up till at least 11 PM working on this.


	8. Happy Endings (or as happy as they can be with Hydra in the picture).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read or review the last chapter. This is the final chapter of Tony Stark is Not a Relationship Expert. 
> 
> I just want to take a moment to thank everybody who has stayed with this story even though it went from a short story, by my standards, to something approaching 50,000 words. This story or rather series was really me getting into the MCU for the first time and getting outside of my Star Trek and Ugly Betty comfort zones. It was fun trying something completely different.
> 
> Also, thank you to everyone who has left kudos, added the story to your favorites, or who are following.
> 
> A special thank you goes to Grayson Steele, who was the beta for most of this story. Honestly, at times she felt more like my cowriter than just my beta by helping me get scenes just right. 
> 
> Continuity note: In the MCU supplemental comic to Captain America 1, they had Bucky and Steve growing up together in an orphanage. However, it seems like that piece of cannon was recanted in Winter Soldier with one of the flashback sequences making it seem as if Sarah Rogers died when Steve was closer to adulthood and Bucky still lived with his own family. Anyone who is familiar with my writing knows that I love my characters to be a little bit on the screwed up side (I write a lot of stories about Vulcans in therapy). I believe that a Steve who lost his mother at a young age and grew up in the 1930s version of the New York child welfare system is more interesting and therefore I’m going to go with that character history.

May had Steve beneath her and remarkably he was almost breathing hard. She watched a bead of perspiration begin to form on his brow as she continued to successfully pin him down. It had only taken just over an hour to get Steve to this point. May felt quite proud of that.

 

He was 10 times stronger than the average man which made him roughly three times stronger than her. Theoretically, it should be impossible for her to win in a sparring match against him, but she had more experience. If she counted the years of training with her mother throughout her childhood, she’d been training in various martial arts and self-defense techniques for over 40 years. Sometimes experience was the only thing that could help you survive when your opponent is stronger than you and a foot taller for that matter.

 

Of course, her recent experience with Centipede soldiers had helped immensely. They were definitely in Steve’s league if not as well trained. They also couldn’t think for themselves which made them slightly easier to deal with. However, they could punch.

 

It helped that she was familiar with his fighting style. This was far from the first time they’d fought each other. It had been a routine occurrence during her time as his neighbor. It was one of the few things that helped Melinda continue to function while she was under the impression that Phil’s death was permanent. He was much more of a street or maybe she should say playground fighter than her, but she could tell he’d been practicing in her absence. Melinda can see pieces of Natasha style intermingled with classic Steve techniques. She knew the younger woman’s moves as well.

 

At the same time, this was the first time that Steve didn't hold back. Before he’d thought she was just ex-military and former law-enforcement, now he knew who she really was and what she was capable of. She hasn't had a fight like this for – well, not since the final fight with Ward, but then again that didn't count. There was nothing fun about that one. Her matches against Agent Triplett came close to this, but it still felt like he was trying to prove something.

 

With Steve, there was no purpose except as an outlet for aggression and maybe a training exercise. Needless to say, she had a lot of anger that she needed to work out. She was angry at Stark for telling Phil the truth. Angry at Phil for obviously not returning her feelings. She was even upset with Audrey just because. She was furious at Marcus Daniels for fixating on the Portland cellist before Melinda had a chance to tell Phil that she cared about him. She was even mad at Clint for probably convincing Phil to never, ever, ever date a fellow agent or friend again.

 

Unfortunately, none of those people were available to physically vent on - just Steve. She was beyond pissed that he couldn’t manage to keep Stark away from here. She was angry at herself for telling Stark the truth and angrier still for allowing herself to be so emotionally vulnerable in front of anyone. But she wasn’t angry at herself for being in love with Phil, only for falling in love with someone who could never love her back.

 

She needed to feel something and pain was the only option. The pain caused by every blow Steve inflicted on her took the place of the pain in her heart. Every hit she landed on him allowed some of the anger to flow out of her and lessened the burden on her heart. Anyone else would be covered in bruises right now. Steve had a few, but she would have more and his would likely be gone before he finished a glass of water.

 

“Do you feel better now?” Steve asked as she rested on top of him. He was barely out of breath and that was probably only because of how long they’ve been fighting. He was shocked that she hadn’t tired out before now. Usually she could only last about a half an hour going against him, but it seemed different today.

 

“You let me win?” She asked annoyed. That would explain so much.

 

Before he even answered, she smoothly made her way to her feet. This training room reminded her of the one in the old apartment complex in Georgetown. Although, she hope there were no cameras. She was still mad at herself for having sex with him in the training room. SHIELD surveillance aside, anyone could've walked in. Actually, anybody did walk in. Part of her believes that Steve knew Stark was there the entire time, but she would never ask. That was an unspoken ground rule in their relationship. They never asked questions that they knew the other person would not or could not answer. It was one of the reasons why they got along so well.

 

Steve sat up before replying, “I would never let you win. I actually thought the techniques I picked up from Natasha would help.” He shrugged giving off that 'I’m just an innocent guy from the 40s' air.

 

She knew it was a façade. He may be from the 40s, but he was not that innocent. He was too wary having seen too much ugliness. He’d done things that no one should have to do to survive. Innocence disappears when you lose your mom at all too young an age while living through years of economic hardship and war. It happens when you lose your best friend during said war. Steve may be unaware certain aspects of the world, but he hasn’t been innocent for a long time.

 

“I used to train with her.” May said making her way to the water cooler in the room. It was one of the few luxuries the Playground had. This place was older than Providence, although recently retrofitted. She thinks that it might’ve been a factory in a previous existence.

 

“That makes sense.” Steve gave her a towel. “Is that why you always refused to meet her?” He’d asked her to have lunch with Natasha several times over the last two years, mainly to get Natasha to stop trying to set him up with half of SHIELD, the female half. The fact that she tried to set him up with Peggy Carter’s niece was over the line. She should’ve at least gone with her grandson. Actually, never mind. That would be even more awkward considering Melinda now knows said grandson is Agent Triplett and that Steve really had slept with one of his grandparents.

 

“She didn't come to Phil's funeral.” Melinda answered curtly. No one else could get that much from her.

 

“You’re upset that she didn’t go to his funeral? To the point that you couldn’t have a cordial lunch with her?”

 

Melinda doesn’t answer him. She just finishes her water and goes straight for the punching bag. Steve wordlessly follows behind and holds the bag for her. She should rest, but she can’t right now.

 

“You see, this is why we were sparring. You don't do emotions like a normal person. You either have to punch something or fuck somebody, but there is no way you will talk about it. Unfortunately, sex is not an option right now.” That almost sounded like a joke.

 

“So, you’re letting me beat the hell out of you instead.” She almost smirked at Steve.

 

“It’s not like it’s going to hurt me.” She knows that. Handcuff marks and rope burns usually disappear within an hour of 'play time'. Hot wax barely leaves any marks at all. No matter how hard they go at it, he’s never had bruises, well, none that were still there in the morning anyway. She couldn’t even give him a hickey. Actually, she could and did, but it was gone in less time than it had taken to make it.

 

“Your masochistic tendencies could be dangerous in the hands of the wrong person.” She worried about him. He was still too trusting at times and if you were going to let someone tie you to the bed, it was a bad quality to have. Of course, as strong as Steve is, if he didn’t want to be restrained, he wouldn’t be.

 

“Lucky for me, I keep picking the right people.”

 

“And Stark is the right person?” Yes, she’s asked this question in email, but you can’t read body language in an email. It’s much harder to lie in person.

 

“Yes.” He blushed a little which considering everything they’ve done together is rather endearing. “Though we haven’t done too much ‘playtime’ yet. It reminds him too much of the kidnapping. Also, I enjoy having him listen to my orders for once. I swear the only time he really listens to me is during sex.” She shakes her head.

 

“You’re okay without it?” She asked with a hint of concern.

 

"I feel like I’m less likely to...” Steve stammered. Melinda thought he probably wanted to say something along the lines of he feels less likely to hurt Tony because the man is similar in size and therefore doesn’t feel the need for handcuffs or to always be the sub. But he would never say that out loud so she would.

 

“Hurt him if you lose control?” She punches the bag extra hard as she speaks.

 

He punches the bag himself a few times before responding. “Yes,” Steve tells her eventually. “But not because I think you’re weaker than me. It’s more like I know better now. I told you about the first time post transformation with the chorus girl, Mandy. She had bruises for a week and it wasn’t like I was being rough. But that never happened with you so…” Steve trails off, returning to his punching bag.

 

“And you say I am bad about talking about my feelings.” She glares just a little at him. “Have you talked to Stark about this?”

 

“Yes. I learned my lesson after avoiding him for the two weeks after we slept together. We are much better at talking things out now.” Melinda frowned at that.

 

"I distinctly remember you saying that you had sex on the stairs before actually talking to each other."

 

“We did talk things out, eventually. It was a very long flight back from Los Angeles after we dropped you off.” Stark and Steve actually flew out with her to rejoin the team, but she refused to let Stark meet with Phil. It was the wrong time for an emotional confrontation. Phil had too much to deal with already. Instead she was left with another special phone and instructions to call if things got too bad. She’d used said phone to start a search for Fitz and Simmons, not even bothering to tell the other party what they were planning with Cybertek. Considering Simmons and Fitz were still alive, she felt she’d made the right call.

 

“What did you actually talk about?"

 

"A lot of things. Apparently, Tony does care about me and I’m not a Pepper substitute." Melinda knew that was one of his greatest fears.

 

"That was obvious. No one schedules that many meetings with the head of the EPA without some sort of ulterior motive and you were his ulterior motive." She smirked.

 

"At the time, I didn’t realize that I was the reason why he was spending so much time in DC. I didn’t look too hard at the fact that he was spending so much time at my apartment. I just thought he hated hotels."

 

"I don’t know about that, but he still owns his childhood home in the city. He spent his summers here growing up according to his file." She informed Steve.

 

"I realize that now. I have this unfortunate tendency to see the worst in Tony’s sometimes."

 

“Or maybe, you’ve had so many bad experiences with love that you don’t see the good things when they happen. If you do that all the time, you’ll miss out on what could be."

 

"Someone should take her own advice." Steve mumbled under breath.

 

"We talked about going forward and being a couple, although were only living together right now out of necessity and security. I do sleep in my own bedroom some nights."

 

"Probably because he’s pulling on all nighter in the lab." She snickered.

 

"Maybe. He’s also okay with me trying to find Bucky."

 

"How many times did you have to assure him that you’re not sexually attracted to your best friend?" She looked at Steve pointedly.

 

"Only twice, but I think he was more reassured by the fact that Bucky was definitely a Kinsey zero."

 

"I knew having you read about Kinsey would be beneficial."

 

"Tony would even be okay with you coming with me." She just rolled her eyes. Steve has been trying to get her to give up on rebuilding SHEILD. He is really angry with Fury for going behind his back to salvage parts of the organization.

 

"You know I can’t. I made a promise to look after him. To rebuild. To make SHEILD the place it was supposed to be. To make sure it doesn’t become corrupted this time around."

 

“Even if he rejects you?"

 

“Even then. I’m participating in the rebuilding for me not Phil, but my love for him is a big part of it. I love him even if he can’t -- even if he won’t love me back. Real love is not dependent on reciprocation. Real love is unconditional. It expects nothing in return. It is selfless."

 

"What happens to that love if you could get something in return?” She turns around at the voice. She curses herself for not hearing Phil’s footsteps, but then again it was Phil Coulson. Just because he was never technically trained as a specialist doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have certain skills - like the ability to catch an opponent off guard.

 

"Could you give us a couple of minutes Captain Rogers?" Part of her doesn’t want Steve to leave, but she knows they need to speak to each other. At the very least, Melinda wants to know what he meant by his earlier question. She was too afraid to read too much into it.

 

"I think at this point you can call me Steve. I did sign the cards for you afterwards, but…”She groaned. The bloody cards were a very sensitive subject, for multiple reasons. It was as bad as Lola after Maria towed her a way. Thankfully, Stark brought her back.

 

“I still can’t believe he did that to my cards. They were in mint condition. Do you have any idea how long it took me to collect all of them?” Phil asked turning to her.

 

“26 years.” She groaned internally having heard the story multiple times by this point.

 

“26 years and he put blood on my cards. He didn’t even offer me a replacement set. One of those cards was given to me by my father right before he died.” Finally, Phil got to the real reason he was so mad about the cards. This she could understand. It wasn’t about the cards as much as it was about his father.

 

“And now, they are the reason why Earth is still here. I’d say that makes them even more valuable. And they’re signed.” She shook her head.

 

“Yes, but…” Phil started, but he was interrupted by Steve.

 

“I’m going to go find my boyfriend now.” Steve was already out the door before either of them could replied.

 

"Now that Steve is gone, you can tell me that it’s better if we stay friends." She thought it might hurt less if she said it first. She just wanted to get this out of the way so she could try to move past it.

 

"It is better that we stay friends. We are trying to rebuild this organization. I have to... we have to set a good example for the other agents.” The logical part of her knew this was the right thing, but her heart still hurt. However, she was a professional and she would push the pain down. It would do her no good.

 

"I know…" Her words are cut off by his mouth descending onto hers. She’d kissed him once before. It was for a mission. People don’t pay attention to you if you’re making out. The spark was there last time even though she tried to deny it, but this time he was trying to tell her 1,000,001 things with every movement of his lips and flick of his tongue. She had never felt so much in a kiss before.

 

"Just because it’s the wiser course doesn’t mean we should take it." Phil whispers as he reluctantly pulls away.

 

"I don’t want to take it either." She moves in to kiss him again, but he pulls back.

 

"Maybe you should." She frowns at him as he steps back a little more. “You need to know everything before we go any further.”

 

With that, he pulls her out of the training room and down the corridor to the supply room near his quarters. Before he even opens the door to the room, she knows what he’s going to show her. However, she follows him inside of the room anyway. Just like last time the walls were filled with those strange drawings. She was relieved to see there wasn’t anything new. It was five days since his last episode. The one that prompted her to call Stark.

 

"Phil, I know about your episodes. It’s why I contacted Stark. We’re trying to find someone to help you."

 

"You know?" He looked so relieved realizing that he wouldn’t have to deal with this alone.

 

"Yes. I know what I’m getting into. I know what we’re getting into and we will get through it all together." She kissed him and this time he didn’t pull away.

 

"We will figure it out, I promise.” She whispered against his lips. It was a promise she intended to keep.

 

Xxxxxxx

Steve knew May would be upset with him for leaving the way he did, but she and Coulson needed to talk with one another. He stood just beyond the door for a minute. It’s not his fault that his enhanced hearing capabilities allow him to listen in on a conversation happening on the other side of the wall. He just wanted to make sure that he didn’t need to defend May’s honor afterward. Not that she would let him anyway even if something like that was needed.

 

Not that the couple spoke to each other very long before leaving the room. Steve didn’t follow behind because that would be inappropriate. Besides at that point he’d heard enough to believe that things would be okay.

 

He would talk to her afterward. The base wasn’t that far from Arlington. He and Tony didn’t have to leave right away despite being exhausted.

 

Not that he was physically exhausted even after their prolonged sparring match. He will not confirm nor deny that he allowed her to win because she was one of the few who could hold her own against him. Actually, she was better than before. A year of being back on active duty was good for her in that regard.

 

Steve was psychologically exhausted from the time he’d spent with his exes’ grandson. He could see little bits of Peggy and Gabe mixed together. It simultaneously felt good and horrible.

 

Good in the sense that two people he cared about deeply found each other and love in a world that didn’t always appreciate their relationship. Even better that they lived long enough for that type of prejudice to decrease. The horrible part was that he hadn’t been able to be a part of it. Their grandson, who is his biological age, was another reminder that the world had gone on without him.

 

Change and progress wasn’t all bad. If he and Tony were an average couple, they could walk down the street holding hands without being arrested, in this country anyway. The paparazzi which is bad enough now, would be ridiculous once their relationship went public, but it wasn’t like the old days. Considering his codename is Captain America, his going to places like Russia or much of the Middle East would be problematic regardless of his sexual orientation.

 

He would never have met Tony if circumstances weren’t what they were. By being awakened in 2012, he was able to live as his true self. Tony was the main thing that made the present bearable. Tony eased his grief over everything he’d lost and made him grateful for everything he’d gained in return. It was Tony who made him see the good stuff.

 

If he was being honest, he wasn’t thrilled that May was staying, but Steve genuinely did want her to find happiness with Phil. He’d seen how miserable she was during the first six months of their acquaintance. Those two needed each other.

 

Instead of standing around and waiting for May to return, he went to find Tony. His JARVIS enabled wristwatch directed him to the hangar where he found Tony sitting in Lola again screaming into one of his special encrypted phones.

 

“Fuck you and Patches. I’m getting damn tired of the secrets. I don’t even need your confirmation. You work on getting my new science baby free and clear of immigration and the military and I will take care of having Stephanie run the blood work on the other science baby. I actually trust her.” Steve would be willing to bet that Tony was speaking to Maria. He was rubbing his temple in a certain way that usually indicated he was being forced to speak with the woman. Since Tony was using earbuds, he wasn’t close enough yet to hear the other side of the conversation to verify it.

 

“You and the pirate have kept a lot of secrets from me, but this is fucking unforgivable. If I didn’t think you would screw us all over, I would hand you over to Senator Ward and his military cronies on a silver platter.” Tony screamed.

 

Senator Ward was the one calling for the counterespionage task force and for Talbot to be in charge of it, at least he was before the Canada incident. He also made Steve’s Senate hearing quite uncomfortable. There was something about the guy that made Steve’s skin crawl.

 

“If I wasn’t able to fix the Palladium poisoning problem, were you and Patches just going to let me die without knowing…” Tony stops speaking abruptly when he finally notices Steve standing beside the car. He quickly pulls Steve down for a kiss.

 

“You better be happy Stevie bear is back and I’d rather make out with him than yell at you.” Tony said turning his attentions back to Maria.

 

“Stark, it was a matter of national…” Steve barely heard Maria say before Tony hung up on her.

 

“Why were you screaming at Maria this time?” Steve asked concerned as he slid into the car after Tony moved over.

 

“Because you can take the spy out the agency, but you can’t take the agency out of the spy or something like that.” Tony kissed him again. It was probably a distraction to keep Steve from asking more questions. It worked. “It doesn’t matter. It looks like you and Agent Scary had fun, although hopefully not too much, at least not when I’m unable to watch.”

 

“If you keep joking about this, I’m going to think you’re serious.” Steve deadpanned.

 

“I’m serious. Very serious. You don’t think me seeing a woman who is half your size have you on your knees and in complete submission is an utter turn on? Add Director Agent to it and it is my ultimate wet dream. Of course, I think you reading the phone book is sexy, but I’m biased.” Tony’s mouth was on Steve neck trying again to give Steve a hickey that would make it to morning.

 

“They still have actual phone books?”

 

“I’m not-- I have no idea. I don’t think I’ve used one since-- undergrad I think. And that was -- Stephanie was pregnant with Agent Peggy Carter Junior when I was an undergrad. Although, if Maria is telling the truth, that means…” Tony trailed off with a panic look on his face.

 

“Tony what are you talking about?”

 

“So why did Agent Scary stop beating you up?” Tony asked with the sole purpose of distracting him.

 

“I’m only allowing you to change the subject because I trust that you will tell me eventually.” That earned him a kiss from Tony.

 

“And I’ll give you a blow job or maybe your other favorite job and I don’t mean hand job.” The thought made blood rush to critical parts of Steve’s anatomy. Tony always did this to him.

 

“We stopped fighting when Agent Coulson--I mean Director Coulson came in and asked to speak with her and I decided to come find you.”

 

“I’m having trouble with the new title too, but I trust him a lot more than the pirate.” So did Steve, but he didn’t want to tell Tony that. “At least Director Agent gave me enough of a clue to figure out the truth.”

 

“He neglected to tell you that he was alive.” Steve said playing devil’s advocate.

 

“He was under orders. You neglected to tell me that Patches is still alive and spying. Right now, I’d like to find him and punch out the other eye. Did the pot and kettle analogy exists when you were growing up?” Tony snarked.

 

“I’m not that old. I didn’t say anything because I was asked not to. It was for his protection.” Steve defended himself.

 

“It was the same thing in Agent’s case even though I’m not happy about being kept out of the proverbial loop. It doesn’t matter. Hey JARVIS, can you tell me if Director Agent and Agent Scary are making good use of the parallel bar? Apparently, she has a penchant for that.”

 

“That was only the one-- they already left the gym before I came here. I’m not sure where they were…” Steve spluttered before he was cut off by JARVIS.

 

“They are both currently in the supply room adjacent to Director Coulson’s personal quarters. Would you like me to pull up the feed from that room?” The AI asked.

 

“Of course, there are cameras everywhere.” Steve would not expect anything less of a secret facility to be used in the event of SHIELD’s fall.

 

“Not as many as you would expect, but maybe Agent Director had something to do with that. Actually, I installed this one.”

 

“You put a camera in a supply closet? When did you have time to put a camera in the supply closet?” From what May told him, Tony was with Coulson for the majority of his time at the Playground before Steve’s arrival. He doesn’t know why Tony flew ahead when they could have driven together. Of course, this way they won’t have to wait for one of Tony’s drivers to pick them up a few miles away and take them back to DC.

 

“After Director Agent shot me, but before I called Pepper. Actually, I was working on installing the camera while I was talking to Pepper. You know I’m an excellent multitasker.”

 

“Why did you install a camera in there? He shot you?!”

 

“Only with your favorite type of gun.” Tony said before magnifying an image on his tablet which finally allowed Steve to notice that there was something on the wall other than green paint. “That would be the crazy symbols that sort of resemble a diagram, but not quite. I think they’re ancient alien hieroglyphics of some type. Of course, only Mister God of Thunder may know for sure.”

.

“Have you gotten in touch with Thor?” Steve raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

 

“Not yet, but it is good to have a sample. Besides, it will be easier this way for Agent Scary to monitor Director Agent or for her to make a sex tape. Did she just unzip Agent?” Tony pointed to the screen. She really was unzipping Coulson. Steve quickly shut down Tony’s program. Their friends deserved some privacy.

 

“I really don’t think they’re going to go that far. I mean they have a lot to talk out first.” Especially considering that she called Steve out for doing the same thing earlier.

 

“How soon did you guys start sleeping together after you actually became friends?”

 

“That’s not the same-- it was an arrangement.”

 

“How long Capsicle?”

 

“Two weeks, but that’s counting from the time that we really got to know each other.” He finally confessed. “But this is different.”

 

“Says the guy who couldn’t even make it to the bed our first time, our first time that matters anyway. Good thing you decided to be on the bottom that time because the stairs would have killed my back.” Tony quipped.

 

“We did talk things out eventually.”

 

“And for some reason you’re still staying with me despite my superhero lifestyle, lack of interpersonal skills, and propensity to mainline coffee when I’m on a creative bender.” Steve responded by kissing Tony again.

 

“I have the same lifestyle which makes it a lot easier to understand or explain when one of us ends up missing a date.” He also didn’t have to worry about Tony being kidnapped by super villains because the man could defend himself. Also, they would most likely be chasing after Tony for their own reasons and not because of Steve.

 

“I consider beating up bad guys together a date, especially when there is sex afterward or at least pizza. Actually, I consider anything a date if there’s sex afterward.” Tony joked.

 

“I’m not going anywhere.” He pulled Tony into his arms.

 

“Even if it turns out I have a 27-year-old kid due to being too ignorant to know sleeping with a 20-year-old when I was barely a teenager was a bad idea?” Tony asked a little too innocently.

 

“Considering my ex has a 27-year-old grandson, I think I would be okay with it. But this is hypothetical?” You couldn’t always tell with Tony.

 

“Which has to be awkward considering I went to kindergarten with his mother and her mother just happens to also be your ex. You know if you had come back 20 years earlier, you guys could’ve had a hell of a threesome. You would’ve been their really young boy toy.” Steve smiled sadly at that.

 

“I never slept with Peggy, just… Tony stop trying to distract me. Explain!” Steve said exasperatedly.

 

“Can I blow you instead? Actually, never mind. Sex in this car is what led to this whole situation in the first place. What was I thinking? I was 14. A child at 14. Howard would have killed me. Pepper may still do it. Do you think Howard…” Tony starts to exhibit the first stages of a panic attack. This worries Steve because Tony hasn’t had panic attacks for a while.

 

“Tony, just breathe. It’s okay. I doubt Howard would have killed you whatever you did. What did you do?”

 

“I might have a 27-year-old kid.” Tony stated without a trace of his usual humor. “And Fury and Hill knew because Big Brother required all agents to put their DNA on file because that’s just how the Triskelion rolled before you wrecked the place.”

 

“Tony, you’re a genius and while I’m pretty bright I’m not following you right now. Clearer sentences.”

 

“Apparently, I’m not brilliant enough to avoid becoming a teen parent. The board is going to flip when they find out and the media is going to rip us all apart. We may have to come out of the relationship closet just to take the pressure off my kid. Fuck, I have a kid.” Steve tried to rub gentle circles on Tony’s back. He hoped the gesture was comforting to his lover.

 

“Didn’t Stephanie get pregnant at 16? Isn’t she considered one of the best neurologist in the country now? Things happen.” He said trying to be reassuring.

 

“She gave birth at 16. And she got pregnant against her will while a hostage during a kidnapping, orchestrated by fucking Hydra.”

 

‘Okay, no one told me that,’ Steve thought to himself. And it definitely wasn’t in any of the files that he been given to catch up on what he missed.

 

“I’m going to be really angry when I hear the rest of that story, aren’t I?” He asked quietly reigning in his reaction to focus on Tony.

 

“Like Bruce demolishing Harlem angry. I just hope you --just don’t-- I just hope that you don’t break up with me because of this.”

 

“I’m not going to break up with you just because you may have a kid you didn’t know about.” Steve would love to know how Tony figured this out in the last hour, but who knows. Maybe he came across a file in Director Coulson’s office. Tony going through somebody else’s computer systems would not surprise him at all at this point. Actually, Steve would be worried otherwise.

 

“You’re sure? Because dating me is not easy. Not to mention we are going to be under extra scrutiny because you are going to be my first public boyfriend. And I mean actual boyfriend and not just a sex tape partner. It will get even worse when the tabloids get wind of my kid-- my son who happens to be in a coma because of Hydra…” Steve’s only response was to kiss Tony.

 

“It doesn’t matter. We’ll get through it. I’m not leaving you.” Steve reassured again.

 

“You did not come back after the first time.” Tony pulled away.

 

“I was planning to come back, I just needed to clear my head and then…”

 

“Hydra?” Tony supplied for him.

 

“Hydra.” Steve nodded his head.

 

“Fuck Hydra! At least, it was easier to find you this time. It was just 3 miles of the Potomac instead of over a thousand square miles of ocean.”

 

“I think it was Bucky who pulled me ashore.” Steve has only vague flashes of memory of what happened after his fall from the carrier, but he is pretty sure Bucky helped at some point.

 

“That gives me one less reason to hate him. As long as he doesn’t try to take you away from me.” Tony buries his face in the crook of Steve’s neck again.

 

“I love you. I want to be with you. You make me happy.” Tony abruptly pulls back and looks Steve directly in the eyes.

 

“Did you just say that you love me?” Tony almost seemed surprised.

 

“I’ve said the words before.”

 

“I don’t think so. JARVIS?” Tony called out to his AI.

 

“Captain Rogers has said the phrase ‘I love you’ 16 times to you. However, according to biometric scans performed at the time, you were asleep all 16 times.” The prompt response in the familiar voice emanates from Tony’s wristwatch. Sometimes Steve believes that Tony’s AI knows way too much.

 

“So you’re not leaving me? Peggy has a grandson and a niece.” It was ridiculous for Tony to think that he would leave him for a reminder of his past. Steve was ready to embrace a fresh start in the present – preferably literally.

 

“Too creepy.” He smirked.

 

“Agent Scary?” Now this was a more serious possibility. The honest answer was maybe; if they weren’t both in love with other people. They didn’t live in that world though.

 

“She’s probably having sex in the supply closet.” Steve deadpanned.

 

“So that’s the only reason why you’re here with me?” His boyfriend had serious self-esteem issues. He blames Howard.

 

“Tony, her history with Coulson is what forced me to stop being terrified of my feelings for you. I didn’t want to regret not trying the way she did.” That was completely true. If it wasn’t for her influence, Steve was not sure where he would be right now.

 

“Now you each have your happy ending. Or as happy of an ending as you can have with Hydra around.” Tony smiles at him.

 

“I like to think of it as a happy beginning.”

 

“Beginnings are good.” With that Tony pulls Steve into a kiss. Whatever happens, Steve believes they will get through it together even if it does include Tony having a comatose 27-year-old son.

The end?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes, technically, this was the last chapter, but this is the story set in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, so you know what that means.
> 
> Anyway, I would love to get your comments and/or kudos. Also, I would like to say for the record that the scene between May and Coulson in the supply room was written two days before episode 2.2 came out. There’s a good chance I may have woke up my neighbor Wednesday morning when I was watching a certain scene for the first time. It just fit perfectly.


	9. Reminder:  Always Sit through the Credits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the final chapter. This is a little something extra as a thank you to everyone.

Trip now stared blankly at the screen in front of him. He turned it off seconds earlier when it became highly likely that Tony Stark and Steve Rogers were about to do something in Lola that may result in their being shot and not with an ICER. The Director was not going to be happy. 

Really, he should have never ever agreed to Skye’s plan to spy on everyone just because she wanted to see if “mommy” and “daddy” would finally get together. He should know by now that there are some things you can’t un-see. In the last 20 minutes, he has seen his Director make out with his new SO in the training room (thankfully they had the good sense to get a room before things went further) and discovered why his grandfather knew that Captain America wasn’t that straight. 

He shouldn’t be surprised by either revelation. Of course grandpa found out via personal experience. It wasn’t exactly something people talked about in the 40s and it was in the middle of a war. Stuff happened. Really he should have put the pieces together earlier. 

Also, the May and Coulson rumors have been floating around SHIELD for nearly two decades. He heard them at the Academy. Allegedly, there had even been a betting pool at Headquarters before it blew up. With that much hype and history surrounding them, it was inevitable. He just wasn't expecting to see it firsthand.

Learning that Tony Stark may be Fitz’s biological father hadn’t fazed him. Neither did finding out that the people he’d once worked for had kept that information from father and son. That would be the least of their sins at this point. He could see old SHIELD trying to recruit a Stark kid because he would have to be easier to deal with than the original. (Obviously, Skye has not quite put all the clues together yet otherwise there would be two quasi-catatonic people in the room right now.) 

No, the secret that has him nearly unable to function was discovering that his existence was caused by his mom being raped while in Hydra custody. In his mind, he knows it all happened just to install Alexander Pierce as head of SHIELD. Trip felt ill. 

Somehow, Trip had always known that the circumstances around his conception had to be bad. Nobody talked about what happened when he was growing up. His mom went out of her way to make sure he knew that she never believed having him was a mistake, but… How could she have had him and not hate him? How could his Grandma Peggy stand to even look at him? How could they love him when he was brought into the world under such abhorrent circumstances? For such nefarious purposes?

“Do you want to break into the Bus’s liquor supply?” Skye finally asked breaking through his mental fog. She placed a hand gently on his shoulder.

“My grandmother always said that alcohol doesn’t help with something like this.” Trip is not sure what would help, but it’s not alcohol.

“But it couldn’t hurt.” Skye shrugged.

“I really don’t want to pass by my grandfather’s ex-boyfriend making out with my mom’s childhood friend.” That would just be too weird. 

“Good point. That would just compound the reasons for going to the Bus.”

“That’s not why I’m upset. Growing up no one talked about my father. I just assumed he was some stupid kid that got my mom pregnant and ran away, not…” Trip didn’t even know how to finish that sentence. Even his worst-case scenario didn’t involve something like this. He just thought that the organization was being opportunistic by taking advantage of a bad situation. He should’ve known better. The file was level 10 for a reason. Sexual assault was one of those things that always bumped up the security clearance of the incident.

“How you came into the world doesn’t matter.” Skye wrapped an arm around him. “Who gives a fuck about the other contributor to your DNA? You grew up with a mom, grandmother, and a grandfather who loved you. You even have a very cool stepfather. I was shoveled around from home to home for my own protection. I always thought that there was something wrong with me. That no one loved me.” He wanted to say something along the lines of that made you more susceptible to Hydra but he couldn’t bring himself to say that. Skye was trying to make him feel better.

“Yes, but I don’t see how…”

“They love you. They didn’t care about anything else. The other stuff doesn’t matter.” Skye whispered.

“I’m not sure.”

“It doesn’t. Since our bosses are busy, do you want to watch movies again? I’ll go grab Simmons.” They try to include her in bonding activities whenever possible even if she declines more often than she accepts.

“That’s a good idea, but just let her be. She’s on the Bus.” Actually, he’s well aware that she’s in Fitz’s room playing with his sock monkey. He doesn’t have the energy to take her away from that right now. 

“Letting her be alone all the time is not for the best. I’ll leave her a note in our room to come over when she gets back.”

After placing a note on Jemma’s bed, Skye entered his room with her laptop, movies, and ice cream. For being in hiding, Director Coulson made sure they have really good food. Although Trip suspects that May is responsible for the ice cream or maybe Agent Koenig. 

Halfway through the third movie, they are interrupted by Skye’s new friend.

“Ms. Skye, Dr. Stephanie Triplett is trying to contact you and Dr. Simmons. Would you like to speak with her now or shall I redirect the phone call to Dr. Simmons?”

"I’ll go get Simmons. It could be something big and she will need support. I do not want a repeat of earlier.” Trip didn’t either.

“Actually, Ms. Skye …” By that point, Skye was already out of the room.

“You’re going to have to speak up faster than that JARVIS. She’s already on her way to find Simmons. Let me talk to my mom.” Trip wants to talk to his mom and at the same time he doesn’t. He’s worried about Fitz. A change in his condition would be the only reason why his mom was trying to contact Simmons at 12:02 in the morning, especially since she just talked to the young scientist that morning. At the same time, he knows this is going to be an uncomfortable conversation. He wants to ask her why she kept everything from him. Trip may never be able to look at her the same way. 

“How’s my Little Chipmunk?” His mom said the moment she was connected. The way she said it put his mind at ease. If even at 27 he is still her ‘Little Chipmunk’, maybe what’s Skye said was true. Maybe, it doesn’t matter that his entire existence was manufactured by Hydra. Maybe it just gives him another reason to take them down.

“I’m okay mom.” He’s not but he doesn’t want to go into that right now.

“So your friends with JARVIS now?” She asked half joking.

“Your old childhood friend visited us today or rather yesterday and dropped off some toys.” He amended after remembering it was just after midnight.

“Tony knows where you are and he didn’t bring me?” Okay, apparently Mom was now on a first name basis with Tony Stark. She was also not happy.

“Not the point Mom.”

“I just want to know that my baby boy is okay.” Normally he hates when his mom calls him ‘baby boy’, but it felt good this morning. His mom called him her baby boy because she loves him despite everything. His mom loves him.

“I think I may be able to come see you soon. We can meet up somewhere, maybe visit grandma.” He said as a way to pacify her.

“Now, I know you’re not alright. This morning you were saying the exact opposite. That it would be too dangerous. What’s going on?” This is what happens when your mom is raised by spies. It is impossible to really hide anything from her. She figured out he wasn’t heterosexual before he did.

“I found out…” There was going to be more to that sentence. He was going to tell her about the efforts being made to clear their names with branches of the government not embedded by family members, but he suddenly decided that it was better to get this conversation out of the way now. This way if this goes badly, he can always end the transmission, he justified to himself.

“Why didn’t you tell me I was a product of you getting kidnapped and raped by Hydra agents?”

“I was never raped, at least not in the traditional -- I don’t think we should be having this conversation right now. How encrypted is this line?” Again, this is what happens when you are raised by spies. Just as he was going to make a snide comment to that effect, Skye ran back into his room with an envelope in her hand, but no Simmons.

“She’s gone.”

“What do you mean?” He asked worriedly.

“Simmons is gone and so are all of her things. She left this on her bed.” Skye passes the envelope to him just as JARVIS interrupted.

“I tried to inform you before you left the room that Dr. Simmons is no longer at the Playground.”  
“Where is she?” Trip and Skye asked the AI simultaneously.   
Xxxx  
“I can’t believe Director Agent kicked me out.” Dr. Stark said being quite dramatic as he entered the access codes for his large house in the DC suburbs. That wasn’t exactly what happened. The Director and doctor discussed her relocation to Stark Industries before he was ‘asked’ to leave the property. “We had to wait for an hour and a half at a McDonald’s for my driver to come get us.” That was her fault. Dr. Stark and Captain Roger’s original travel plan would not work for three people plus luggage, even though she wasn’t bringing a lot. To make matters worse, the only car rental had nothing available, even for a billionaire.

“In Director Coulson’s defense, you did try to have sex in Lola.” The scientist followed behind him. She had the misfortune of interrupting the couple while they were making use of Lola. "I’m surprised he allowed May to drive us to the McDonald’s for pickup.” 

“It wouldn’t be the first… I’m not explaining this to you. You’re my new assistant. And as my new assistant you don’t have to call him Director Coulson anymore. You get to call him Director Agent like the rest of us. And you can get me coffee. I need coffee. I have to call Pepper. Actually, I need something harder than coffee, but I need to be sober for that conversation.” She wondered why he was so nervous; hiring her couldn’t be that big of a problem.

“I’m not getting you coffee Dr. Stark. You’ll never fall asleep otherwise. Also, I think it would be best if you wait until morning to contact Ms. Potts." She suggested.

“Pepper already sent me seven text messages because Maria Hill has a big mouth when it suits her. Also I traded three engineers, two biologists, a chemist, a therapist, and an arc reactor engine upgrade for the Bus for you. At the very least, you can stop calling me Dr. Stark. Only condescending assholes have to call me Dr. Stark, you don’t qualify.”

“It’s ridiculous for me to call you Mr. Stark. You earned those doctorates.” She replied.

“Do you want me to call you Dr. Simmons all the time?” She shook her head no. “Then you can call me Tony and then you can get coffee.”

“I will get you your coffee after we call Pepper.” Captain Rogers said walking into the house. “Where do you want Ms. Simmons’ bags?”

“This is why I love you.” Dr. Stark or rather Tony said before kissing his boyfriend squarely on the mouth. They were quite adorable together, but it made her heart ache just a little. “Because you refuse to actually stay with me in my bedroom, making it our bedroom, I guess for now we can put her in Rhodey’s room. Bruce may be down in a couple of days and he will need the guest room. This just gives me another reason to get the remodeling work done on the bunker sooner.”

“Bunker?” She questioned.

“Well, I guess you really can’t call it that. It’s larger than that term implies. I mean, there are living quarters for about 40 people and three labs, not to mention all the office space. According to Maria, it was the original SHIELD DC offices. Apparently, I lived on top of a SHIELD cube farm for most of my adolescence and had no idea. I just bought into the lie my dad had lots of friends who dropped by frequently.”

“SHIELD office space?” She was still confused.

“Underneath the house there are about seven floors of infrastructure as well as a tunnel that leads all the way to 4 Mile Run and Reagan National.”

“Sir, Dr. Triplett is trying to call you and Ms. Simmons.”

“Put her through Jarvis.” He rubbed his temple.

“Hi Tony, imagine my surprise when your AI tells me that Jemma is now living with you.” The physician started.

“You know I always get the best talent. Stephanie, it’s great that you’re actually returning one of my calls. Even better, it took you under 27 years this time.” The scientist quipped.

“I’ve apologized for that. I was in a bad place and I did try to call prior to that.” Dr. Triplett said in her defense.

“I know after Afghanistan and I was a dick. I’m a dick a lot.” Tony turns around to look at his boyfriend and tilts his head to the stairs.

“They will be on the phone for a while. Let me show you to your room.” Captain Rogers says and grabs her bags again. She follows him to the second floor of the rather large house. The room which he escorts her to is not just a simple guest room, but rather a suite complete with a small kitchenette, walk-in closets, and sitting area. It was more like an upscale flat than a bedroom.

“I don’t need to stay here. I can get a hotel room until I can find an apartment.” Part of her reluctance was she didn’t want to walk in on the couple again. The other part was she did not want to take advantage. She still had a few prepaid debit cards on her with enough cash to get by on until her first paycheck. In her line of work or she should say former work now, it always paid to be prepared. She was in the private sector now, mostly. She did agree to consult when the need arose.

“I don’t think Tony completely explained everything to you during the drive back here.” The Captain said setting her bags down. “You’re a still wanted fugitive. The lawyers are trying to resolve things, but it may be a while yet.” 

“That’s not good.” 

“It’s better than it could be. Because of what happened with Colonel Talbot in Canada, Admiral Jolnes has just been named as the head of the counterespionage task force. Your team help save his life during the Cybertek incident.” She doesn’t mention that she was at the bottom of the ocean during the raid on Cybertek. She would prefer not to talk about that again today.

“In the meantime, you need to stay with us. That’s part of the reason why you’re going to be working for Tony, personally.”

“I’m not actually going to be his secretary?” She asked remembering the coffee request from earlier. However, if it meant working with Tony Stark directly she probably would do it. Maybe they would be able to figure out the secrets of GH 325.

“No, you’re going to be his assistant, his lab assistant. Although, you’re probably going to have to do some scheduling or any other function that JARVIS cannot do.” Captain Rogers explained.

“Like forcing him to leave on time for a meeting with Congress?” She asked.

“Exactly,” he agreed with a wry smile. 

“I can do that.” She had to do those things with Fitz. Sometimes he wouldn’t even eat without her. Of course, she hasn’t been doing very well on that score herself lately.

“Steph, I had no idea that they were using Lola to listen in.” Dr. Stark- Tony was saying as he walked into the room with phone in hand. JARVIS had evidently transferred the call from Dr. Triplett to the cordless from the speaker system. “I told Steve that stuff in confidence.” Tony came to a complete standstill. “No, I did not use the word rape. You’re the one who decided to…” Tony walks over and kisses his boyfriend while listening to Fitz’s doctor. “I’m sorry. I was panicking about … Yes, please still do the DNA test. I want to make this up to you, I could bring you… you’re right. You don’t want to put him in danger unnecessarily. It’s fine. We’ll talk in 20, if we can find parking. My driver quit 15 minutes ago after being forced to drive to middle of nowhere West Virginia on a Friday night.” He quickly ended the call.

“Why is Stephanie mad at you?” Capt. Rogers asked giving his boyfriend another quick peck.

“I put a camera inside of Lola and I think JARVIS likes Skye better than me.” 

“That doesn’t answer my question Tony.” The soldier looked annoyed.

Tony pointedly ignores Steve and turns to Jemma. “We need to get to GMUC. Your friend Leo just woke up.”

To be continued in Hydra Lullaby

Summary: Did you really think Hydra gets all their best agents from dysfunctional homes of socialites or the SHIELD unemployment lines? The perfect Hydra soldier is not recruited or brainwashed, he or she is born. That’s why Project Nursery was created and it is more than a relic of the 80s. If said child can be used to solidify Hydra’s power or as a means to manipulate certain people into doing their bidding, all the better.

This is my spin on the ‘Hydra created a child from Tony and/or Steve’s DNA story. Although, with Hydra it’s never that simple.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you are enjoying this.  
> Comments make the writer happy. Happy writers write faster.  
> Also, if anybody wants to volunteer to write that four-way between Tony/Steve/Colson/May I will adore you forever.


End file.
